I’m in the mood to say some shit people don’t say. That usually makes for an interesting day. If you’re a man, avoid me (my bad fellas).
And while this transition may be painful I’ve realized where the struggle lies. I am letting go of the me I built to protect myself, the only me I know. I am learning to control myself. Not the things around me.
Call it 40, or whatever you’d like but I know for me, it’s awkward as fuck. I don’t know if you realize what I just said in that first paragraph but that shit is A LOT
I am ashamed to be myself and that is the damage done by my father wanting me to be someone I’m not. These revelations are coming to me in waves. And guess what?? I’m not drowning. Maybe I’m floating but so what, I’m aware, learning, growing and giving. I don’t want to resort to being a cold-hearted bitch because that’s not me so I’ve decided to do for those who are unable to do for themselves. Help them to believe in themselves. Give those a chance that others dispose of. I will prevail from this darkness a stronger person than I went in and when I do, I will be ready to be used as the vessel I chose to be.
For the record, I didn’t feel like that was me speaking but with confidence I publish this post. Not as a warning but as a prediction.
Tonight I will lay my head for sleep in peace. I have shown acts of kindness that I once thought I was robbed of. I allowed someones emergency to be more important than mine and most importantly, I have been kind to myself. Nervous. But kind.
Coming into oneself isn’t done so without a battle. You have to fight for who you know you are or have the potential to be. Don’t allow someone to project their fears onto you. That is not you. That is them. And never shame yourself for the choices you have made. You made those because simply those were the best choice of your options.
Continue to be kind to yourself Candace Lynne. You have a lot to offer.
Well, we had a two slip draw and I figured we could add a bonus gift to the third leg drawn!! How about that?
The winner of Day Two of 2 days of giveaway is,
and the bonus prize package winner is
Casey, I will gather you some things and ship ’em your way!
Meg, I hope you enjoy your winnings from Day Two of 2 days of giveaway!! Please email me a shipping address for receiving your packages. All packages will be mailed August 15, 2019.
2 days of Giveaway
from Revenge of Eve!!
Behind the scenes things are heating up!! Day One Giveaway is a vintage themed giveaway with my personal art!!
Check back for Day Two’s giveaway theme 🙂
The prizes are piling up! Stay tuned for tomorrow because it is Day One!! The prizes will be shown all day with the winner announced at 6 pm Central U.S. time.
****This composition notebook will be given on Day Two of giveaway.****
–I apologize for any confusion–
Check back for more!! Giveaway Day One winner announced July 21, 2019 Central U.S. time 6 pm.
Working on Us is a community-building effort for starting the conversation. You are given the choice of two prompts; question(s) or photo.
- Write your own post and create a pingback to the original post here.
- There are no right or wrong answers. Write in any format you see fit. (Answer’s, fiction, non-fiction, poetry, poem, short prose…anything).
- You can do one or all prompts.
You have from July 17th. through to July 23rd to submit your entries.
- Please reblog the original post in order to spread more awareness.
- If you the blogger have a suggestion/question you want to ask in the future weeks, please submit them in the comment section of this post.
- Let’s see if we can get some men involved in this weeks prompts, your feelings a validated here too!
- Plus, as an added bonus, whoever responds to the following prompts will automatically be reblogged to promote your blog site!
~ 💚 ~
Week #7 (Delicate Topic) – Suicide Ideation
Prompt #1 Questions
- Have you ever experienced suicidal thoughts? Yes, sometimes daily
- Have you ever attempted suicide? Yes
- Were you ever hospitalized for a suicidal attempt and/or ideation? Yes, my first admission into the hospital was due to suicidal ideation
- When you were hospitalized, what was your experience like? I have never had a bad experience per se but I prefer maintaining stability outside of a hospital setting.
- Do you ever feel suicidal ideation since your release? Yes, often.
I won’t elaborate on this topic because I am in a different head space at the moment but it occurs, often and it’s unpleasant.
Yes, You Read That Right!
For my two year anniversary, I will host a 2-day giveaway. 🙂
If you enjoy paper, collage, and stationery, don’t miss these 2 days of giveaway!!
Sunday July 21 – July 22, 2019
Spread the word!! The more the merrier.
International entries accepted
Comment GIVEAWAY2 once you have followed your choice of platform
Subscribe to the elusive theGarden newsletter
Enter for a chance to win a collaged journal from Ace&Ko Creative!!
Also, you will receive a journaling packet stuffed with vintage ephemera, designer paper, embellishments, and a variety of images to use in your personal journal.
A surprise element or two may be thrown in for good measure 😉
This is my thank you for your support and cheers to two solid year’s of sharing my story!!
Prizes mailed to the winners August 15, 2019
The heat in Louisiana contributes to or is the root of, my SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Despite the temperature of 95 degrees, I dread August, I feel the most like myself today, than I have in three months. That’s a lovely feeling.
I appreciate days like today because I hold onto them. I know there is a way to a better position in life and I hope to achieve that within myself. The battle with me must cease soon because it no longer serves a purpose. It’s time I live to love and relax and stop. Pause. That was one of my words for entering 2019 and I’ve derailed but slowly I shall revive myself from the numbness. As only I can.
I give myself permission to lay in bed for the rest of the day and watch a movie or documentary – like I have done the past two days – without feeling guilty!!!