Presenting-An Introduction-Revenge of Eve

An Introduction

Louisiana Love, R.O.E. Need To Know

The final!

Or is it???

In an effort to keep my insanely awesome, smart, and talented readers informed {and myself organized} I introduce categories as they debut.

My original intentions were to have a few categories that evolve with my site and if I am correct today’s category makes # 9 on R.O.E. For all intents and purposes I wanted to have a formal description for when I describe my idea of an unconventional lifestyle niche. What better way than using R.O.E.’s categories to do so?!

There has been one category introduced that has not had a published post. Ma & Me is an essential category in my life but because of recent conflict, I have yet to have something worth writing. Sure, I could have published a many posts bitching and complaining but that doesn’t help me to resolve the conflicts when they arise. We are working through things the only way we know how but I will say this…my approach has been significantly different this go round.

Could this mean what I think it means?? Am I growing up?


Each day I am able to recognize growth in myself. Whether this is in my interpersonal relationships, the relationship I have with myself, or in general…I can see it. I mean…I don’t mean to toot my own horn but its time I give myself credit because that is part of my growth as well. I also give credit where credit is due.

Because of You

I have the courage to fight.

Because of y’all, I see potential.

And best of all, because of y’all,

I believe I’m worth it because ya know what??? I’m not so bad after all.

When I first began Revenge of Eve my tagline was:

On a journey guided by a broken compass.

And that couldn’t be any truer but I embrace that now. I know that if I make a mistake, that doesn’t make me a mistake. I know that getting off track doesn’t mean all of my efforts are a waste, that is part of the journey.

These days I am much easier on myself and I also congratulate myself for a job well done. I never knew this to be possible but enough about how wonderful I am…😂


Depending on how long you have been following my fumbles you may or may not be aware that I live in Louisiana. The boot state at the bottom of the map (United States). While my state may not rank in the top 10 for highest test scores or best places to visit, it ranks #1 in my eyes. Sure, collectively we can improve but when it comes to culture, food, and fun – we outrank any state!!

Revenge of Eve

Adding Louisiana Love as a category to R.O.E. allows me to highlight the things I love about my home state, learn some new stuff and share some interesting facts with y’all!

I can barely contain my excitement!!

Pssst…be on the look out for the first post in this category!

Revenge of Eve

Please Excuse the Mess

Mental Health & Recovery
Revenge of Eve Logo

As some of you may know, R.O.E. is undergoing some growing pains – most effected by these adjustments is the design. Originally I warned that I would not be investing the time into redesigning because it is likely things will soon change. What I have privately decided is to take it easy on the blogging front over the summer but also, I cannot allow my space to look ugly. Lol…but seriously. There is no way I can click on this site and be proud of any of the content when the photo sizes are customized to suite a premium theme when I have opted for the free site for the time being. I cannot do it. I also will not fret about having everything changed in a set amount of time.

The photo above is my new logo and I love it. I will be making some adjustments to it by trying to remove the glare from the metallic letters but until then, here it is!!


Tell me whatcha think!


I have shifted most of my focus to preserving and enjoying life as it happens. I have been very fortunate in my recovery and I am grateful for that but not long ago I was taken back to a place I never thought I’d revisit. Not because I believed I was cured but because it slammed me against the wall with no mercy. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know something was brewing but I did not expect it to be as severe as it were.

In true Candace form, I looked for the lesson in the pain and boy were there a few this time!! One that I took away was: I have become so comfortable with seclusion that I am not living. Don’t get me wrong, I am comfortable because I truly love the things I spend my time doing these days but for my mental wellness, it is not healthy for me to constantly be alone. Granted my thinking has been minimal, I can still do some damage with my thinker if left to my own devices.

On my creative journey, I have noticed that inspiration for projects come when I am enjoying life at the moment instead of sitting at home searching for it. This is where I draw my creativity from and when I do the bare minimum of it, my creative well runs dry.

Please Excuse the Mess- Revenge of Eve

Having reconnected with my best friend (more on that later) I see a summer spent preparing (my) Kid for her senior year and helping my bestie with her four. This summer marks the second year that we all have not attended a music festival and we are all feeling it!

Being a single parent to four wild children that range in age from 14 – almost 5, I’d say she has her hands full. When a mutual friend reached out to me and insisted I check on her, I made the decision to express the pain I’ve felt from the two years of separation as well as why I had to step away. We cried and as always I devised a plan. One that we will carry out over the summer together.

