Changing My Life (One Day At A Time)

Revenge of Eve

Hello 2019

It is now the new year. So much pressure is put on the new year and I realized this as I scrolled through reading the posts of other bloggers. I am not putting that pressure on myself. I am aware that life happens and that I am not in control but I will do what I am capable of doing to pass on positivity and learn about myself in the process.


January

I have set my goals for January. The target goal assigned to this month is: Be More Present (most significantly as a mom)

Keeping it simple they are:

  1. Do not take my phone to the field (soccer).
  2. One hour each time Kid is with me is to be spent with no technology
  3. Journal daily

My secondary goals are:

  1. Exercise 30 minutes a day. Not strenuous or exhaustive. Stretching is good.
  2. Use the focus mode setting on my laptop.
  3. Listen to a podcast about mindfulness. Do not do anything while listening.
  4. Write a gratitude list every morning.

Revenge of Eve

Exercising

I did not list exercise as a goal to lose weight. I am at a good weight but I would like to tone the loose, hanging skin (as tears drop my eyes). I am no spring chicken and at 40 I need to keep momentum for health purposes. I am not one who is committed to eating healthy or exercising. I was gifted with decent enough genes that I haven’t worried about it. This isn’t to say that I’ve never been overweight because in my alcoholism I weighed a hearty 200 pounds. When I quit drinking I was able to shed 60 pounds pretty quickly. Shew but with that came flabby skin that I am self-conscious about. Well, I start today and will begin with stretching.

Podcast & Gratitude

Ok. I have been waiting with bated breath to share with y’all my absolute favorite podcast so far. I am new to the scene of podcasts so it is possible you have discovered this one but if you haven’t, you must! If you are on any type of spiritual journey or identity journey, I highly recommend Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations. Hands down a goosebump, ah-ha type of podcast.

I listen to it on Spotify but I am sure it is on iTunes as well. I pay monthly for my account so I am not sure if the free version offers podcasts. Each morning I have it programmed to play on my Google Home after the weather. It has been an inspiring way to begin my day.

A common denominator that the guests share about being fulfilled in life is through gratitude, love, and compassion. I will be intent on focusing on each of these individually with my target goals but also as a combined practice. Listing three things that I am grateful for in my planner helps keep me mindful throughout the day about the small things in life. I know I need it. Not because I am ungrateful but because I tend to forget about how good I have it.

When I first began Revenge of Eve my tagline was Painfully Privileged. I changed it so that I didn’t come off snobby but that is my truth. I have been fortunate throughout my life, not without pain, and I used that as a snarky tagline but ultimately removed it. My mother has provided shelter for my daughter and I over the course of my adult life. When I was actively drinking I would do good, move out, maintain, and then fall back. She has always been there to catch me and I realize not everyone has this luxury. Some may call it enabling but my Ma is not going to let her granddaughter suffer because of her mom’s choices.

Focus

Most of you are aware that I struggle with focusing. Thanksgiving night I braved the crowd and went to Best Buy with the intentions of getting a phone and walked out with an HP 2n1 Pavillion laptop. Under the setting is a mode called focus. As I have mentioned I haven’t used it yet but January will be the month. I will set the mode for one of my time blocks; 45 minutes. I will report the details in a later post. Fingers crossed it works.

Changing my life-Revenge of Eve

Difficult Decisions

The most significant change I am considering is leaving my job at the casino. It is extremely taxing physically and in order for our shift to operate smoothly all hand must be on deck. We have run into an entitled group of young servers who do not pull their weight making the load for us senior servers too heavy to bear. At my age and with my anger, I am tired, overworked and unhappy.

I am thinking about job hunting at a local bar where it is me I rely on. Being behind a bar is my safe area. It’s me that sets up, serves my guests, cleans and makes my money. So you guessed it. If I am going to be frustrated with anyone it will be myself. I have a loyalty to my managers at the casino and that has been what has kept me there the past week. I have left my shift in complete disarray as of late. The holiday season is grueling on my body and adding the extra weight of immature, lazy 19-23-year-olds, pisses me off. It isn’t necessary. I am prepared to make these difficult decisions this year. It is myself who has to live with what I choose and I trust me now. And that feels good.

I voiced my thoughts to my manager and she asked I hang on a little while longer until she can get new staff on board. I will wait as patiently as possible for the next two weeks.


As part of my morning routine, I write the thoughts that come to mind. I wrote the above, difficult decisions, before going into work. When I arrived at work my co-worker Dawn said she had something for me. Surprised and not knowing what for my immediate response was why. She knew I had a bad day the day before and she thought a gift bag full of stickers would brighten my day, along with two pair off socks and a cute triangular hanging flag! She was right! It literally made my heart pound that she would do something as sweet as this for me. Her story and mine are strangely familiar and that is what we have built our friendship upon. This gesture added such a kind sense of compassion to our friendship. It is these type of acts of kindness that restore my faith in humanity, a smidget. 😉


Candace Lynne - Revenge of Eve
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2019

Officially 2019!

12:01 am in Louisiana and many are bringing in the new year with fireworks, champagne, and kisses. How will you do 2019?

