revenge of eve-letter143

6.2.19

Personal Growth & Goals

The first week of summer comes to an end today and I must say it has been enjoyable. The quality time spent with my daughter is priceless and watching her develop a work ethic is admirable. Everything went as smooth as possible and I look forward to the next week she is here. We have a goal set to work toward as a reward for our hard work. We will reap its benefits early October and it will be a memory making time to be had. I look forward to it.

Things with myself are taking a turn for the better as I have opened myself to the possibilities of living not existing. I see positive changes on the horizon and even a possibility for happiness – one that I’ve never had.

Today I love the person I am becoming and I have faith in her and her ideas.

Presenting-An Introduction-Revenge of Eve

An Introduction

Louisiana Love, R.O.E. Need To Know

The final!

Or is it???

In an effort to keep my insanely awesome, smart, and talented readers informed {and myself organized} I introduce categories as they debut.

My original intentions were to have a few categories that evolve with my site and if I am correct today’s category makes # 9 on R.O.E. For all intents and purposes I wanted to have a formal description for when I describe my idea of an unconventional lifestyle niche. What better way than using R.O.E.’s categories to do so?!

There has been one category introduced that has not had a published post. Ma & Me is an essential category in my life but because of recent conflict, I have yet to have something worth writing. Sure, I could have published a many posts bitching and complaining but that doesn’t help me to resolve the conflicts when they arise. We are working through things the only way we know how but I will say this…my approach has been significantly different this go round.

Could this mean what I think it means?? Am I growing up?


Each day I am able to recognize growth in myself. Whether this is in my interpersonal relationships, the relationship I have with myself, or in general…I can see it. I mean…I don’t mean to toot my own horn but its time I give myself credit because that is part of my growth as well. I also give credit where credit is due.

Because of You

I have the courage to fight.

Because of y’all, I see potential.

And best of all, because of y’all,

I believe I’m worth it because ya know what??? I’m not so bad after all.

When I first began Revenge of Eve my tagline was:

On a journey guided by a broken compass.

And that couldn’t be any truer but I embrace that now. I know that if I make a mistake, that doesn’t make me a mistake. I know that getting off track doesn’t mean all of my efforts are a waste, that is part of the journey.

These days I am much easier on myself and I also congratulate myself for a job well done. I never knew this to be possible but enough about how wonderful I am…😂


Depending on how long you have been following my fumbles you may or may not be aware that I live in Louisiana. The boot state at the bottom of the map (United States). While my state may not rank in the top 10 for highest test scores or best places to visit, it ranks #1 in my eyes. Sure, collectively we can improve but when it comes to culture, food, and fun – we outrank any state!!

Revenge of Eve

Adding Louisiana Love as a category to R.O.E. allows me to highlight the things I love about my home state, learn some new stuff and share some interesting facts with y’all!

I can barely contain my excitement!!

Pssst…be on the look out for the first post in this category!

Revenge of Eve

S.Y.K

Holiday Greetings

So You Know

S.Y.K.

Revenge of Eve

YO, Yo, Yo! It’s our favorite day of the week but this Monday is different because all most of my lovely followers are off for Memorial Day!! Gotta love a holiday weekend 🙂

– Happy Memorial Day –

Monday just happens to be my day off and it is no surprise it is my fave. The bonus is learning about fellow bloggers through the series S.Y.K.!

If you aren’t familiar with how this works, just follow a few simple steps and give your readers insight into the person behind the scenes – YOU!


  • Answer a few question by creating a post on your site or you can answer in the comment section below. Answer all or a few, its up to you.
  • If you create a post, link back to this week’s S.Y.K. post. Don’t know how? Let’s chat and I’ll walk you through it.
  • My only request is that you be honest with your answers.
  • Have fun. Be silly or serious – whichever fits the tone of your site
  • Be you because that’s who we want to learn about.

This Week’s Questions

  1. What is your favorite part of summer?
  2. Do you swim in bodies of water that are questionable? Like where you cannot see the bottom – lakes, ponds, the ocean… if so, what’s is your fear in doing so?
  3. What is the average temperature (Fahrenheit) of summer in your area?
  4. Do you have access to a pool? If so, is it your own private pool or a complex pool?
  5. What ocean is closest to you?

