Not sure how I missed this as the date today but today is two years for Revenge of Eve! Wow!!
Not sure how I missed this as the date today but today is two years for Revenge of Eve! Wow!!
If you are familiar with southern rap music, you’ll know that any time they “claim their city” or “represent” their hometown; like saying ” 504 Boyz” ~ Lil Wayne ~…. 504 is New Orleans’ area code. Up in Northern Louisiana, we are 318 – also known as Ratchet City (😂😂😂😂) I can’t make this shit up..! (I❤it!)
Reminiscing on when my life was hectic – being a full-time time mom, girlfriend, active alcoholic, full-time employee, and whatever else I was doing – we were so active!!!! One of our favorite things to do was tour our city. We love the downtown area of the city across the bridge from where we currently reside.
The developments restoring the old, brick factory buildings, turning them into living space along with the plantation mansions getting two sometimes four apartments out of one – has been expanding further out and so, with y’all in mind, I present you the Central West End Tour – keep in mind this is my first time to explore this part of town. The pictures reflect when fresh eyes meet wonder. I find beauty in dilapidated buildings and dead trees (not pictured today) so not all pictured has been restored…but there is hope.
(It hasn’t always been this way)
Much to my surprise, my local town has developed an area dedicated to Asia, Asian Gardens. I find this interesting as my area isn’t one heavily influenced by Asian culture or the races of Asia, BUT the casinos generate a variety of cultures with Asian clientele topping the chart for feeding the gambling bug.
This area is located smack dab in the middle of our downtown area. I worked mere blocks from this dedication for a number of years and spent too many nights dancing until the sun came up, although, the Asian Gardens were not here at the time.
Here in Louisiana, the state is fueled and funded by the lovely alcohol tax. The laws that surround the sale of alcohol are determined parish to parish (we do not have county’s). You may be surprised to learn that our night clubs stay open until… Wait for it…. 6 am. Yes, that’s right! Outside of the downtown area and for the sale of alcohol in stores, it stops at 2 am but back in business at 7 am. There is a loophole that allows for drinking on casino property 24/7!!! Makes perfect sense that I am an alcoholic in recovery!
These photos are of small statues that are each dedicated to areas of Asia.
There are mini gardens dedicated to specific parts of Asia scattered throughout a quarter mile radius. I am ashamed to say that I failed I record the details of this impromptu tour to coincide with its photography.
*note to self: take pics, jot notes*
Kid and I have already toured the next spot for Louisiana Love and I can’t wait to go back for the info!! Until next time,
❤ from Louisiana
We all know how easily I can be distracted and I have been so for a month. Squirrel. Lol. But no, really. And omg how huge this day is???!!! I can honestly see that I am growing.
I won’t fool you and say the decision was mine because it wasn’t but what I can say is, I felt the sadness of it, and let it go. No obsessing, no fighting it, no harassing, no embarrassment, no shame, no regret…just acceptance. Wow!! Fuck’n WOW!!!
Wow. It’s a beautiful thing. To be able to speak on the things you feel in the moment but to also let go of those things because they are now in the past…even if it was an hour ago, it’s gone. The sadness I feel is because I have to leave the broken behind to save myself. But I will never truly let go of those whom I wish to rescue from themselves and so I’ll improve myself in hopes of them seeing the potential presence has. The peace it offers. The pain it relieves. The love it has.
The pure essence of it is at its core is an amazing concept and one I find my soul grasping onto for its own survival. A warrior I am and a slave I have been but I’ve felt the release acceptance brings and I refuse to let that go. That belongs to me – within me. Embedded in my soul. It is my soul.
It is for everyone, not only me and if you embrace it, you will see. You too are worthy. Set yourself free and just BE.
If you are reading this know that you are witnessing its power. I am changing. It is changing me. I am allowing it and fuck is it scary but so fuck’n worth it!!!
* If you are reading this, thank you, Chris. Your respect and faith in me has given me strength. *
Thank you for doing for me what I haven’t found the strength to do for myself
I will get there though
And I’ll have you to thank for this day
I will sit with this sadness instead of wishing it away
Because you do mean something to me
What that is, I’m not so sure
I want for you to accept your situation and for you to escape it but you choose your prison and that is something I cannot change
Although feelings were forming, I never forgot who you are but that’s what is so beautiful about acceptance
It just is
Breaking free from the roles others have placed on you is scary
Believe me, I know
From warrior to Queen hasn’t come without it’s challenges
But once you taste its freedom, you can’t go back
You deserve peace from a life of pain but as bad as I want that for you, I cannot force something on you that you do not know exists
Where you live breeds evilness and its power is stronger than me
But one day, you’ll see
And when you do
I hope you know
A big congrats to Sneha’s Expression – For Women for taking home the 2019 Bloggers Bash Award for Personal Development Blog. You can check out all of the other winners on The Bloggers Bash Website. I would also like to say congratulations to all of those who were nominated. It takes a special person to go out of their way to nominate another blogger for an award and an equally as special blogger to be nominated.