Happy New Year- Revenge of Eve

Ready or Not!!

Two-thousand nineteen is here and if we are not careful it will slip past us. From this day forward I will seek avenues that make life more enjoyable. I will volunteer my time to help those in need, if it doesn’t make me happy I will discard it, I will search within for theme that has been buried and I will lead with compassion.

Each year I choose a word as a guide and this year I decided on my third choice which is

-Discover-

It is my hope that 2019 reveals the true me. I am so lost among my diagnosis’ and who I think I am supposed to be. I have acted as a chameleon changing to accommodate my environment. I have always categorized myself a rebel but I’m not sure how true that is. I am opinionated but I believe the rebel in me is tired. I am ready to shed the skin I once wore. It no longer serves a purpose.

I want to discover who I am after alcoholism and drug abuse, separation from my father, diagnosed bipolar, along with my experiences. I am not trying to erase my past rather build upon it. I think January will be rough for me for many reasons but I will persevere. I foresee dramatic changes in 2019 and instead of staying in misery and contentment I will push beyond the fear and either fail or succeed. The only way I know which one is to try.

I will wake after this post is published and I will do so with intention. Have a safe day and buckle your boots, Revenge of Eve is on a mission!!

Candace Lynne - Revenge of Eve

When I Becomes We: A Pledge to Plan

When I Becomes We-Planning 2019-Revenge of Eve

Stat!

I will go ahead and state the obvious, we are close to the end of the year and need to get our butts in gear for our first attempt at planning!

Keep in mind:

Realistic. Honest. Simple.


When I Becomes We: A Pledge to Plan-Revenge of Eve
My spiral Fringe weekly planner and my growth notebook for 2019

Quick Recap

You should have your three goals for 2019 written out.  If not, we are rowing the same boat 😉

.Pause.

-WRITE THEM NOW-

Assign each goal 4 months.


Before we go any further

Let’s write a

A Pledge to Plan

Am I cheesy??  I’m cheesy.

I think one will benefit us by reminding us a few things.  Write this where it can be seen when you sit down and plan.  In the front of your planner, typed and framed on your desk..get creative.

I, (name), pledge to plan in 2019.  I am striving to achieve these 3 goals.  (List your three). I will remember to be patient, forgiving, and persistent.  Planning is a habit formed by practice and I am learning. If something isn’t working I will reconfigure my plans for next month.  I am creating a customized plan that suits mine and my family’s needs and will not compare my system to anyone else’s. Everything entered into my plans will be full of intention.  The plans entered are flexible because life happens and I will not quit if my plans have to be altered.

Signed xo


Next, jot down ideas of things that could be done, action, to work toward achieving the ultimate goals.  These will be our mini monthly goals. I separated them into a column style, graph-like diagram. I listed at least 10 under each goal.  The amount of each is up to you but it cannot be more than 16 because more will exceed your limit of 4 max each month assigned to your goal.

Do not forget that you have other aspects of life that will require your attention.  Having the mini monthly goals set at 4 max stops you from becoming overwhelmed.  I drew something, much nicer than the first one 🙂, that I think will be a great guide to follow.  It serves as an outline and I encourage tweaking it to your needs.


When I becomes we: A pledge to plan-Revenge of Eve

Here I made space for secondary goals and those would be ones specifically for your job, school, child’s dance class and then an area for scheduled events.  This scheduled area should be where you add to your planner your weekly and daily routines that you are trying to develop or that you have already established.  

“What?”, you say, yes,  we are now breaking our planning down further from goals to achieve this year, to monthly mini goals, and now on to daily….and soon, hourly.

We gonna get our shit together this year boys and girls.  🙂

Stopping Point

Before you decide that planning isn’t for you, this is a great stopping point.  Absorb the information provided, pin the image created as a guide and we will pick up here with more detailed images and in-depth instructions.  

Breathe.  Smile. And be grateful.  We have a plan!!!


If you have any questions at all, please chat with me.  Stay tuned for the third and final post in our When I Becomes We: Planning 2019 series.  There will be a fun, creative activity thrown in the mix 🙂


P.s. There will be many planning posts throughout the year.  I wouldn’t hang you out to dry like that, it is the last with this title.  Shew! I thought I lost ya.

Good night ~ sleep tight

Candace Lynne - Revenge of Eve

When I Becomes We: Planning 2019

Let’s Plan & Smash Goals Together


In 2019

When I Becomes We-Planning 2019-Revenge of Eve

Whether we are ready or not 2018 is coming to an end….like in two weeks!!  Year after year people across the globe set New Year resolutions only for 80% to have failed by March.  Such alarming statistics suggest we aren’t doing something right!!

Personally, I do not set resolutions.  I tend to shy away from opportunities to fail.  Each year I set a word to focus my life around. This year is no different with the exception of setting goals and planning them out.  Yup, I am going to attempt planning 12 months in advance, kind of (commitment issues), and so are you!