See, that wasn’t so bad! I can’t wait to read your answers and pin your location on a map that I have decided to keep close by to have a visual of where my blogging friends are located.


So You Know- Revenge of Eve
So You Know

My answers to last week’s questions:

  • How long have you blogged? What is the anniversary? I began blogging on July 15, 2017. I established my site on the 30th of May but had no clue what I was doing and so it sat for a little over a month before I decided to revisit it. I consider the 15th of July the anniversary of R.O.E.
  • What was your original purpose for beginning a blog? To be the author of my story. I had met a customer whose wife died from bulimia and when I asked about her, expecting him to tell a story related to her personality, he told a vague life story that did her no justice. He told the story of a woman abandoned by man and taken over by disease. In that very moment, I made the decision to share my story. It is one of struggle but it is mine. The efforts, the setbacks, and the victories all belong to me.
  • Did you research about blogging before establishing your own? None whatsoever and I am so glad that I did not. I would’ve never started. After a year of blindly blogging, I decided to search for blogging tips on Pinterest and let me tell ya…information overload. Too much out there. I am grateful I am self-taught because that is something I am proud of and no one can take it from me.
  • Has your purpose evolved or changed directions? If so, what was the determining factor for the change? Oh lord has it?!! I am easily distracted by shiny, new promises and that is where research landed me. Given too many options and I’ll forever struggle. I like a little bit of everything but my why behind blogging, in general, has stayed the same. From time to time I add things, take ’em away, quit, pursue but inevitably, my purpose is for others to know that they are not alone and I emphasize the importance of sharing your story whether that be in a journal or a blog, regardless, do not allow someone else to say who you are/were. You tell it!!!
  • What determines your measure of success as far as blogging is concerned? I have to agree with many of the bloggers who participated in this series of questions and say it is the interaction with others in the community. The feedback, encouragement, and engagement are far more rewarding than any number will ever be.

I cannot figure out why the above text, some of it, stays high lit. In order for it to be bold or italicized, I highlight it and click the b or the I. The first question and answer worked perfectly but the others…I’m over trying to correct so I will publish. I noticed it did this in last week’s answer section as well. Any suggestions or solutions? I am all ears!

5.19.19

Mental Health & Recovery
revenge of eve

Waging War

Her words

her ammo.

Pain

her battle.

Branding her

war’s cattle.

The depth of

wounds

sear her soul.

Armor so heavy,

slicing her

flesh.

Onlookers

smell

defeat

without

a second

glance.

A woman

forced

to war,

as society

cast stones.

Fatigue she wears

to honor

her

struggle.

She fight

to earn a spot.

To hold her space

in this

fucked up

place.

So You Know (S.Y.K.)

Personal Growth & Goals

S.Y.K.

So You Know is a weekly series of random questions meant to give the reader insight into the blogger behind the screen. Participation is easy!! Just answer a few or all of the questions below in the comment section or publish your own post. Don’t forget to pingback to this weeks post so I can check out your answers.

See? Easy, peasy!!

So You Know- Revenge of Eve
So You Know
– Not sure how to create a pingback link? That’s okay!! Chat with me and I’ll walk you through it –

This Week’s Questions

  • How long have you blogged? What is the anniversary?
  • What was your original purpose for beginning a blog?
  • Did you research about blogging before establishing your own?
  • Has your purpose evolved or changed directions? If so, what was the determining factor for the change?
  • What determines your measure of success as far as blogging is concerned?

My answers to last week’s S.Y.K.

  1. Do you see a therapist? If so, how does doing so influence your life? I have recently began seeing a therapist, again. My track record with them has been 2 for 5..and I am on the 2 of the five. This is my time seeing a therapist in private practice. All of the one’s prior have been in a clinic setting and were seen on an emergency basis. I was in crisis when I search for therapist who takes my insurance and I am extremely lucky to have clicked on the one I did. We have only had one session but I already know she’s the one for me. She was sent to me for sure!!! Not sure why but I’ve never disclosed all of my “ugly” to my therapist and yet when I sat with her, it all came gushing out. Even the things I’ve not ever said. For the times that I’ve had success with my therapist, the impact has been rewarding and validating.
  2. What is your favorite part of adulthood? Your least favorite (besides bills)? I suppose the only joy in adulthood for myself is being able to say that I am an adult although I do not feel like one. The freedom of it is nice but the extent in which I feel free is limited because I live with my Ma. It is only recently that I’ve began respecting her home as a place to live. Previously I treated it as a hotel of sorts. I would stay out with friends all night only coming here to shower. I have lived with her and my sister off and on my entire life yet I never “lived” with them. I never fully unpacked my belongings or stayed around long enough to have family time. I would come and go with my hours of operation opposite of theirs. During the school year my hours would be more predictable due to being on my daughter’s schedule.
  3. Are the government officials of your country trustworthy? I pled the fifth. I have no opinions when it comes to politics but I will say Louisiana is known for its crooked politicians.
  4. How important, scale of 1-10, are leprechauns in the evolution of humans? 1-of least importance 10-required Being that I am a second generation immigrant, my dad is from Belfast, I would say 10. Without those wee fellas I am afraid there would be no me!!

