Working on Us

Mental Health & Recovery

Working on Us

There is a new series presented by Beckie of the blog Beckie’s Mental Mess. If you are not following her journey, you are missing out!! If you have ever read the comment section of any given post here on R.O.E., you will have read Beckie’s input.

As a very supportive blogger and friend dear to me, I am honored she reached out and asked me to participate in her series. These days my blogging life is hit and miss and I appreciate the personal invite. This is the first of the first as Beckie’s first prompt challenge. Her intentions are to target the mental health community of bloggers.

Here, I’ll let her do the explaining…


RULES:

Each week I will ask a question or questions pertaining to mental health or I will even go as far as posting a surprise. Your job if you so choose to join along, is to write a post on your own blog, and creating a ping-back to the original post.

It is up to you the reader to decide if you want to write a non-fictional or fictional piece, poetry, short prose… Whatever you like and/or whatever you feel most comfortable doing. Whatever you choose to do, I will, therefore, reblog what you have written. This is one way to not only promote your site but also spread awareness to all things mental health related.

As an added bonus… Since there are so many different mental health illnesses/disorders, YOU, the blogger can send me a comment as to what you would like to be the next question (s), and they will be addressed in future posts.

What is the reason behind the “Mental Health Prompt of “Working on Us” (?) It’s fairly simple actually. I’d like this series to be an all-inclusive mental health community blog in order to be a source of more support towards one another. Idea’s, suggestions, and advice can be shared amongst the group.

So, Are We Ready? I am going to start with two prompts. You can pick one or both, and again, you can choose how you want this to be written.

~*~

Prompt #1 – Question:

When you first found out that you had a mental illness/disorder, what was your first reaction? Explain, how this new revelation regarding your health affected you?

Prompt #2 – Picture:

Revenge of Eve

Reminder: This is the first time I conducting “Prompts” so forgive me if I’m doing something wrong. 🙄

Select one or the other or both prompts. Write your own non-fictional, or fictional piece, or poetry, short story, (Whatever you want), then create a ping-back or copy your post and enter it in the comment section of this post.


There ya have it, straight from the horse’s mouth!!

And now for my part 💕


Some see a season

I see a twist

Do I dare speak

on what I see?

As you sit there

and stare

I do see

what you see

And

It’s never compared

Different

And you see

I was raised to believe

that me being me

was different

And

something

I

shouldn’t

be

Mental anguish

has broken me

Hail to

today

I shall say

as I see

A side profile

that represents a space

that houses the brain

Is it a tree you see?

Do you see…

snow on the ground?

I see a broken soul

Dead

Are those crows you see?

I see repetitive thoughts

circling

or maybe

birds of prey

feeding off the carcass

of the soul

With footprints leaving their mark

Proof

a soul was

once there

My vision stripped

bare

Because of you

I dare

and

share.

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6.2.19

Personal Growth & Goals

The first week of summer comes to an end today and I must say it has been enjoyable. The quality time spent with my daughter is priceless and watching her develop a work ethic is admirable. Everything went as smooth as possible and I look forward to the next week she is here. We have a goal set to work toward as a reward for our hard work. We will reap its benefits early October and it will be a memory making time to be had. I look forward to it.

Things with myself are taking a turn for the better as I have opened myself to the possibilities of living not existing. I see positive changes on the horizon and even a possibility for happiness – one that I’ve never had.

Today I love the person I am becoming and I have faith in her and her ideas.

S.Y.K

Holiday Greetings

So You Know

S.Y.K.

Revenge of Eve

YO, Yo, Yo! It’s our favorite day of the week but this Monday is different because all most of my lovely followers are off for Memorial Day!! Gotta love a holiday weekend 🙂

– Happy Memorial Day –

Monday just happens to be my day off and it is no surprise it is my fave. The bonus is learning about fellow bloggers through the series S.Y.K.!

If you aren’t familiar with how this works, just follow a few simple steps and give your readers insight into the person behind the scenes – YOU!


  • Answer a few question by creating a post on your site or you can answer in the comment section below. Answer all or a few, its up to you.
  • If you create a post, link back to this week’s S.Y.K. post. Don’t know how? Let’s chat and I’ll walk you through it.
  • My only request is that you be honest with your answers.
  • Have fun. Be silly or serious – whichever fits the tone of your site
  • Be you because that’s who we want to learn about.