We have a huge task ahead of us but I know that if we are consistent, it will be successful. I had reached a segment of my recovery where I had to step away from her to continue my journey but in doing so I carried guilt. One that wasn’t allowing me to progress rather contributed to my last breakdown. We have survived this life as one and I refuse to leave her behind to defend for herself and her four rugrats alone. I made it clear to her that I cannot and will not do so but she has to do her part because I can’t do it for her. She agreed. We cried, hugged and now comes time for some serious scheduling and discipline because her children are like ferell children doing as they please and running her home rampid with disrespect and terrible attitudes.

Today (yesterday) is the first day of summer here in NorthWest Louisiana and I am about to put action to a dream plan. I will not be posting verbatim my daily rigamarole but I will keep a notebook and a log. This is to serve as a record keeper for what worked and what didn’t. If you are curious about this project and want to receive progress updates, subscribe to receive theGarden in your inbox!

I am not taking on any projects that go outside of what my focus is. I’ve actually a few things in the works but I’m not going to speak on them because that’s when I place unnecessary pressure on myself and end up failing every single time. Things are looking up and I have no expectations attached. I want to laugh, love and live for crying out loud. That’s it! And those are the three things I am working towards these days, how about you?

R.O.E. 411

R.O.E. Need To Know

Last month I thought my WordPress plan was set to renew but that is only done when you have a card on file. My plan wasn’t due to expire until the 30th of May and while I had the money to renew last month, I decided not too for a few reasons.

Revenge of Eve
  • I am unsure of which plan will best suit my needs for the next twelve months
  • I have not decided on my set plan of attack for selling my memory keeping journals and journaling packets
  • I haven’t weighed my options about the benefits of having a paid for plan verses a free site considering I do not have a plan mapped out for selling things online
  • I have missed too much work to invest in something without seeing a return immediately
  • My only fret is that my design layout will be affected and I am not so certain I will invest the time to get it how I want it due to when I do decide having to invest the time on the new site
  • I have stepped back from blogging and reading blogs daily to avoid burnout
  • My personal life needs attention
  • The domain remains mine because it was purchased separately and at a later date from the plan so I do not fear the loss of it
  • I want to be more intentional with all I do from here on out
  • Direction, routine, and scheduling are things high on my short list of priorities and sticking to them is my biggest priority
  • A free site is suitable for the time being and forces me to establish an action plan in regards to my desires to work from home
  • I am unsure if I want to air my personal life in the same space I want to develop a professional relationship with customers
  • I may use a free site for personal and launch a professional site using a paid for site…the problem there lies not being able to transfer my following to my business site but having my followers on my free site allows them the choice to follow if my business is targeted at their individual interests
  • I’ve attempted operating two sites before and one suffered and the other never quite took off but in comparison to beginning my first site, it did well
  • I do not want to abandon my R.O.E. as my web persona but I also want to be respected professionaly
  • I have no clue what direction I want to go in professionally speaking
  • I am working on a few projects so my time is limited

Did I say a few reasons? Lol… It’s more than a few and I need more time to sort things out. The purpose of this post was to a. receive feedback and suggestions from my loyal followers b. to have my thoughts/questions/concerns listed out for reference c. to inform y’all that the overall design of R.O.E. is soon to change due to the fact that final decisions have not been made. Free themes are limited to chose from and if I am honest, I’m not pressuring myself to invest the time it takes to design a website without knowing my next move. If you have any insight into the operations of the WordPress business plan, Etsy, or Shopify please let me know your experience in the comments. Or do you use a self-hosted platform? If so, how much behind the scenes work is required? It is difficult and much more time consuming? Any feedback is great feedback!!

Revenge of Eve

Using Stationery to Change My Relationship with April (the month)

Creative & Collective, Mental Health & Recovery, Personal Growth & Goals

It is no secret that April is a difficult month for me and has been as far back as I can remember. The tragic death, by suicide, of my boyfriend happened in April, my Aunt’s death anniversary is also in April…I’d rather stop there but if there were no more, those two are enough (there is more). My mental health has taken a turn for the worst with the arrival of Spring for the past four or five consecutive years adding to the depth of sadness already present.

