So You Know – S. Y. K.

It’s me again! And it’s Monday again… Booooooo! I’m back today with your friendly So You Know series and a little chit chat 🙂

Due to problems beyond my control this post will publish a day later than it was intended

Yesterday in the United States we celebrated Easter. I believe if you are Christian this holiday is universal (don’t quote me on that). Easter is my family’s favorite get together and this year’s events went wonderful! The kids enjoyed their bag’s full of goodies and the food was to die for.

Let’s roll out this week’s questions.

As with each S.Y.K. post, the guidelines first.


I like to keep it pretty simple around here so here are a few things to keep in mind while participating:

  • There are no right or wrong answers… Your answers = Your opinion = Your life
  • Answer a few or one, whatever you are comfortable with
  • Pingback to any S.Y.K. post
  • Use the hashtag #SYK to tag your post
  • Be real. If you feel a certain type of way, say it. You were asked your opinion (double dog dare ya!)

Extra info.

*A number of questions will be asked. At least 1, no more than 5.

*Questions will range in subject from cherries to prostitution.

*Participation will consist of you creating a post on your website, listing the questions and responding.

*Pingback to any SYK post

Don’t know how to create a pingback? Hit me up and I’ll tell ya how. It’s easy and everyone needs a little help here and there


Pretty easy, right? Give your readers a little insight to who you are and participate in S.Y.K every Monday!


Today’s Questions

  1. What is your favorite holiday?
  2. Are there family traditions that you continue each year?
  3. Have you started any new fun things that your family does each year as a tradition? If so, please share! (Family does not have to be by blood – close friends count too!)
  4. Do you remember how old you were when you discovered the holiday mascots (Easter bunny, Santa, etc) weren’t real? Got a story that goes along with this discovery? Share, please!
  5. Which is your least favorite holiday?

Last week’s Q’s and my A’s

  • Do you take responsibility for other people’s problems and/or emotions, unknowingly? I do and am trying to learn how not too. You can’t deny that energy exists and I pick up on people’s emotions through an energy field. This is commonly referred to as an empath. For myself, it is torcher. I cannot discern between mine and others and I go through phases where I can block from feeling others energy and phases where I cannot. As of late, I cannot. This has a bad impact on day to day life and I struggle keeping my head above water. I wake feeling a certain way and by time I have encountered two or three others, I process their feelings and make them my own. I do not feel responsible per se but I do feel it is hard to communicate if the energy is heavy.
  • When did you realize that this behavior was burdening you and stunting your growth? Was it a particular incident or did someone point it out that it isn’t your responsibility? I was told by a counselor that the way others feel about me is none of my business and it is a reflection of them, not of me. I took that and from there realized that I am not responsible for their feelings and also realized that doing so was negatively effecting me. This is when I put together the relation I have with energy and other people. Call me crazy but it isn’t anything I haven’t been called before.
  • Were you raised by giving parents or parents who gave only to throw it in your face later? I don’t think they ever gave only to throw it in my face but when it was/is convenient to apply guilt to a situation, it is definitely the go-to, ” after all I’ve done for you..”
  • Lastly, what are your opinions concerning parents being held responsible for their children’s actions? At what age are children to be held responsible for their own actions? Is this reflective of how you were raised or the opposite? In my opinion, children’s actions reflect that of their parents responses. But there is a responsibility as a parent to teach our children consequence. There is a grey area where teens are concerned because many children act on emotion. I think it is important to hold them responsible for their own actions from the moments they enter this world but as far as crimes are concerned, the laws should never bend to trial a child (17 and under) as an adult. Although the crime may be heinous, they should still be charged in the youth grouping. And as terrible as it would be to see my child suffer at the hands of another child, I am still more understanding of that verses an adult molesting a child.
  • When children act out it is because they seek attention. They find a way to make you respond and albeit negative or not, attention is attention. They are most likely to be experiencing difficult times at home or at school with their peers. Sometimes it’s hard to get kids to talk but if you watch them, you’ll discover what it is and from there it is the adults choice of how to guide them through those times. Children mimic adults and perhaps when they are acting out, we should look within ourselves and see what it is we are showing, not telling, them as their role models. My Ma was adamant when it came to respecting us as people and so I believe this to be a reflection of how I was raised. If you don’t like what you see in your child, maybe you should make some changes in your life. That’s what I had to do and it wasn’t easy but well worth it.

And that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!

What If?…

I wonder if…

I said all that came to mind,

Who my words would find.

Why am I notoriously behind?

Last in line.


Is it true that if you want something

You must let it go?

If that’s the case,

I want out of this rat race!

To live my life

At a sloths pace.


What type of being

Has no face?

A ghost?

An alien?

I wonder.

How come
our soul

Isn’t in control?

And.

Is free will

Hell?

Does time
eventually…

tell?

Without our souls,

Aren’t our bodies

Only a shell?


How come we never know if an event is traumatic,

Until it’s over?

Read that again.

Think about it.


What if…

instead of the epidermis,

We were encased in glass.