This Week’s Questions

  1. What is your favorite part of summer?
  2. Do you swim in bodies of water that are questionable? Like where you cannot see the bottom – lakes, ponds, the ocean… if so, what’s is your fear in doing so?
  3. What is the average temperature (Fahrenheit) of summer in your area?
  4. Do you have access to a pool? If so, is it your own private pool or a complex pool?
  5. What ocean is closest to you?

See, that wasn’t so bad! I can’t wait to read your answers and pin your location on a map that I have decided to keep close by to have a visual of where my blogging friends are located.


So You Know- Revenge of Eve
So You Know

My answers to last week’s questions:

  • How long have you blogged? What is the anniversary? I began blogging on July 15, 2017. I established my site on the 30th of May but had no clue what I was doing and so it sat for a little over a month before I decided to revisit it. I consider the 15th of July the anniversary of R.O.E.
  • What was your original purpose for beginning a blog? To be the author of my story. I had met a customer whose wife died from bulimia and when I asked about her, expecting him to tell a story related to her personality, he told a vague life story that did her no justice. He told the story of a woman abandoned by man and taken over by disease. In that very moment, I made the decision to share my story. It is one of struggle but it is mine. The efforts, the setbacks, and the victories all belong to me.
  • Did you research about blogging before establishing your own? None whatsoever and I am so glad that I did not. I would’ve never started. After a year of blindly blogging, I decided to search for blogging tips on Pinterest and let me tell ya…information overload. Too much out there. I am grateful I am self-taught because that is something I am proud of and no one can take it from me.
  • Has your purpose evolved or changed directions? If so, what was the determining factor for the change? Oh lord has it?!! I am easily distracted by shiny, new promises and that is where research landed me. Given too many options and I’ll forever struggle. I like a little bit of everything but my why behind blogging, in general, has stayed the same. From time to time I add things, take ’em away, quit, pursue but inevitably, my purpose is for others to know that they are not alone and I emphasize the importance of sharing your story whether that be in a journal or a blog, regardless, do not allow someone else to say who you are/were. You tell it!!!
  • What determines your measure of success as far as blogging is concerned? I have to agree with many of the bloggers who participated in this series of questions and say it is the interaction with others in the community. The feedback, encouragement, and engagement are far more rewarding than any number will ever be.

I cannot figure out why the above text, some of it, stays high lit. In order for it to be bold or italicized, I highlight it and click the b or the I. The first question and answer worked perfectly but the others…I’m over trying to correct so I will publish. I noticed it did this in last week’s answer section as well. Any suggestions or solutions? I am all ears!

Please Excuse the Mess

Mental Health & Recovery
Revenge of Eve Logo

As some of you may know, R.O.E. is undergoing some growing pains – most effected by these adjustments is the design. Originally I warned that I would not be investing the time into redesigning because it is likely things will soon change. What I have privately decided is to take it easy on the blogging front over the summer but also, I cannot allow my space to look ugly. Lol…but seriously. There is no way I can click on this site and be proud of any of the content when the photo sizes are customized to suite a premium theme when I have opted for the free site for the time being. I cannot do it. I also will not fret about having everything changed in a set amount of time.

The photo above is my new logo and I love it. I will be making some adjustments to it by trying to remove the glare from the metallic letters but until then, here it is!!


Tell me whatcha think!


I have shifted most of my focus to preserving and enjoying life as it happens. I have been very fortunate in my recovery and I am grateful for that but not long ago I was taken back to a place I never thought I’d revisit. Not because I believed I was cured but because it slammed me against the wall with no mercy. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know something was brewing but I did not expect it to be as severe as it were.

In true Candace form, I looked for the lesson in the pain and boy were there a few this time!! One that I took away was: I have become so comfortable with seclusion that I am not living. Don’t get me wrong, I am comfortable because I truly love the things I spend my time doing these days but for my mental wellness, it is not healthy for me to constantly be alone. Granted my thinking has been minimal, I can still do some damage with my thinker if left to my own devices.

On my creative journey, I have noticed that inspiration for projects come when I am enjoying life at the moment instead of sitting at home searching for it. This is where I draw my creativity from and when I do the bare minimum of it, my creative well runs dry.

Please Excuse the Mess- Revenge of Eve

Having reconnected with my best friend (more on that later) I see a summer spent preparing (my) Kid for her senior year and helping my bestie with her four. This summer marks the second year that we all have not attended a music festival and we are all feeling it!

Being a single parent to four wild children that range in age from 14 – almost 5, I’d say she has her hands full. When a mutual friend reached out to me and insisted I check on her, I made the decision to express the pain I’ve felt from the two years of separation as well as why I had to step away. We cried and as always I devised a plan. One that we will carry out over the summer together.