Last year I prepared myself for April but there are things out of my control. The month wasn’t as bad, from what I can remember, except I cannot remember what it was I did to prepare. Needless to say, April didn’t start off good this year, at all. We are exactly a week in and I would rather turn my focus to what I love for the remainder of the month. It just so happens to be the month stationery lovers celebrate…. their love of stationery!! And guess who lllooooovvvvvessssssssss stationery????

ME!!!

Yup, that’s right, April is when the hashtags #natstatweek and #writingmatters invade social media. If you aren’t a fan of pretty paper or matching desk accessories, never fear, Candace is here!!!

Let me offer some basic information for those interested.

Stationery Lover’s Delight

use the following hashtags on Twitter or Instagram

National Stationery Week

#NatStatWeek falls the week of April 29-May 5th this year (2019). #worldstationeryday falls on May 1st this year and the day is boasted with the London Stationery Show. #Natstatweek was started in the UK for all of those who love stationery and the art of letter writing to celebrate all that is stationery…the hashtag was created to market the trend which caught on like wildfire! The week is planned with days of stationery related tasks that you can participate in and share across your social media platforms using the appropriate hashtags

Stationery Fun: hashtags & links

below are the related hashtags with links describing the days tasks. *denotes sponsored days

#natstatweek

*Day One: #paperchaseloveslists

*Day Two: #penandpencilday

Day Three: #stationerytheworldover

Day Four: #takeanoteday

*Day Five: #feelgoodfriday

Day Six: #stationeryshopsaturday

Day Seven: #sendaletterday

The campaign also promotes the importance of essential handwriting skills.

Revenge of Eve

With that being said, I will introduce to you all of the things that I love about stationery as well as some boring information to go along with it. From this day forward, I will approach the month of April as the month I can celebrate my love of designer paper, vintage paper, cute binders, pens…o.m.g….I love it all!!!–Instead of the month of tragedy as I see it now.


Below are the details of the day that plays over and over in my head, proceed with caution. As of today, I will no longer think of these details rather do something I am passionate about on his behalf.


Today, April 8th, is the anniversary of my boyfriends suicide and his honor I will change my perspective. It has been 24 years today. You would think having been so long ago that it would be easier and while the pain has lessened significantly, I can’t help to wonder where he’d be in the world today. It’s a sad situation because he reached out for help on Easter Sunday, at church, and was doubted for his ability or will to stop behaving “badly”. He was acting like an average teenager, drinking and smoking weed. That has had a huge impact on my opinion of the church ever since. He called me after leaving Sunday school in total disarray. He was hurt. Sad. He wanted to see me and I couldn’t because my parents were coming home from their vacation in Arkansas. Later that evening he met up with a friend, got shit faced drunk, went home and sat in the chair I had sat in the evening before eating dinner with him and his Ma (his mother was specific about that detail – she said because he had never sat there), argued with his mom because he was drunk, and when she went to her room – he shot himself in the head.

He truly loved me and only knew me a week. He asked me if I believed in love at first sight – I laughed and he said I was his love at first sight. I believed him. R.I.P Dusty Ard I love you

Revenge of Eve
Revenge of Eve

No. Hold-Up, Wait…

R.O.E. Need To Know

A New Day.

With new information…

Yesterday I published a post and turned my computer off out of shame.

I was quickly reminded that stress serves no purpose and I began working on an order Beckie has placed. Later in the evening I rebooted my computer with no expectations and a plan.

A plan you say??

Revenge of Eve

All the while I was crafting, my brain churned… “what can I do for those who donate?”. Allow me to clarify, please. It never crossed my mind to reach out because I think I write such engaging, evergreen content that my platform deserves a paid for plan. All I thought about was my followers yet the way I concluded the post, it seemed all I was concerned about was myself. I apologize.

In fact, I was in such a panic I didn’t stop to consider the possibility of y’all being transferred, again, back to a free site. So… needless to say when I logged back on, Ashley saved the day by bringing it to my attention that it may be possible to do so and guess what??? It is!! Yay!!! So beginning April 30, 2019, Revenge of Eve will look differently-design wise-and that’s ok. All that means is I can save for a business plan to include a link to my shop!

If I look at it positively I see…new place of my own, brand new shop for selling stuff and a new, more professional yet me (lol) website with a new amazing vibe!! I totally dig that.