How long would you last?

Would you shatter?

To whom would it matter?


Who said, Mad Hatter?


Listen closely.

Children scream silently.

Watch them.

Most importantly,

Listen to them.

They are people too.

Who???

You!


Take a look at you.
Embrace what it is that
Is…
You.
I wonder what if
Don’t you
?

2.28.19

Momma’s baby,

As the last day of the month long celebration of your existence draws to a close, I can’t help but to feel a sense of relief. Not because I no longer want to celebrate you yet I fumbled with finding the words to aptly describe you. Words do no justice to the impact you have had on my life. You are more than words. You are love. Or what I know to be as love.

My interpretation of love was skewed until you graced my life. It still is a bit distorted but what your love has taught me is that love is not painful. The most valuable of lessons has been the love I deserve from myself. This isn’t something you have told me rather shown me. Your mere existence represents a love that is unconditional and honest. Your display of loving yourself has taught me that it is not selfish but necessary

I surprisingly found myself grappling with words for the month. I found that none measured up or lived up to your honor. I do not put you on a pedal stool to elevate you but to thank you. Thank you for being exactly who you are because who you are has been perfect for who I shall become


Revenge of Eve

Love, Your Mother ❤

All of My Days

All of my days-Revenge of Eve

Kobi Erynn

As time passes it becomes apparent that you were meant to be my only.

Because of you I never feel lonely.

It amazes me, your unconditional love.

Fallen on hard times, I wondered how I would rise above.

You have proven to me that I am worthy of.

Without knowing so you pushed me to be the me that I’ve longed to be.

And because of you, I am being set free.

You were sent to me for many reasons but the most important one was to teach me.

You teach me without being aware.

This knowledge cannot be compared.

A knowledge of motherhood

That only you could.

Each time I think of the ways, you brighten my days,

I am shown that you deserve much praise.

You have been a blessing to raise.

I promise to love you for all of my days.

💕

From Conception to Toddler

I keep racking my brain on ways to honor my daughter for the month of February and I seem to fall short on ideas.

So I figured I would make a list of my memories from her conception through her toddler years.

Naming her

When naming her, we decided early on that we liked the name, Kobe. And yes, because of Kobe Bryant. I knew that she had to have a name of Irish descent and Erin fit perfectly with Kobe. This name could be used for a male or female by changing the spelling.

During my pregnancy, we went back and forth but always found our way back to Kobi Erynn, with an I instead of an e and Erynn vs Erin. I’ve always had a knack for unique spellings.

When I found out that I would be induced I looked up birthdays of famous people on that date and low and behold, she shares a birthday with the late Bob Marley. Marley Brooke became an option as far as names go but inevitably when she was born, she was Kobi Erynn.

Her name means: finest grade-origin: Japanese(Kobe) of peace-origin: Irish (Erynn)

Other interesting decisions

While I was carrying my little bambino I decided there would be no pink in her assorted collage of life. I chose purple and yellow as the colors to theme her newborn life. Not intentionally because of the Lakers or LSU but that is what came to mind once that decision was made.

When she arrived much to my surprise she didn’t even weigh 6 pounds! So all of the clothes I had packed for her didn’t fit except ONE soft, powder pink sweet pea outfit that had a kitten on it. How did that sneak past my radar??? I’ll never know but as soon as we put it on her I fell in love with pink… For her anyway.

When it came time to do some shopping, pink it was!! We had to buy at least a few nighties and outfits due to her being so small but besides that, she was set until she was two on clothes. Mint green, yellow and pale colors look beautiful with her skin tone. She has a red undertone to her brown skin that comes from the Native American on both sides of our families.

From Conception to Toddler-Revenge of Eve

Toddler years

On Kids second birthday she got a big girl bed, a twin, with a hot pink comforter, bright flowers, and pillow shams. On this day she put on a pair of big girl panties and slept in her bed. She never once wet the bed!!

*funny puzzle that took 13 years to solve: She used to call a diaper a bop-a-net, said as I spelled it. None of us could figure out where she got the name bopanet so we just went along with it.  For years we tried to figure it out until one day I just so happened to be discussing her calling it that and when I said the word, it made sense….she was trying to say diaper wet!!! A light went off and it was solved, 13 years later!

She never wore a pull-up and never wet the bed. She did not like to be wet, ever. As soon as she figured out that getting a diaper meant she got changed, it was over. We went through so many diapers, it was a relief to put her in panties.

Always wearing cowboy “boops” and panties she pranced around and if she had on clothes, she had on heels. Lol. These little plastic heels, jelly-like, with a rubber section on the bottom to prevent sliding, with butterfly wings that form to make the toe section.

She had to have every color. Clear, pink, blue and purple. Lucky for me they were only $3. She wore them for almost three years. Each time she grew in size, we had to get new heels. She could run fast and stairs were no prob, you could hear her coming a mile away….click, click, click.

Water baby

At three months old, my best friends Mom blew in Kobi’s face and dunked her underwater. I couldn’t watch. Much to my surprise, she didn’t cry. From that moment on she has loved every second of being in the water. At eighteen months old she could swim without floaties.

