Not sure how I missed this as the date today but today is two years for Revenge of Eve! Wow!!
Not sure how I missed this as the date today but today is two years for Revenge of Eve! Wow!!
I’ve come to realize that what is lacking in adulting is the use of our imagination. Today, I hope you search for the gold at the end of the rainbow. Because I will be. Always.
Thank you for doing for me what I haven’t found the strength to do for myself
I will get there though
And I’ll have you to thank for this day
I will sit with this sadness instead of wishing it away
Because you do mean something to me
What that is, I’m not so sure
I want for you to accept your situation and for you to escape it but you choose your prison and that is something I cannot change
Although feelings were forming, I never forgot who you are but that’s what is so beautiful about acceptance
It just is
Breaking free from the roles others have placed on you is scary
Believe me, I know
From warrior to Queen hasn’t come without it’s challenges
But once you taste its freedom, you can’t go back
You deserve peace from a life of pain but as bad as I want that for you, I cannot force something on you that you do not know exists
Where you live breeds evilness and its power is stronger than me
But one day, you’ll see
And when you do
I hope you know
There is a new series presented by Beckie of the blog Beckie’s Mental Mess. If you are not following her journey, you are missing out!! If you have ever read the comment section of any given post here on R.O.E., you will have read Beckie’s input.
As a very supportive blogger and friend dear to me, I am honored she reached out and asked me to participate in her series. These days my blogging life is hit and miss and I appreciate the personal invite. This is the first of the first as Beckie’s first prompt challenge. Her intentions are to target the mental health community of bloggers.
Here, I’ll let her do the explaining…
Each week I will ask a question or questions pertaining to mental health or I will even go as far as posting a surprise. Your job if you so choose to join along, is to write a post on your own blog, and creating a ping-back to the original post.
It is up to you the reader to decide if you want to write a non-fictional or fictional piece, poetry, short prose… Whatever you like and/or whatever you feel most comfortable doing. Whatever you choose to do, I will, therefore, reblog what you have written. This is one way to not only promote your site but also spread awareness to all things mental health related.
As an added bonus… Since there are so many different mental health illnesses/disorders, YOU, the blogger can send me a comment as to what you would like to be the next question (s), and they will be addressed in future posts.
What is the reason behind the “Mental Health Prompt of “Working on Us” (?) It’s fairly simple actually. I’d like this series to be an all-inclusive mental health community blog in order to be a source of more support towards one another. Idea’s, suggestions, and advice can be shared amongst the group.
So, Are We Ready? I am going to start with two prompts. You can pick one or both, and again, you can choose how you want this to be written.
When you first found out that you had a mental illness/disorder, what was your first reaction? Explain, how this new revelation regarding your health affected you?
Reminder: This is the first time I conducting “Prompts” so forgive me if I’m doing something wrong. 🙄
Select one or the other or both prompts. Write your own non-fictional, or fictional piece, or poetry, short story, (Whatever you want), then create a ping-back or copy your post and enter it in the comment section of this post.
And now for my part 💕
Some see a season
I see a twist
Do I dare speak
on what I see?
As you sit there
I do see
what you see
It’s never compared
And you see
I was raised to believe
that me being me
has broken me
I shall say
as I see
A side profile
that represents a space
that houses the brain
Is it a tree you see?
Do you see…
snow on the ground?
I see a broken soul
Are those crows you see?
I see repetitive thoughts
birds of prey
feeding off the carcass
of the soul
With footprints leaving their mark
a soul was
My vision stripped
Because of you
As some of you may know, R.O.E. is undergoing some growing pains – most effected by these adjustments is the design. Originally I warned that I would not be investing the time into redesigning because it is likely things will soon change. What I have privately decided is to take it easy on the blogging front over the summer but also, I cannot allow my space to look ugly. Lol…but seriously. There is no way I can click on this site and be proud of any of the content when the photo sizes are customized to suite a premium theme when I have opted for the free site for the time being. I cannot do it. I also will not fret about having everything changed in a set amount of time.
The photo above is my new logo and I love it. I will be making some adjustments to it by trying to remove the glare from the metallic letters but until then, here it is!!
Tell me whatcha think!
I have shifted most of my focus to preserving and enjoying life as it happens. I have been very fortunate in my recovery and I am grateful for that but not long ago I was taken back to a place I never thought I’d revisit. Not because I believed I was cured but because it slammed me against the wall with no mercy. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know something was brewing but I did not expect it to be as severe as it were.
In true Candace form, I looked for the lesson in the pain and boy were there a few this time!! One that I took away was: I have become so comfortable with seclusion that I am not living. Don’t get me wrong, I am comfortable because I truly love the things I spend my time doing these days but for my mental wellness, it is not healthy for me to constantly be alone. Granted my thinking has been minimal, I can still do some damage with my thinker if left to my own devices.
On my creative journey, I have noticed that inspiration for projects come when I am enjoying life at the moment instead of sitting at home searching for it. This is where I draw my creativity from and when I do the bare minimum of it, my creative well runs dry.
Having reconnected with my best friend (more on that later) I see a summer spent preparing (my) Kid for her senior year and helping my bestie with her four. This summer marks the second year that we all have not attended a music festival and we are all feeling it!
