Get Ready for 2 Days of Giveaway on R.O.E.!!

Creative & Collective, R.O.E. Need To Know

Yes, You Read That Right!

For my two year anniversary, I will host a 2-day giveaway. ๐Ÿ™‚

If you enjoy paper, collage, and stationery, don’t miss these 2 days of giveaway!!


Sunday July 21 – July 22, 2019


2days of giveaway-Revenge of Eve
Pin me!!

Spread the word!! The more the merrier.

International entries accepted


Requirements:

Follow me on Pinterest or Instagram

Comment GIVEAWAY2 once you have followed your choice of platform

Or

Subscribe to the elusive theGarden newsletter

theGarden monthly newsletter webgraphic

Collage journal with collaged entries by Candace
A collaged spread
A collaged spread

Enter for a chance to win a collaged journal from Ace&Ko Creative!!

Also, you will receive a journaling packet stuffed with vintage ephemera, designer paper, embellishments, and a variety of images to use in your personal journal.

A surprise element or two may be thrown in for good measure ๐Ÿ˜‰

This is my thank you for your support and cheers to two solid year’s of sharing my story!!

Prizes mailed to the winners August 15, 2019

revenge of eve-letter143

7.15.19

Personal Growth & Goals

On my two year blogging anniversary I question, “Can I recover?”.

But I will not ruminate on such thought because I am a warrior. I have no choice but to fight for myself. No one else will.

This too shall pass.

And when it does, I have learned and earned my growth.

That day is worth working towards.

Revenge of Eve

So You Know

Mental Health & Recovery

S.Y.K. is Bacccck!

The last two week’s there was no episode of S.Y.K. because, simply, life has been rough around these parts. In order to gain some normalcy, I figured I could start by publishing our favorite series of questions.

I hope you are excited ๐Ÿ™‚


So You Know (S.Y.K.)

Is a series of questions meant to bring the reader closer to their favorite bloggers. It’s easy to participate! Follow these simple guidelines:

Publish a post on your site answering this week’s questions.

Create a pingback to this week’s post. Don’t know how? Chat with me and I’ll explain.

Be honest!

See simple, right?


This week’s questions

  1. Do you take a vacation during the summer months? If so, what amount of time do you travel (days, weeks)?
  2. Do you meet up with family or friends at the destination?
  3. What has been your favorite destination spot?
  4. What has been your worst traveling experience?
  5. If you do not travel each summer, what do you do to escape your reality?

I hope that everyone is staying cool this summer. Summer vacation comes to an end in three short weeks and school begins. Time seems to fly by the older I get. My daughter and I are going camping in the upcoming weeks and I can not be more excited. I haven’t got away in two years and the effects of that are showing in my lack of fulfillment.

The increase in my meds is working in spurts so I know I am on the right track. I go for an evaluation next Wednesday with a possible increase. I am bothered by my position in life these days, as you all know, so I am looking for any glimmer of light. Thanks for all the encouraging words you share and thank you for being a source of positivity in my daily reading.

S.Y.K.-Revenge of Eve

July Journal Challenge Update

Creative & Collective

Progress small or large is progress, nonetheless

That’s right folks! I have a few entries completed in my #julyjournalchallenge and today I shall give y’all a peek!! Yay!



Challenge Chat

Before I begin, allow me to refer to the basics of this challenge. Initially, I had planned to create four individual inserts to record, plan, and create in. It just so happened that four wasn’t necessary.

If you haven’t a clue as to what I am talking about, refer to the original post, July Journal Challenge. You will find a more in-depth description.

I created a standard size insert and a passport insert. I then used a store bought calendar insert. This totals three inserts that were used to help me organize and promote creativity in my life. The two I created are my July insert and a writing insert (pictured below). The passport size insert is where I write life’s little synchronicity’s, ah ha moments or things I have tied together as a result of patterned behavior.

Left to right: cover, back cover, inside cover

The July insert is where I have been expressing my creativity and trying new things, exploring my own creativity. The goal in doing so is to build trust in my own ideas and assist in developing my style. Both inserts are being used for the July Journal Challenge prompts (below). The same goes for being used to record specific events that have happened this month.

Left to right: inside cover hidden quote, collage prompt, map pocket page with frame

July Journal Challenge-Revenge of Eve
L to R: Map pocket page draped over a journaling page, hidden journaling page with a tag, prompt completion of letter to self five years from now

When I created the list of prompts, I chose random ideas and typed ’em up. That became apparent the first time I sat down to create. But hey, the only way you learn is by jumping in! And so I did. I think randomness keeps it interesting but I also like to have more of a themed guide. I suppose I will figure it out as I go.

