Blooming at 40?? Yup! 🙂

Mental Health & Recovery, Personal Growth & Goals

Before I begin, can someone please tell me how to center the text on the mobile app with the new editor? I suppose I am just realizing how much I use my phone for blogging and not being able to center the text has nerved me to no end!! And has stopped me from posting on more than a few occasions.


Brief

Maybe you have noticed, maybe not…but things have been the quietest they have ever been around here. There isn’t any particular reason but life has decided there are more things to confront, heal, and process than I had originally speculated. Will I allow it to break me? I’d prefer to let it shape me but that doesn’t go to say it’s easy. If there are two things I have learned about all of this self-improvement shit, it’s that hard realities must be faced with honesty and patience is required throughout all of it.

Patience

When 2019 arrived I made it my mission to forgive those who I felt have wronged me in a way that continues to impact my life. I don’t hold resentments over petty things so my list of those to forgive is short. So short in fact, I had moved through half of that list in the first month by forgiving one person!! Well, technically there is no half to three…there is but I should say there is no half of a person. Lol. However you want to look at it, my list consists of three people. One of those being myself.

Unbeknownst to me, the order I had planned to do the forgiving in, least impactful to most, didn’t go as planned. This is where patience plays a vital role. I’ve realized life unfolds on its own terms and if I encounter resistance its because that isn’t the time for things to unfold. At the beginning of all of this, I found myself trying to force one thing only for another to prevail. Instead of pushing back on my plan, I let go of the reigns and decided it would go much more smoothly if I invested myself in the things that were showing up, in no particular order. I’m not a fan of surprises but let’s just say it has been interesting.

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Hard realities and honesty

Being that I have a history with substance abuse, it is a given I will be reminded of things I did that hurt others. Of course, this was never my intention but so the story goes. Alcohol became the filter remover I thought I needed to heal and accept myself but the reality is I spewed some ugly, hurtful words to those who truly matter.

Many of you can attest that I have been at a standstill in my growth/recovery for quite some time. This was the most aggravating phase but it was because I had a vision of how I imagined things to go. I didn’t realize in order for the big things to surface, I had a million little things that lead up to them.

I kept searching and yet there it was, right under my fuck’n nose. I asked and would receive but the truth is…I wasn’t listening. But believe me, I hear it all clearly now. This has been the push I needed. Forcing me to connect with myself on a deeper level (is that even possible?). I’m here to say and as a witness we can always improve but instead of beating ourselves up over it, if we allow it, it comes and goes. The weight that is lifted is much greater than the pain.

The growth that has happened here was made apparent in the way the universe presented it. There’s no way I could’ve missed it. And if you wanna know the truth, it humbled me, shattered my heart, and taught me a huge message about judgment. I am still smoldering and so, I am still a bit sensitive. I am learning to do things different and I may fail but that’s ok. I will never know success until I’ve tasted failure.

Baby steps.

I’m taking baby steps.

And while I tiptoe my way through the last few months of the year, I am going to continue seeking what I desire from within. I’ve accepted this is life and with every step forward, there is the possibility of a step backward…but I think I’ll work on my perspective, and maybe, just maybe, I will find peace just from taking the next right step.

revenge of eve-letter143

8.5.19

Mental Health & Recovery, Personal Growth & Goals

Today there was a breakthrough in your recovery. Isn’t it crazy how in one sitting, one conversation with your therapist, you were able to identify this trigger happening six days ago and your sophomore year in high school?

Unbeknownst to me yet came from me?! This is a big day for you and the future success of your healing. Don’t minimize it and don’t obsess looking for all the other times it’s shown up in your life. Just be proud of yourself for once. Although you didn’t realize the work that was being done, you were able to do it without strenuous effort or loss of sleep.

You make me proud Candace. Keep being honest and keep pushing for healing within. Things will fall into place when it is time. You don’t have to force yourself to heal. Just love yourself and you will.

Officially…

Personal Growth & Goals

It is Official

It is the last weekend of summer vacation, for the last time 🙁

My daughter starts her senior year in five days!! Wow! It hasn’t quite registered that 13 years of schooling will soon come to an end but waking this morning the thought hit me.