R.O.E. 411

R.O.E. Need To Know

Last month I thought my WordPress plan was set to renew but that is only done when you have a card on file. My plan wasn’t due to expire until the 30th of May and while I had the money to renew last month, I decided not too for a few reasons.

Revenge of Eve
  • I am unsure of which plan will best suit my needs for the next twelve months
  • I have not decided on my set plan of attack for selling my memory keeping journals and journaling packets
  • I haven’t weighed my options about the benefits of having a paid for plan verses a free site considering I do not have a plan mapped out for selling things online
  • I have missed too much work to invest in something without seeing a return immediately
  • My only fret is that my design layout will be affected and I am not so certain I will invest the time to get it how I want it due to when I do decide having to invest the time on the new site
  • I have stepped back from blogging and reading blogs daily to avoid burnout
  • My personal life needs attention
  • The domain remains mine because it was purchased separately and at a later date from the plan so I do not fear the loss of it
  • I want to be more intentional with all I do from here on out
  • Direction, routine, and scheduling are things high on my short list of priorities and sticking to them is my biggest priority
  • A free site is suitable for the time being and forces me to establish an action plan in regards to my desires to work from home
  • I am unsure if I want to air my personal life in the same space I want to develop a professional relationship with customers
  • I may use a free site for personal and launch a professional site using a paid for site…the problem there lies not being able to transfer my following to my business site but having my followers on my free site allows them the choice to follow if my business is targeted at their individual interests
  • I’ve attempted operating two sites before and one suffered and the other never quite took off but in comparison to beginning my first site, it did well
  • I do not want to abandon my R.O.E. as my web persona but I also want to be respected professionaly
  • I have no clue what direction I want to go in professionally speaking
  • I am working on a few projects so my time is limited

Did I say a few reasons? Lol… It’s more than a few and I need more time to sort things out. The purpose of this post was to a. receive feedback and suggestions from my loyal followers b. to have my thoughts/questions/concerns listed out for reference c. to inform y’all that the overall design of R.O.E. is soon to change due to the fact that final decisions have not been made. Free themes are limited to chose from and if I am honest, I’m not pressuring myself to invest the time it takes to design a website without knowing my next move. If you have any insight into the operations of the WordPress business plan, Etsy, or Shopify please let me know your experience in the comments. Or do you use a self-hosted platform? If so, how much behind the scenes work is required? It is difficult and much more time consuming? Any feedback is great feedback!!

Revenge of Eve

S.Y.K

Personal Growth & Goals
Revenge of Eve

Guess what today is…..

It’s MONDAY!!! YAY

And the crowd goes wild..

Hopefully, you’ve realized such because, by the time this post is published, the work day will be ending 🙂

It’s none other than you know who – Candace – here for your weekly dose of So You Know. Never participated? Never fear, the guidelines are posted each week. Ready? Ok, good… Here we go…

  • Every Monday I will ask 1-5 questions.
  • You can answer all or just a few
  • Topics range from surface, general topics all the way to in-depth personal topics.
  • To participate you can either answer in the comment section below or create a post on your site and link back to the week’s S.Y.K. post. Don’t know how to link back? Chat with me and I’ll explain how.
  • Last but certainly not least – be honest!

The purpose of S.Y.K. is to give your readers insight to the person behind the blog ❤

As for my answers… you will find my answers below the week’s questions from the previous week’s questions.

Easy enough, right?!