When-I-Bcomes-We-Revenge-of-Eve

A blank slate can present opportunity or it can stir up fear.  Some writers struggle with the intimidating blank screen while the artist does so with a blank canvass.  Similar to them, staring at a blank 12-month calendar can be overwhelming! Honestly, it is unrealistic to think you can plan a whole year in advance.  Life doesn’t happen that way. Twists and turns are thrown in the mix, sports schedules are not available, and the dance recital is scheduled two months prior.

Having the tendency to complicate things, I figure we will go all out and keep it simple in 2019.  I hear this phrase often but have yet put action to it.  But..for 2019, it’s a plan! 😉

If you think to yourself “ I don’t have time to plan”, stop that negativity right now!!  Set aside an hour or two a week and set yourself up for success. I choose Monday as my day for planning.  It is my day off and the beginning of my week. Have you decided on yours? Decide already…

What goes into planning?

Planning, as a role in my life, can be described as no other than a pain in the ass.  It seems that something pops up that I hadn’t planned disrupting the flow of my day.  What I have come to realize is that in order for planning to work, it must be customized to your lifestyle.  Buying a planner meant for entrepreneurs does nothing for someone without a business.

Customizing a plan of how to plan may be a bit extraordinaire but we are going to do it anyway because we are … learning.  Starting at the beginning is intimidating for all of us especially if you have attempted before and consider it a fail. We will not look at it that way.  These suggestions will help us break our life into parts that we can easily manage by using a customized planning system. But before we dive into that, here are three important things to keep in mind while we plan to plan 🙂


3 Ways to Simplify Planning and Goal Setting

  1. Be realistic
  2. Be honest with yourself
  3. Keep it simple

Realistic planning

Setting realistic goals contributes to your success rate.  Unrealistic goal setting will stress you out or have you throwing in the towel altogether.   In order to set realistic goals, you must have a realistic plan. The two go hand in hand. My recommendation is to set your goals first so you can break them down into months and further break those down to segments.  I’ll explain.

Set  3 goals that you wish to achieve

Randomly, assign each goal four months

Now let’s do a little math.  By using the 12 months as our denominator we will divide by 3 and get 4.  What is the purpose in this? We have broken our goals into months. The months under a goal are the months you work toward that particular goal. Next break it down to segments. Segment will be mini monthly goals. Do not set more than four goals each month.

Were you able to follow along?  My explanation may not have been presented in a way that is understandable for you but hang tight.  If it does not make any sense by the end of this post, then we can do something different for you.


Be Honest with Yourself

This part is critical when planning.  Do not set aside three hours for exercise if you have never exercised a day in your life.  That is wasted space and when it isn’t accomplished you will feel the wrath of failure and quit.  We ain’t got time for that boo.

Since we are being honest, I lie to myself alllll the time.  This area will require the most work from me. I like to plan a 30 hour day.  See how that doesn’t work? I can hear it now, “ Candace, aren’t realistic and being honest with yourself the same?”, and to that I respond “no”.

The difference is that Amy’s customized plan is realistic for her but can you say, honestly, that it will work for you?  If you are still confused read on.


Keep it Simple

“Wow Candace this whole post has been anything but simple!!”,  well, I tried but I am learning as we go. The idea belongs to me but the concept requires “we”.  There will be a drawing of me trying to get what is in my head out on “paper”, wait until you see that. Lol

Keeping it simple will require us not to overthink our decisions and continue to work towards our achievable goals.  Implementing this process will take practice and the only thing that gives us room for practice is time.  We cannot rush ourselves. We try it one way and if that doesn’t work, we try something else. It may take us a year to find our individual planning system but the beauty of this is we have each other to bounce ideas and suggestions off of.

If you are on the outside looking in your perspective isn’t necessarily better than my own, it offers another way of approaching my situation.  Make any sense? Does any of this make sense??


When-I-Becomes-We-Revenge-of-Eve

Here goes nothing.

  • If you are tired of winging life and would like to join along in an effort to become more organized, These post will be for you.
  • If you don’t mind that your fearless leader doesn’t know exactly what she is doing, you are encouraged to pipe in and help a sister out.
  • If you are interested in discovering the customized plan that works for you plus have the patience to develop it, you are the person we need.
  • If you want to watch us fail and get back up, getta’ life and get outta here!!!

Perhaps the word I have been feeling around for is accountability partner.  That sounds doable but of course that term would be tweaked a bit because more will go into it.  Like, exchanging emails, sharing ideas and embarrassing yourself by being completely 100% honest about falling flat on your face.

If all or any of this sounds interesting to you, comment I, and look for future posts titled When I Becomes We.

We aren’t meant to go at this thing called life alone and since we have the internet and none of us are having to physically get out of our comfort zones, we should take advantage of each others online presence, right?!  Makes sense to me but we all know by now my sense meter is a little off.

Just like with everything I am going to do in 2019, I am just putting it out there.  Eventually something will come of it.

Toodles ~ Candace


Don’t you dare laugh at my messy example. I normally would never post something as ugly as this but it is what it is, a rough sketch example. If this adds to your confusion, I am sorry. This isn’t an in-depth example, it is a brief example of how the idea began.

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Candace Lynne - Revenge of Eve