Blurred lines

Passport size writing journal (L to R) cover front, cover back

This month has been a pretty rough one and when that is the case, my focus is zilch, however, I am on an increased dose of the new medication- I start the new mg tomorrow….let’s hope it works. Lord knows I need something because the thoughts in this head have nooooo direction. They begin, the whole plan is thought through and after a nights rest, barely visited again ๐Ÿ˜ž (sigh). Example: I have 41 draft posts!?!?

top: inside cover with pocket bottom: inside pages using vintage and designer pages

I feel like I may be distancing myself too much from the habit of blogging. Writing is my chosen medium of art. Words do something for me that cannot be explained but I am also trying to explore other avenues of creativity and until I discover my style, I won’t be satisfied. I suppose its like finding your voice as a blogger/writer. Stepping out of my comfort zone is, well, stepping out of my comfort zone but I am enjoying myself. The lack of focus does get to me though. It’s frustrating.

I have so much I want to share but in an effort to keep some focus, I take photos and hope to remember the process so that I can eventually write a shitload of material. And I mean a shitload!! I would literally have content for a year if I went solely off the photos I’ve been snapping over the 14 months of my creative journey. Like probably daily material. I’ll bookmark that idea..lol.

As an addition to my creative skills, I’ve recently taught myself about using a scanner. Like… ok, where the hell was I when this brilliant technology was given to us?? Because ummmm, can you say addicted?!?!? Sheesh! I really have so much going on but the great thing is, it all revolves around paper. So that is a plus for me and y’all because guess what??? I will be having a nice giveaway soon!! Yay…oh, and fingers crossed, some digital products ๐Ÿ™‚ but I’m not going to spoil the surprises. Note to self: you should’ve put that in the newsletter you haven’t written in three months – gggrrrr. See! TOO MUCH! Anyone wanna be a virtual life assistant? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Not An Option

Mental Health & Recovery

An option or not?

Losing hope isn’t an option and yet it seems to be the first I let go of. I am worn out from trying to stay afloat. Complaining with no action is pity and that is where I am. I can’t seem to do anything about this phase and yet I am resisting it with all my might. I’m tired. Tired of bitching, tired of crying, tired of…life. My body is exhausted and my mind; blank. I do not know what to do next. I try to not focus on the shit storm that is my existence and yet that’s it. I vaguely remember my summers being this way but I have also been on antidepressants so maybe they haven’t been as bad as this. So, I am on day two of my antidepressants – again.

I have never minded taking them. It was the antipsychotic I wanted to quit and somehow ceased taking the antidepressant along the way. My sister has moved in and while I love her a ton, I’m not excited because it displaces my daughter from her room. She isn’t here that much but it takes away her personal space and she isn’t happy about it, to say the least. I’ve been trying to prepare her for this day but really how can one prepare for it? She will have her own space but it is a work in progress. I have done nothing in regards to help making her a space of her own because I physically cannot at this point because…fuck, I can’t. I’m broke.

I am sitting in my designated studio space and it is the first time I have sat here in a week or so. Sure I’ve sat here but immediately I get up. I have no inspiration. I want to create to release whatever this pain is but instead I get up. What bothers me the most at this point is that I have nothing of value to write about. I feel like Debbie Downer and I don’t like putting depressing shit out into the universe but it is my reality and if I only put out Polly Positivity, I’d be lying.

Shortly after typing the above paragraphs I laid down and slept…more. I guess I need it. It’s all I want to do and the last thing I want to do. My body feels like it is shutting down without my permission. People have a hard time believing our mental health affects our physical state but I am living proof that it most certainly does.

I am going to try and put out an S.Y.K. tomorrow but I have two appointments and Kid so no promises. I will reach out and ask that y’all keep me in your thoughts and thank you for any good, positive vibrations you can send my way. I need them. I will drink me some water and hang on for tomorrow. Let’s hope that gets me through because giving up is not an option.

Drowning, Differently

Mental Health & Recovery

Do Different!

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results. And so…, today, I did different. Not – I wanted to do different but I DID differently.

Having a morning routine is something I have wanted to give a go for about a year now and this morning, I had a tech-free morning that included writing my thoughts, indexing my day, and meditating. How amazing is that?!?!

Last night we had a total solar eclipse and it was a new moon. Tapping into my “energy life”, I have researched the energy of the moon. From as long as I can remember, I have been drawn to the night sky. The moon and stars heal my being like the ocean does for some. Give me a blanket, surrounded by trees and a sky lit with the moon and stars and I am a happy girl. I figure there has to be more to it than that and so I Googled.