Being nominated was the highlight of my 2019!!! Thank you all who nominated and or voted for R.O.E.
So You Know is a series that goes live each and every Monday (well 95% of the time). It’s a series intended to bring the reader closer to their favorite bloggers. To participate is simple.
Win or lose, I’ve already won! Simply being nominated was winning for me. So before the results are announced I would like to let y’all know I am forever grateful for your support and encouraging words. Y’all have fueled my journey.
Finding my voice has never been a challenge. My delivery…a different story. When your internal voice is cruel, the tendency to portray what you mean can be easily misconstrued as abrasive. It may as well be but because of you, I have learned that speaking kindly to myself has the ability to change my whole perspective on life. I call that a win!!
Thank you to each of you for every comment, like, email, donation, and follow. You can go to bed at night knowing that you have singlehandedly helped someone on their personal improvement journey and I hope to not let us down.!!..
Hey y’all! I’m still here just not as active. Ever since Kid was eight, I believe, her father and I rotate weeks during summer break. She was 11 (2013) when she went to live with him as her custodial parent, giving me more free time than I knew what to do with.
With my sobriety date being 4-20-2015 those two years is a blur. From 2015-2017 I spent my days sleeping and my nights working as I adjusted to life as a mom without full custody. Hard doesn’t come close to describing such an adjustment. When I think about it, I have no clue what I did in my free time but if I’d have to guess it was absolutely nothing. When I picked up blogging mid-year 2017, I wondered why I hadn’t done so for years prior but oh how quickly I am reminded.
We are on week three of summer and week two with Kid. It isn’t that she requires a lot as much as it is me wanting everything to be perfect for when she needs something. I try to accommodate her every move by limiting her movement – if that makes any sense. Basically, she sits back and I cater to her. Not because of her but because of me.
I know many will say that me doing so only hinders her and I agree, buttttt… I am stopping!
I bet you thought I was gonna say, “she’s my only”!! Tricked ya!
All I want in life is for my child to be a kind, functional, impactful human being. All the rest, I could care less about. The reality of her being functional is for her to be able to do things independently and this includes feeding herself, managing chores, and maintaining her personal hygiene (mental and physical).
Each week she is with me she is learning to cook two meals. Her chores are a work in progress more so on my behalf than hers. She needs to tweak her attention to detail and then she will be fine with that aspect. This summer she will see my therapist alone and with me so we can overcome any obstacles that will restrict further growth and she has signed up for a membership at the gym right up to the road from where I live. Gasp! When she returns to school she will be a senior and with that comes a lot of preparation and responsibility. To avoid excuses we are mapping out the year as well as meeting deadlines for college applications and scholarship/funding requirements. We are making her a Senior/College mini binder with monthly calendars that require something for college to be taken care each month. The purpose of this is to calm any anxiety and also to not miss out on an opportunity because she “forgot”.
Alllll of that on top of her working, soccer training, and hanging with friends…shew!! And still…she impresses me. Her work ethic is legit, her attitude about readjusting [I shut down as a full-time mom because in my eyes someone else was fulfilling that role] isn’t bad at all and life seems to be falling in place.
**It’s important I own my part and I am working through that with my therapist and will write a post once I process it**
And as it falls into place, for what seems so natural to me and even her, ” my” time is once again limited but I will never complain about that.
I know it is important not to submerge ourselves in roles but there is only a short period of time that she will be fully reliant upon me (and her father) so I will soak up all the time I can have with her trying to continue preparing her for the real world but also realizing that I cannot be replaced so there is no need for me to step down.
Low self-esteem and lack of confidence show up in my everyday life and I am ready to tackle it head-on. I have never fully healed from the emotional and verbal abuse of my childhood and instead, I shut down. I have been learning to reflect my feeling through art but my low self-esteem hinders me from showing it and even worse, sharing it with the world.
But with all of that said, the total number of visits to my site seem minuscule compared to what is brewing/being planted within myself. Like with everything come the downsides and that is me not being as active in reading the up to date news with each of you. I feel guilty that I have comments I have not responded to, YET…but I am also not allowing that guilt to consume me. It is important for me not to.
Please know that I think of each of you daily. I remember your encouraging words when I need a boost and I am grateful you still visit my posts although at the moment I show little to no support. Keep in mind I am cheering y’all on but now, I am also rooting for me. Thank you for helping build me up to this point. A point to where I will need strength to rip off the bandages and sit with things I’ve never understood. There is so much to come to life from this moment forward and I can only hope that you will continue on with me through my journey.
Having a curious mind
tends to take my thoughts
and press rewind.
Among those thoughts
Some of which
of my life.
Detaching from my thoughts
I find peace
Where am I to muster the strength
what my daughter
me to be
when others break
I have no
for saying it won’t happen
would be a lie.