  1. Do you see a therapist? If so, how does doing so influence your life?
  2. What is your favorite part of adulthood? Your least favorite (besides bills)?
  3. Are the government officials of your country trustworthy?
  4. How important, scale of 1-10, are leprechauns in the evolution of humans? 1-of least importance 10-required

That’s all of this weeks version of So You Know and below are my answers from last weeks questions. * read with caution – trigger warning – talk of suicide

How was your weekend? Honestly. I am writing this the same day last weeks so you know goes live and my weekend has been hell. I came close to committing suicide, I….realized the truth in the saying “we are not our thoughts” and it has impacted me.

Describe the clothes you are wearing now. Is this your normal Monday attire? My normal Monday attire is the most comfortable, stay at home and relax type of outfit imaginable.

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Do you work a 9-5 job? No, I do not. I work the weekends, holidays, and early in the morning. On average I have two/three days off a week. My job is physically demanding and is reaching the point that I prepare to change careers.

Who do you look like, your Ma or your dad? My dad. Blah.

A Little Diddy for Mom’s

Life & Relationships

Revenge of Eve

Hold and cuddle them while you can.

Before you know it, it is you they cannot stand.

Wipe their noses and butts,

Help them out of ruts,

Watch as they drive you nuts!

Eyes that once glowed with pride

Go on to swollen and full of tears.

Before you know it, you question

“What happened to all those years?”

You do your best not to pass on your fears.

You give them room to grow.

But we aren’t taught how to cope when our daughter becomes a ho

Or our son an abusive asshole

Or a drug addict,

Or Gay

But, HEY! At least you get ONE day!

So to all the mothers out there…

Don’t think you are alone in a world of perfect moms because none of us have it figured out. All you can do is be the best version of yourself and if anyone wants to judge you for that, fuck them, wink back.

Writing Myself Well

Mental Health & Recovery

I’m Not Well

That is the most honest statement I’ve written. I am not well. It is taking everything in me at the moment to type these words. What happened? Nothing specifically but enough to leave me in my bed going on a week now. This post won’t be full of frill or begging for sympathy. I am just curious if it is possible to write myself well.

What does that mean? I’m not sure but I do know I love my blog and this community. I apologize for not responding to any of the comments and I will get to that soon. Currently, my hands shake as I type and I want to close my laptop. I may. I may not.  I don’t know what to say. I am learning that just because I do not want to be bipolar, does not make me not bipolar.

I’ve had a manic episode for approximately nine months now. That’s a long time to be up and my plan is to not be down that long. But here’s the catch. I don’t have a plan. Oh but wait! I am working on one. I see a new counselor on Monday. I am here, writing and I plan to touch base at least once a day. What I write is all dependant on how I feel. I will try to be social but at this point, no promises. I consume myself with others as a distraction from working on myself. I’ve said this for years but the reality of it has slapped me in the face. It hurts. I am hurting.

What does writing myself well mean? I don’t know but I am at the point I will try anything. Over the past two years, I have slowly come to understand that I am worthy of life. Even typing that confuses me because I have learned it but find it hard to believe 100%. Who determines…I have a million questions that will never be answered. I’m not hoing to waste anymore time on those. I want to be better.

I’ll admit there have been times when being sick was easier than putting in the work it takes to get well but that is not the case this go ’round. This time is different. What’s even harder for me to understand is the number of people who believe that being this way is a choice. Why on Earth would anyone choose to live this way? How is this my fault? How do I stop it? I’d rather not exist but instead, I have this and a life that I have been given. For what I have yet to discover. But I, like you, have a purpose.

Revenge of Eve

I Chose Life

Mental Health & Recovery

Today I was on the verge.

The verge of suicide.

I wrote my note.

I looked for the gun –

It wasn’t there.

Luck?

I’ll never know.

It was the calmest I’ve been in a while and even I commented such, out loud.

My guardians, I called upon.

One by name.

A decision was made

No bother to reach out.

Attention is all that would stand to gain.

I sent my I Love You’s to the four that matter.

None of this fuck’n matters

Replays over and over in my head.

The realization that I’ve played a role, one assigned to me, is a harsh reality.

Why wouldn’t they give me a glamorous one?

There is no time for blame.

Ironically, those who ask

What’s wrong

are the ones that aren’t ready to see their part in your shame.

Expectations to be a no-body carries a weight.

One that I must shake,

For my life is at stake.