Do Different- Revenge of Eve

I have kept pretty quiet about my findings because I’m not particularly looking for opinions on the matter but I must say, me and the moon…we are close pals. I have now done a full moon ritual (last month) and last night I did my first new moon ritual. No, it isn’t witchcraft. It involves setting intentions and releasing things that no longer serve you – oh, and using sage to clear the air.

I drop that tidbit of info because it is something new I am doing and what’s the point in introducing new into my life if my routines and daily habits remain the same?? I’ll answer that for you – there is no point!!

Whatever it is that you do or believe or…yeah, whatever you do…it is the intention behind what you are doing and the follow up behind the intention that makes the difference. And allow you to claim your sanity as a bonus.

Today felt significantly lighter for me. I realize I have been quiet lately and I even skipped out on S.Y.K. this week, my apologies. To ease any worries, it is because I am processing a ton of…well, bullshit. Bullshit that I do not have a clue of what exactly it is I am dealing with. This phase has been difficult but I am trying my damnedest to respond kindly to myself – even if all that is, is tears, lots and lots of tears. I thought I was emerging but I am afraid I am barely hanging on some days. I am experiencing changes that I didn’t prepare for and even more weird, I don’t even know what changes I am talking about BUT I do know some things are changing within me and around me.

I know this too shall pass and I suppose it is the immediate gratification receptors that want it to pass now but I also know good things take time. I feel as though this transition began in 2017 and I am working diligently for things to smooth out. All I have is time. As much as I know all of this, I feel as though I am drowning, differently.


Published a day after written

Revenge of Eve

Working on Us #4

Mental Health & Recovery

Working on Us

#4

After missing last weeks episode, I had to make sure to make good on this one. Life is a little busy and a little shitty right now but hey!!…that’s life ๐Ÿ™‚

Kid and I went out today and bought her some socks for school and a tea pot for her future stovetop. We prefer our tea boiled in a tea pot verses in the microwave. The aroma of tea makes me happy. My daughter is a sweet tea drinking fool so for her dorm/future apartment, a tea pot is essential ๐Ÿ˜‰ For Christmas I bought her a black strainer with silver handles and when we saw the tea pot with the colors reversed, she had to have it. Twenty dollars is worth the value of some good ole sweet tea.


I am choosing the first prompt which this week is a question that asks:

How do you deal with the stigma surrounding your mental illness(es)? The question was submitted by Carol Anne

I do not lend my focus toward the stigmas attached. I prefer speaking from personal experience and to anyone who brings the subject up. I also make sure to defend our lack of control on the matter and also do my best to provide educating material for others. In fact, I have pulled out Ashley’s book at work for a few girls who were questioning their medication. I do not have a resource library on hand but I do have some quick material bookmarked for easy access. I choose to put my energy in understanding my own situation without allowing others opinion to pollute my experience. I still grapple for the words to describe what it is I am dealing with. Some days are better than others.

letter143-Revenge of Eve

6.28.19

Mental Health & Recovery

*language warning*

I am finding this time of my life extremely difficult. Each time I feel as though I advance on a spiritual level, something material or childish, immature behavior on behalf of others, pulls me down. I want to run away. Sell my car and live on the streets. This race to maintain and all the glory given to the almighty dollar has my life in shambles. Do you know how it feels to say “I am unhappy. I want to quit my job” and to have your mother remind you that you have bills?? Because she “wants to mentor me”. Are you fucking kidding me? Mentor a 40-year-old?!! For crying out loud, it’s a little fuck’n late don’tcha think???

And life with a teen is pure bliss. If I see her. She’s in and out. When she’s in, she’s laid up in her room without a care in the world. The world spins for her and what else is there to do? Or that’s what I assume she thinks because hell, I have no clue what she thinks. Every time I think I do, I get it wrong.

Do you ever feel like there is always someone standing over your shoulder criticizing every step you take? That’s what life feels like for me and it fuck’n sucks!!! Because if we gonna do that, I got a list for them too…but I do not want to feed into that energy but…Did I mention it fuck’n sucks? No one wants to evaluate themselves. They’d rather point out everything you do “wrong”. I’m over it!!

I’d like to touch on gossiping and I mean barely skim over the subject: GROW SOME BALLS AND COMMUNICATE!!! And to the two-faced people out there…grow the fuck up. You think you are slick?? You are a waste of time. Stop trying to snake your way into friendships because who you truly are will soon surface.

I’m going to take a nap and try again. Let’s hope I feel better when I wake up because right now….