We have a huge task ahead of us but I know that if we are consistent, it will be successful. I had reached a segment of my recovery where I had to step away from her to continue my journey but in doing so I carried guilt. One that wasn’t allowing me to progress rather contributed to my last breakdown. We have survived this life as one and I refuse to leave her behind to defend for herself and her four rugrats alone. I made it clear to her that I cannot and will not do so but she has to do her part because I can’t do it for her. She agreed. We cried, hugged and now comes time for some serious scheduling and discipline because her children are like ferell children doing as they please and running her home rampid with disrespect and terrible attitudes.

Today (yesterday) is the first day of summer here in NorthWest Louisiana and I am about to put action to a dream plan. I will not be posting verbatim my daily rigamarole but I will keep a notebook and a log. This is to serve as a record keeper for what worked and what didn’t. If you are curious about this project and want to receive progress updates, subscribe to receive theGarden in your inbox!

I am not taking on any projects that go outside of what my focus is. I’ve actually a few things in the works but I’m not going to speak on them because that’s when I place unnecessary pressure on myself and end up failing every single time. Things are looking up and I have no expectations attached. I want to laugh, love and live for crying out loud. That’s it! And those are the three things I am working towards these days, how about you?

A Glimpse of the Light

Personal Growth & Goals
Revenge of Eve

Beginning

I am beginning to notice the closer I inch towards peace, the pain tries to pull me back.

The teen I became screams from within. She feels deep rejection when I shove her back down. I’ve not ever tried to hide her but she is only seen if I allow. She craves the attention of a boy. But that has gotten her nowhere. I love her yet must let her lie. And with her… my attraction to rejection must die.

I am not ashamed of her. I do not blame her. I want nothing more than for her to grow but…I must let her go. She tugs from within begging to roam free. But she doesn’t realize she was constructed out of necessity. No longer is she my priority. I seek the youngest of me.

She who was first in line. First to be criticized. Ostracized. Demoralized. Characterized and cast aside. It is her the layers protect. Finding and loving her is my life’s project. Hidden beneath the ashes of self-hate, guilt, shame, confusion, rejection…she wait. An innocence and forgiveness is all she has to offer for she knew no better.

I do not want to part with who I chose to become, without them, I’d never made it this far. I wish to respect and love all of me. Just because. If only others who have no choice but to be in my life (temporarily – one year count down began in February) could just lay them to rest, I can reach my best. But…what a shame. Belittling me to elevate yourself stands for nothing-surely no gain. It doesn’t work that way. A one-sided battle is being fought. I surrendered so long ago.

I can only imagine, that at my best, I pose a threat.

A woman awaits to emerge. She’s kind and gentle yet firm in her boundaries. She finds acceptance in peace. She refuses to play guilty or the victim role. She knows that who she is is enough. Her story is full mistakes that caused pain for her to share wisdom only experience can obtain. Accept her or walk away.

A healthy version of myself is someone I have not met. The great thing about her is that I place no limits nor do I have expectations set.

S.Y.K

Personal Growth & Goals
Revenge of Eve

Guess what today is…..

It’s MONDAY!!! YAY

And the crowd goes wild..

Hopefully, you’ve realized such because, by the time this post is published, the work day will be ending 🙂

It’s none other than you know who – Candace – here for your weekly dose of So You Know. Never participated? Never fear, the guidelines are posted each week. Ready? Ok, good… Here we go…

  • Every Monday I will ask 1-5 questions.
  • You can answer all or just a few
  • Topics range from surface, general topics all the way to in-depth personal topics.
  • To participate you can either answer in the comment section below or create a post on your site and link back to the week’s S.Y.K. post. Don’t know how to link back? Chat with me and I’ll explain how.
  • Last but certainly not least – be honest!

The purpose of S.Y.K. is to give your readers insight to the person behind the blog ❤

As for my answers… you will find my answers below the week’s questions from the previous week’s questions.

Easy enough, right?!



  1. Do you see a therapist? If so, how does doing so influence your life?
  2. What is your favorite part of adulthood? Your least favorite (besides bills)?
  3. Are the government officials of your country trustworthy?
  4. How important, scale of 1-10, are leprechauns in the evolution of humans? 1-of least importance 10-required

That’s all of this weeks version of So You Know and below are my answers from last weeks questions. * read with caution – trigger warning – talk of suicide

How was your weekend? Honestly. I am writing this the same day last weeks so you know goes live and my weekend has been hell. I came close to committing suicide, I….realized the truth in the saying “we are not our thoughts” and it has impacted me.

