4.19.19

I am ready to let go of the attachment

that has caused me to quit giving.

I am a giving person

and do so with thought

But

That’s stopped.

I am ready to rid myself of

the idea

I am not good enough.

I am.

I am ready to initiate change in my life

and

trust the outcome.

I have stopped trying to find

me

And now

Allowing it to be.

I am stepping from behind

what everyone expects,

including me;

Me to be.

Using Stationery to Change My Relationship with April (the month)

It is no secret that April is a difficult month for me and has been as far back as I can remember. The tragic death, by suicide, of my boyfriend happened in April, my Aunt’s death anniversary is also in April…I’d rather stop there but if there were no more, those two are enough (there is more). My mental health has taken a turn for the worst with the arrival of Spring for the past four or five consecutive years adding to the depth of sadness already present.

Last year I prepared myself for April but there are things out of my control. The month wasn’t as bad, from what I can remember, except I cannot remember what it was I did to prepare. Needless to say, April didn’t start off good this year, at all. We are exactly a week in and I would rather turn my focus to what I love for the remainder of the month. It just so happens to be the month stationery lovers celebrate…. their love of stationery!! And guess who lllooooovvvvvessssssssss stationery????

ME!!!

Yup, that’s right, April is when the hashtags #natstatweek and #writingmatters invade social media. If you aren’t a fan of pretty paper or matching desk accessories, never fear, Candace is here!!!

Let me offer some basic information for those interested.

Stationery Lover’s Delight

use the following hashtags on Twitter or Instagram

National Stationery Week

#NatStatWeek falls the week of April 29-May 5th this year (2019). #worldstationeryday falls on May 1st this year and the day is boasted with the London Stationery Show. #Natstatweek was started in the UK for all of those who love stationery and the art of letter writing to celebrate all that is stationery…the hashtag was created to market the trend which caught on like wildfire! The week is planned with days of stationery related tasks that you can participate in and share across your social media platforms using the appropriate hashtags

Stationery Fun: hashtags & links

below are the related hashtags with links describing the days tasks. *denotes sponsored days

#natstatweek

*Day One: #paperchaseloveslists

*Day Two: #penandpencilday

Day Three: #stationerytheworldover

Day Four: #takeanoteday

*Day Five: #feelgoodfriday

Day Six: #stationeryshopsaturday

Day Seven: #sendaletterday

The campaign also promotes the importance of essential handwriting skills.

Revenge of Eve

With that being said, I will introduce to you all of the things that I love about stationery as well as some boring information to go along with it. From this day forward, I will approach the month of April as the month I can celebrate my love of designer paper, vintage paper, cute binders, pens…o.m.g….I love it all!!!–Instead of the month of tragedy as I see it now.


Below are the details of the day that plays over and over in my head, proceed with caution. As of today, I will no longer think of these details rather do something I am passionate about on his behalf.


Today, April 8th, is the anniversary of my boyfriends suicide and his honor I will change my perspective. It has been 24 years today. You would think having been so long ago that it would be easier and while the pain has lessened significantly, I can’t help to wonder where he’d be in the world today. It’s a sad situation because he reached out for help on Easter Sunday, at church, and was doubted for his ability or will to stop behaving “badly”. He was acting like an average teenager, drinking and smoking weed. That has had a huge impact on my opinion of the church ever since. He called me after leaving Sunday school in total disarray. He was hurt. Sad. He wanted to see me and I couldn’t because my parents were coming home from their vacation in Arkansas. Later that evening he met up with a friend, got shit faced drunk, went home and sat in the chair I had sat in the evening before eating dinner with him and his Ma (his mother was specific about that detail – she said because he had never sat there), argued with his mom because he was drunk, and when she went to her room – he shot himself in the head.

He truly loved me and only knew me a week. He asked me if I believed in love at first sight – I laughed and he said I was his love at first sight. I believed him. R.I.P Dusty Ard I love you

Revenge of Eve