Being a single parent to four wild children that range in age from 14 – almost 5, I’d say she has her hands full. When a mutual friend reached out to me and insisted I check on her, I made the decision to express the pain I’ve felt from the two years of separation as well as why I had to step away. We cried and as always I devised a plan. One that we will carry out over the summer together.
We have a huge task ahead of us but I know that if we are consistent, it will be successful. I had reached a segment of my recovery where I had to step away from her to continue my journey but in doing so I carried guilt. One that wasn’t allowing me to progress rather contributed to my last breakdown. We have survived this life as one and I refuse to leave her behind to defend for herself and her four rugrats alone. I made it clear to her that I cannot and will not do so but she has to do her part because I can’t do it for her. She agreed. We cried, hugged and now comes time for some serious scheduling and discipline because her children are like ferell children doing as they please and running her home rampid with disrespect and terrible attitudes.
Today (yesterday) is the first day of summer here in NorthWest Louisiana and I am about to put action to a dream plan. I will not be posting verbatim my daily rigamarole but I will keep a notebook and a log. This is to serve as a record keeper for what worked and what didn’t. If you are curious about this project and want to receive progress updates, subscribe to receive theGarden in your inbox!
I am not taking on any projects that go outside of what my focus is. I’ve actually a few things in the works but I’m not going to speak on them because that’s when I place unnecessary pressure on myself and end up failing every single time. Things are looking up and I have no expectations attached. I want to laugh, love and live for crying out loud. That’s it! And those are the three things I am working towards these days, how about you?
It is so easy to fall within the frame of mind that lends itself to negativity without realizing how it contributes to the negative vibes that sometimes consume our world but today, I refuse to do so. Today I will not feel like my happiness is set up rather enjoy it and accept it.
Too often I find that I am guilty of wallering in moments that have passed but because of me, they remain. I’m going to let go of any of that and appreciate the beauty in the small gifts I am gifted, today.
I could go on but I will stop with those because I’ve got some vitamin D to soak up!!!☀
What are some things that you are grateful for today?? Let me know in the comments.
I hope all who read this realize the impact you have had on my life. Words do no justice for when trying to express that. Because of many of you, I have the will to live and not just exist. Y’all have singlehandedly changed the way I view myself, my potential and my purpose which has completely changed my perspective about this thing we call life. That’s huge for someone who wanted to die 10 days ago and from the bottom of my heart
I love y’all!
Hold and cuddle them while you can.
Before you know it, it is you they cannot stand.
Wipe their noses and butts,
Help them out of ruts,
Watch as they drive you nuts!
Eyes that once glowed with pride
Go on to swollen and full of tears.
Before you know it, you question
“What happened to all those years?”
You do your best not to pass on your fears.
You give them room to grow.
But we aren’t taught how to cope when our daughter becomes a ho
Or our son an abusive asshole
Or a drug addict,
But, HEY! At least you get ONE day!
So to all the mothers out there…
Don’t think you are alone in a world of perfect moms because none of us have it figured out. All you can do is be the best version of yourself and if anyone wants to judge you for that, fuck them, wink back.
I’m done with role play.
Either accept me
Or walk away.
I will no longer coddle
I am setting
Respecting this boundary
And if you take this personal,
That’s on you.
I hate to sound
Like a cold-hearted
No longer will I claim
Bipolar, alcoholic, introvert,
….I could go on
But instead, I
will move forward.
With or without you
that’s up to you.
I am just a girl
Who wants to
Believe in herself.
S.Y.K. gives an insider look at our personal opinions about everyday life. It challenges us to speak our opinion when asked because half the time, we aren’t even asked yet we vomit it up (eeeewwwwee) 🙂 The questions asked are random questions usually prompted by things I see occurring often or things that keep showing up in my life. To answer them is not to debate them rather participate and… well, share your opinion on certain subjects.
Never participated?? No problemo. Simple and easy to follow instructions————- answer the questions!! I’m a bit of a smartass today, aren’t I? But seriously…
Create a post on your site answering the following questions OR post your answers in the comments. If you publish a post, pingback to any S.Y.K post. Badabingbadabom! And that’s it folks…
As for my answers, I post them with the new set of questions, the following week, except last week we didn’t do S.Y.K. because I had stuff going on-my bad and I posted about stationery so, yeah.
Now if this is your first go-round of S.Y.K., don’t let this week’s questions fool you. We normally get pretty deep or I do…bahahahaha
Thanks for dropping by and please, say hi. Have a wonderful Monday and if you are struggling, always know I am struggling (mentally) more 😦 Jk…know that I love you 😉
It’s me again! And it’s Monday again… Booooooo! I’m back today with your friendly So You Know series and a little chit chat 🙂
Yesterday in the United States we celebrated Easter. I believe if you are Christian this holiday is universal (don’t quote me on that). Easter is my family’s favorite get together and this year’s events went wonderful! The kids enjoyed their bag’s full of goodies and the food was to die for.
Let’s roll out this week’s questions.
As with each S.Y.K. post, the guidelines first.
I like to keep it pretty simple around here so here are a few things to keep in mind while participating:
*A number of questions will be asked. At least 1, no more than 5.
*Questions will range in subject from cherries to prostitution.
*Participation will consist of you creating a post on your website, listing the questions and responding.
*Pingback to any SYK post
Pretty easy, right? Give your readers a little insight to who you are and participate in S.Y.K every Monday!
And that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!