She would jump off the diving board with me wading in front of the board. I never let her swim to me. She had to jump to me and then swim to the side with me close behind. This was to teach her to not depend on me being there. The rule was if she wanted to jump off the board without me there, she had to do so without floaties. The floaties were thrown out the summer after her turning two.!! People would stare in awe at her little legs as she jumped off the diving board and swam her little body to the side without supervision. I was there but I wasn’t in the water for her to jump too.

People would come up to me and ask how I did it and my response was I taught her not to fear the water, by laying her on her back, and how to kick, the rest, she did. One summer she was set on learning how to swim using above water strokes. She did it. All except the butterfly stroke.

From a very young age, I have watched her set her mind to do something and achieve it. Often times learning much quicker than I had imagined possible. This trait she has carried throughout her life. If she applies herself, she can conquer whatever it is she sets her mind too.

She makes it easy to be proud.

A Little Bit About This and That

Bonding

Often times the bond between mother and daughter is considered one of strain. All too often we hear of the arguments, attitude, and agitation that create stress for this feeble relationship. Teenage years is when most girls begin their menstrual cycle resulting in catastrophic, irrelevant emotional outburst. Ironically us women are similar to a gang. We cycle with the other women who are in our immediate circle after a short time of being around each other.

Check out Here’s the Plan, Man

A little about this and that- Revenge of Eve

No relationship is quite as primal as the one between a mother and her daughter. “It’s the original relationship, and it’s also a relationship that has been sentimentalized but not honored,” says Lee Sharkey, Ph.D., who directs the Women’s Studies program at the University of Maine at Farmington, where she teaches a popular course in mother-daughter relationships. “Women grow up and our energy is largely turned toward men, but the original love relationship is with a mother. If we as daughters don’t acknowledge that, we’re closing ourselves off from a great source of power and fulfillment and understanding of ourselves.

I would like to imagine that my daughter’s relationship with me is one based on respect, trust, and honesty, at least 85% of the time. Our personalities are complete opposites and I believe that to be why we are able to make life work the way we do. She (Kid) is much kinder, considerate, relaxed, and respectful than I ever was as a pre-teen-young adult. She favors her father’s demeanor. She is content by herself which was unheard of when I was her age.

Prior to my teenage years, I was self-reliant, self-entertained, and independent. Somewhere around middle school, I began seeking validation from my peers.  I strongly believe this is where I got lost in life.

This is the time of my daughter’s life when I realized it was time to get sober. The depression was in control and I was a shell. I believe everything happens for a reason and I feel in my heart this is when she needed her dad’s guidance more than mine, although it was not a planned decision.

Not only was she transitioning from living with her mother to living with her father, but she also had to transition from one school district to another.

A little about this and that- Revenge of Eve

One thing I pride myself on as a mother is encouraging my daughter to be herself. I never realized how stable she is in her being until she reached high school. Her friends will go out and drink, some smoke marijuana, and she is content sitting at home watching tv. Rarely will she ask to go do something but when she does, the answer is always yes… which leads to my weakness as a mother. I find it difficult to tell her no. In fact, I do not know if I have ever. Of course, if it is something that will harm her, I say no but if she outright asks for something from me, she’s going to get it. She knows it too. She is such a great teen that I feel as though she should be rewarded.


Personality


My daughter has a docile, quiet nature.  She is supportive of her friend’s struggles, always offering solid advice.  She isn’t one to tell you what you want to hear rather what needs to be said.  At times she can be timid.  She is patient and observant which allows her to form her own opinion.  I am not claiming that she is perfect but pretty damn close 😉

She is a great soccer player but it didn’t come easy for her.  She has put in work to get where she is.  She dedicated herself to it and has come far.  I would say that he is not a follower but not exactly a leader either.   She is somewhere in the middle.  Like a silent partner.  I don’t know how to explain it.  She is just laid back.

Physical

My daughter was a spitting image of her father but as she has gotten older her face is thinning out and she somewhat favors me.   She has my t-zone for sure.  She has a round face whereas I have an oval-shaped face.


I thought for sure she would tower over me but such is not the case.  I am 5’10 and she has stopped growing at a mere 5’6.  We know that she will not get any taller because she had to see a foot specialist and he told us her growth plate has closed.  Never did I imagine her being my sister’s height.

We are all guilty of preconceived notions of how or what our children will be like.  In my case, I was destined to have a disrespectful, brat when in fact I was blessed with an angel.  I suppose I am enough brat for the both of us.  She is her own person with her own opinions and beliefs.  Her father and I did one thing right and that was to raise a respectful, dignified young lady who loves herself.   And we didn’t do it alone.  There has been a community of friends that have had their hand in raising her.  She makes us all proud.


Make sure to look out for tomorrows post 🙂 And to my subscribers….. get ready because this week I will be sending out my first video!! I’ve just gotta record it …. lmao but no really!!

Gotta dash ~ I’m here if anyone needs me ~ always