Ok now the details are worked out….back on break I go. Want the fresh 411? Well? Click the button (as I dangle a clock on a chain side to side in front of you…)

Thanks for being awesome! xoxo ~

Revenge of Eve
letter143-Revenge of Eve

3.27.19

Mental Health & Recovery

Unnecessary Pressure

I am making the decision to free myself of the unnecessary pressure I place on myself. Too much, if not all, that I deal with is not necessary.


Revenge of Eve

I do not advance in life.

I do not become a better person.

Nothing is accomplished because of.

The results are not quicker.

The process doesn’t become easier.

I surely do not benefit.

There are no magical fairies.

From this moment forward, I vow to myself to keep it simple.

Everything!

Simple.

I will not overthink.

I will not look into my thoughts.

I will not pry.

I will simply mind my own business, think positively, and live a life of simplicity.

An Update

Personal Growth & Goals

Currently

I have entered a phase in my blogging career that I have not dealt with. Writing a post feels forced. It hasn’t come naturally in the last two weeks.


Since purchasing my domain I have been trying to develop, more or less, my writer’s voice. In relation to my most well-received posts, it is my personal posts that I receive the most responses. I attribute this to my loyal followers that share a genuine concern about my well being.

When I refer to developing my voice I am speaking in terms of not using the word I and also offering solutions to my reader’s problems. The only problem I am finding is my own. The one where I do not have a solution for others rather advice on what not to do.

This has brought me to a crossroad. 2019 is the year I discover who I am and I am finding blogging, in a form other than personal, is conflicting with my discovery. I find myself putting unnecessary pressure to present my material in a way that isn’t true to my style.

How ironic is that? While trying to love myself I continue trying to not be myself. It is showing up in different areas of my life. I read this great article that allowed me to see that while we may be focusing on one thing we may, in fact, be doing the opposite of that and become worse at it. Once I read this I completely related. To all of it.

I made it a point to not set any blogging goals for the year and as a way of distraction, I am trying to take on a new voice. That’s terrible and I am so glad I caught it when I did. Other things besides the rejection have shown up recently. I’m sure once those come full circle I will share.

I made it through a trying time of self-doubt and comparison and I have no doubt I will make it through this phase. I am happy to have been shown and more happy to have been open to receiving. I had no idea that all I asked for would just magically appear. The signs are there and it is up to me to pay attention. I will never improve if I do not seek the lesson in my pain.

Once again I do not know where to start but I will start by adding this to my list of things to work through with a counselor. I can easily be distracted by the problems of others but in 2019 I won’t be having it. All I want is to be a better person, whole and proud.

I have many great topics that I want to discuss but I am adding them to a list as well for a time when I can dedicate to doing them justice.

This weekend was a rough one with my daughter. She experienced her first full-on panic attack, at school. Immediately my protective nature kicked and I became offended because she didn’t contact me.

While I want to be there for her I am learning that unlike me, she has developed her coping skills. The sad truth is, she is more emotionally mature than I am. I am not ashamed of that. That’s life. Our life. We argued a little as teenage girls and their mother (who act like a teenager) do. I’m working on that too! One at a time! 😂

Something I am trying to do differently is to be easier on myself. I’ve shared that I internalize criticism and hold on to things said in an unhealthy manner. This leads to toxic self-talk which gets me nowhere. The idea that perfection exists is slowly but surely being smashed as I breeze through my days. Some days are better than others but for the most part, I have turned to laughter when I make a mistake. I laugh at myself and evaluate where I can make a change.

I find I need to set up a more organized system for this journey of self-discovery. My lists are in whichever notebook I can find at the moment. I will take today and use it to bring any list together and find them a home in one place. The year is only in its first month and I haven’t fallen behind on any task but getting a grip on any organizing will benefit me in the long run.

My main goal this week is to have a photo shoot with the products I have ready for sale. That was supposed to happen Saturday but due to a scheduling conflict, it didn’t happen. That about rounds it up. My life update in a pretty red bow. Do you have any go-to remedies when you feel as though you have nothing worthy of sharing? Do you laugh at your mistakes instead of beating yourself up? Am I doing anything right?


Let’s chat in the comments. I am taking any and all suggestions on how I can improve this self-discovery journey. Any books you would suggest that had life-changing effects, drop ’em in the comments.