I mean we look forward to these days, right? I have almost made the decision to leave this area when my daughter graduates and writing this makes it seem as though I need to make the decision. Not permanently rather explore and be wowed. I need to stand on the edge of a volcano, next to a waterfall, or count the stars from the desert. I am restless. Bored and starved of inspiration.

Official Revenge of Eve

But before I think about any of that, I must make sure to take each day, from the first day of school to the last, to be present with my daughter. Recovery is a wonderful thing but it doesn’t give back the days you lost while actively using. I knew when I had my daughter that she was it for me and instead of absorbing every milestone, we cheered and moved on to the next. Accomplishment after accomplishment checked off making each a distant memory. There are things I wish I had made a bigger deal and of course, the opposite is true. My goddaughter starts kindergarten this year and that really brings all of this into perspective. My child will soon (February) be an official adult.

She has always been treated as a person, never a child and that makes me wonder if that was the right approach. How much of a childhood did she really have? Does she appreciate that we’ve always respected her as an individual? Should we have done more to make sure she wasn’t too mature?

There are so many unanswered questions but from looking at the way she carries herself, presents herself, makes decisions, and respects herself, I must say, we (our family village), did some things right. Sure she is a little lazy, some days entitled, and other days moody but for the most part, she’s a decent, kind, compassionate, and persistent young lady.

But annnnywayyyys!

I finally got around to editing my site icon. Whatcha think about? Personally, I’m dig’n it.

I will end this note with please be kind to yourself today. You deserve the finest pleasures and joy just as much as the next guy. I love you and really, that’s enough for a few people!!

Be Kind to Yourself

Kind Hearted Challenge – August Edition

R.O.E. Need To Know

I have attempted to reblog this post for the majority of the day!! After many failed attempts, I finally was successful using my laptop!! Sheesh. Check this act of kindness out. It truly is contagious. I am honored to have inspired such a positive display of kind-heartedness. Do participate, please!!

Cyranny's Cove

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Happy first day of August, Lovelies!

As you might know, I have been waiting for a while to post this, and I am quite excited to finally launch this new, monthly Kind Hearted Challenge!

What is the Kind Hearted Challenge about?

It is really simple… First of all, it is not a challenge per se, but more an invitation to take a moment and think about doing kind things around you. You don’t have to participate every month, and if you join in, you have all month to complete your mission.

I think that spreading the word out is the best way to get at least a couple of people to think “You know what? That’s really easy, I think I’ll give it a try!” There are so many free, easy acts of kindness that we can do in our everyday life… Things to make other people around us…

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And More…

R.O.E. Need To Know
2 days of giveaway-Revenge of Eve
I will be adding much more to this package 🙂

The advertisements found in this package are all sourced from estate sales and antique shop’s by yours truly. I seek and I destruct. I cut some to size, I undo binding, I dye each page if that is the desired look I am going for, I group similar images, I cut designer paper down to different sizes. All of this is done for you to have a nice variety to be used in your personal journals. I enjoy the process of doing all of these steps to provide products for my followers. Your support and patience mean the world to me.

I have hired someone to help me with assembling notebooks and putting products in their proper shipping bags. She is supportive of the future of my business and is accepting payment once the products are sold. I cannot wait until that is not the case 🙂 My medication is working but not to its full potential. But, honestly y’all, Thank you for being so patient as my mental health has bounced from extreme to extreme. Your support doesn’t waiver and you know what?? For someone who craves stability….y’all are the true MVP’s!!

Giveaway Day One – Prizes Pictured

R.O.E. Need To Know

First of many

Today, stay on top of Revenge of Eve!! I will be flooding the feed with pictures of today’s winner packet!! This is post one!! You ready????


2 days of giveaway-Revenge of Eve

I know you’ve already seen that one but… for those who missed it!!

2 days of giveway-Revenge of Eve

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve seen this one too!! Lol. I can’t keep a surprise!! My bad. I’ll do better 🙂

Don’t forget…comment GIVEAWAY2 to be entered to win!!