When will this world heal?
How can I protect my only
from broken others?
I can only
beg and plead
she not become
as calloused as
Good morning dear friends. Today I decided I would like to touch on a topic near and dear to my heart, journaling. Wait! Don’t scatter!! I am not talking about your typical style of journaling rather creative journaling.
In the linked article you will find the author goes into a brief history about creative journaling, proper strategy’s that result in therapeutic benefits, as well as her personal experience with creative journaling. I have yet to define what it is creative journaling is for me. At the moment I would say that it is more so me combining designs and techniques in search of my own individual style. I am finding that I struggle to actually journal over the pretty collaging and choose to add my journaling to a separate piece of decorated paper and attach it or put it in a pocket on the page I came up with.
The more and more I practice I seem to improve but I have to be honest when I say I still struggle with perfection and achieving desired results. I am too hard on myself and I am an unforgiving critic. I assumed that such creative journaling would come easy to me because of the habit I have developed over the course of 30 years of journal writing but that hasn’t been my experience. Others compliment my work but I am not to the point of where I am satisfied. I put creating journals on hold in order to focus on my own development whuch in return will improve those I look to sell.
You may have found yourself needing an outlet to release your fears or worries, your personal struggles or you may simply enjoy writing for memory purposes. Whichever the case, I would love to introduce you to creative journaling.
Give me a second of your time and I’ll explain in further detail what creative journaling means to me.
If you search on Instagram you can hashtag search creative planning and millions of photos will be at your fingertips. I first discussed creative planning at the beginning of the new year. It is where you decorate your planner pages using sticker kits, markers, washi tape, decorative paper clips… you get the picture…
It isn’t that this form of journaling/planning is more productive or has superpowers that take you to Oz but what it does do is it adds character to your pages and breaks the monotony of a blank, white page.
There are a million ways you can approach this style of journaling. Personally I achieve unique pages by layering bits of ephemera from my day to day life or by pulling from my insane collection, where I go on to create a background for my writing.
You can either hide your writing under the layers of paper so that only you know what lies beneath or you can add your writing to a separate piece of paper and then add it to the college of papers you’ve glued down. Here is a more visual description.
This doesn’t have to be exclusively for your personal info. You can use the idea when creating a piece of fiction writing. Sketch what each character looks like, to you, on a piece of paper and adhere it to your page. From there you can write out ways to describe them using specific adjectives that make your character come to life.
You can do this with each setting, every character, and you will have a visual and written representation of your ideas. Begin a fresh page with a new chapter and this will help to organize your thoughts for the book you are writing!! Buy a cheap notebook and dedicate it to use for this idea!!
It creates interest when you layer specific papers to your pages. The papers used do not have to mean anything because it is about writing your thoughts. Or..you can be like me and use a mixture of meaningful papers and decorative papers. That’s the beauty of it. It is all personal preference and totally up to you. What’s even better is that you can make a mistake and cover it up with a layer of paper 🙂 The sky’s the limit.
My tendency to become obsessed with ideas that include bit and pieces of paper that accumulate from everyday life is off the charts. From my earliest years, I’ve held on to notes written from friends, tickets from concerts, wristbands from waterparks, movie ticket stubs and anything else that brought back to life a moment in time that I enjoyed. Due to an invasion of privacy, any memories kept prior to my sophomore year went up in flames.
Keeping journals and other bits and pieces of paper became a routine of stuffing in designated drawers and writing in code so that if there were another breach in privacy, the perpetrator would not know specifics. These pieces of my life remain in a trunk stored in my storage unit while my journaling is scattered among notebooks. Since stumbling upon creative journaling I have made it my mission to gather any and all papers and combine them to best of my ability. My ultimate goal would be to bind them together in one book for my daughter to have when I am gone. Will that happen? I hope so.
My code writing days have become more elusive with my give a damn and my life of collecting papers along the way has doubled with an influx of ideas. Using everyday papers collected from your experiences and adding them to your journaling is referred to as junk journaling. Oh, the possibilities paper holds!! Hours upon hours have been spent watching YouTube videos of creating memory masterpieces transforming my love of paper into an idea catalog that I haven’t quite yet to organize but I am getting there. Much to my surprise, this creative endeavor has led to the discovery of art journaling, glue books, and a travelers notebook system. Talk about paper heaven!! I can’t get enough.
I have made it my mission to combine vintage and modern designs with designer paper as well as daily junk paper to create memory keeping books for others to record and store their most precious moments. May 2, 2018, I declared my beginning of a creative journey and boy let me tell ya a journey it’s been. The hours I have invested in research, trial and error, practice using my own life’s memories, creating a studio, organizing and reorganizing my new space, shopping, purchasing, disassembling books and magazines, cutting, gluing…can not be totaled. The best part is that I have LOVED every minute of it!!