Describe the clothes you are wearing now. Is this your normal Monday attire? My normal Monday attire is the most comfortable, stay at home and relax type of outfit imaginable.

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Do you work a 9-5 job? No, I do not. I work the weekends, holidays, and early in the morning. On average I have two/three days off a week. My job is physically demanding and is reaching the point that I prepare to change careers.

Who do you look like, your Ma or your dad? My dad. Blah.

A Little Diddy for Mom’s

Life & Relationships

Revenge of Eve

Hold and cuddle them while you can.

Before you know it, it is you they cannot stand.

Wipe their noses and butts,

Help them out of ruts,

Watch as they drive you nuts!

Eyes that once glowed with pride

Go on to swollen and full of tears.

Before you know it, you question

“What happened to all those years?”

You do your best not to pass on your fears.

You give them room to grow.

But we aren’t taught how to cope when our daughter becomes a ho

Or our son an abusive asshole

Or a drug addict,

Or Gay

But, HEY! At least you get ONE day!

So to all the mothers out there…

Don’t think you are alone in a world of perfect moms because none of us have it figured out. All you can do is be the best version of yourself and if anyone wants to judge you for that, fuck them, wink back.

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5.6.19

Life & Relationships

I’m done with role play.

Either accept me

Or walk away.

I will no longer coddle

Or cater

And say,

I’m sorry,

later.

I am setting

And

Respecting this boundary

And if you take this personal,

That’s on you.

I hate to sound

Like a cold-hearted

Bitch.

No longer will I claim

Bipolar, alcoholic, introvert,

addict, …bitch,

….I could go on

But instead, I

will move forward.

With or without you

that’s up to you.


I am just a girl

Who wants to

be…

herself.

To…

Believe in herself.

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5.5.19

Mental Health & Recovery
revenge of eve

It’s coming soon

It’d be easier if I let it

But you see

That’s the problem.

I have some control

And give me any,

I take it all

by

holding shit up.

Why can’t I just let things

just be.

And go naturally.

Just be,

Candace Lynne,

Just

Be.

It’s World Stationery Day!

Creative & Collective

What kind of #stationeryaddict would I be if I didn’t celebrate #worldstationeryday?

If I had my own brick and mortar store I would celebrate the day surrounded by beautiful stationery…

OH wait!!

I do that already!!

Revenge of Eve

Thoughts of the Future

The infamous Stationery Show in London gives me #goals. I hope to (one day) walk around and feel the different textures of paper, see the new product lines of my favorite stationery designers, and most of all to stock up on more notebooks!! (Of course, after I achieve what I have set out over the next five years).

My love for stationery overflows into desk accessories and I’ve never worked at a desk in my life😂. But if I did…you can bet it would be the prettiest, cleanest white and gold desk you’ve ever seen. I vision it now:

A gold stapler

A 24karat gold block as my paperweight.

All white pens, pencils, and notebook covers. I would throw in a few gold pens.

Gold paper clips. Jumbo to a mini in size.

My charging port area would be set up with a huge comfy gold, leather, oversized chair adorned with a white sequence pillow and a fluffy white, long pillow.

The chargers and cords would be gold and my laptop alternating gold and white stripes.

My office chair would be a metallic gold while my desk, a crisp white.

Pictures hanging throughout the space that is simple and singular in design.

Everywhere gold and white intricate frames, some small and some big. No pics occupy the frames. Instead, beautiful papers that deserve to be framed.

I would have an adjacent desk that is black with gold drawer pulls and white front faced drawers. There would be something white and abstract that displays an art form on my desk.

…….

No, I’ve never thought about what my office would look like 😂😂😂


Do You have a desk job? Is your desk a mess or nice and organized? If you have an office, share with me how it is decorated. I would love to hear about it!!


I started a post about yesterdays # put I didn’t finish it because… who the hell knows why but I didn’t. This post is being published a bit later than my normal but what the hell? It’s all good in tha hood.

Revenge of Eve

#penandpencils

I will share with you my favorite brand of pen and that is Sigma Micron micro pigmented artists pens. These pricey archival ink pens are worth every cent. The words you string together will be forever when using them. Each time I write something I want to last, in terms of actual documenting, I use these to ensure the life of my words live on.

Do you have a favorite brand of pen or do you use a particular ink tip?

I hope today brought smiles and laughter in your lives and for tomorrow,

I’ll deal with that when it gets here.

Ta-ta,