Revenge of Eve

Working On Us Week 9

Mental Health & Recovery

As life would have it, I have missed a few weeks of my friends Working On Us series but not this week!!! Beckie from Beckies Mental Mess is one of the most supportive bloggers in the mental health community. She shows her support through comments and her words of encouragement have lifted the veil of gloom for myself many times! If you are not friends with her, I highly recommend finding a way to be!


Prompt #1 Questions:

  • Have you ever received music therapy as part of your treatment? If so, what kind of music was introduced to you? Unfortunately, no.
  • Do you listen to music ( if/when) you meditate? If so, what kind of music do you listen to? I have not found a way to integrate music as a part of therapy as suggested by a professional. I do, however, listen to music all the time.
  • If you have never tried music therapy as a treatment, what types of music calm and/or mellow you? It really depends on what I am going through. Sometimes it is some heavy metal, sometimes it is Florenece and the Machine, others times, some good ole trap music 😂
  • Do you believe music helps everyone and there is really no use for therapy in this regard? I think music is the road that leads us back to our true selves.

Prompt #2 Music Selection:

Select 2 music video’s that help you and your mental stability when you listen to it. Also, describe how those songs make you feel?

Rules:

  • Write your own post and create a pingback to the original post here.
  • There are no right or wrong answers. Write in any format you see fit. (Answer’s, fiction, non-fiction, poetry, poem, short prose…anything).
  • You can do one or all prompts.
  • You have from July 31st. through to August 6th. to submit your entries.

  • Please reblog the original post in order to spread more awareness.
  • ( If you the blogger have a suggestion/question you want to ask in the future weeks, please submit them in the comment section of this post).
  • Let’s see if we can get some men involved in this weeks prompts, your viewpoint/feelings are validated here too!
  • Plus, as an added bonus, whoever responds to the following prompts will automatically be reblogged to promote your blog site!

The Same Lesson. Over, and Over, and…

Mental Health & Recovery, Personal Growth & Goals

Yesterday was departure day and…


The photography featured in this post is strictly prohibited from use.


For our last night we pulled together as a team and gathered most everything, separated things into individual piles so things found there way home with the correct owner and just like that, it was morning. I must say this time I realized a few things.

A photo of our campsite and a small inlet- Revenge of Eve

Our campsite set up

A. I prepare too much food.

B. There is a such thing as too many bags.

C. Teens are still cool without there heads tucked into phone screens.

D. If I come back to this location, which I won’t, request the site that’s at the bottom of the bathroom hill.

E. A three bedroom tent that pops up easy doesn’t make it easy to get back in it’s portable bag with wheels.

F. I am great with empowering speeches but the action that is supposed to follow the speech…what’s that?

G. It is impossible to make four people happy. You can accommodate in every way you imagine but being that we cannot be another, we will miss something.

H. I don’t know how to relax.

I. My full out camping days are over. I may venture on some solo trips but as far as preparing for, maintaining the campsite, setting up and breaking down – no more. It’s too much to be considered a vacation.

I learned a lot this trip and accept it for what it is. I will continue to do the things that once brought me immense joy as an experiment phase before I venture into more thrilling, new adventures.

Revenge of Eve- The beginning of our river float

Rental Tubes and my daughter and her best friend at the start of our 4 hour float

I found it impossible difficult to focus my attention on what it was I wanted to let go of but…I was able to work through other things. For the first time ever I actually saw myself as a worker ant. I am non-stop. When I would recognize my “grouping” of objects, I would verbally tell myself to sit and a few times I would be in a half-sitting position before I’d bounce up (never sitting) to put one last thing where the “kitchen” stuff goes. Yes, at a campsite.


Overall things within myself were hectic. I couldn’t shut down mom mode, I was organizing, preparing for…and, once again, trying force things in my life. My way. Force things to be done my way because it is the logical way BUT here’s the thing, my way isn’t necessarily the right way nor the only way. That is what I took away from this mini-vacay and so it goes, no vacay at all because I was still there trying to anticipate what may happen instead of just allowing things to be. Am I happy this happened? Joyed actually because it gives me a specific place to focus. The exact place I have said all year deserves my attention and that is the present. So I shall continue to just be…well, work to be anyways. I will get there. With persistence, I will arrive.

Photos of myself, my friend, and my child- Revenge of Eve

The back of my daughters head (lol) and myself (L) and my friend Dawn (R)

Currently. Perfect Timing.

Personal Growth & Goals

I sit in solid darkness.

My phone light reflecting off my face.

A campfire to my right, my child in the tent to my left (when I’m outside of the tent), an industrial fan that sit on top a plastic box care of Circle K (common gas station), a waterfall directly behind my right ear, and crickets inside my head. This is the sounds that soothe me.

Comfort me.

Calm me.

Lightening bugs flicker everywhere.

Whispers are heard over the insect sounds.

Teens chuckle as the river flow make a faint crisp sound.

I am in heaven.

My heaven.

Tomorrow, I’ll be in extascy floating on a tube drifting in and out, gazing at cloud patterns, cold, clear, clean water under my ass.

Turtles popping up as fish scurry to the top. Do fish scurry?

Anyways. I feel at peace.

Yes, I am still using technology but it is because everyone else is already asleep. And I did all the damn work!!

Jus kid’n, the 3 of them contributed 25% total. 😂 but I love them still the same. 💟


Oh, yeah. I came here to let some shit go and I’m gonna do just that.

💟

Revenge of Eve

revenge of eve-letter143

7.26.19

Life & Relationships

Sigh

Literally.

As of this moment, I am in mini vacay mode and omg, does it feel…like, a panicky-calm. I know. I know.

Revenge of Eve

But it’s true. I panic because I am waiting for the day I just say, “I’m not going back”. The day where I give into my dream of camping through life. Living rugged. Earthy. Outside. Weathered.

But inspired everyday from what my senses feel around me.

While I am a fiery force to deal with I am a country girl at heart. Not a cow girl. I am a nature lover. I could ditch every form of communication and live like a frontier person. Yeah, it’d take some getting used too but I know I’d be more fulfilled than I am currently.

It seems when things become instant, gratitude goes out the window.

And While It May Be

Personal Growth & Goals

And while this transition may be painful I’ve realized where the struggle lies. I am letting go of the me I built to protect myself, the only me I know. I am learning to control myself. Not the things around me.

Call it 40, or whatever you’d like but I know for me, it’s awkward as fuck. I don’t know if you realize what I just said in that first paragraph but that shit is A LOT for me.!.!!!.!

I am ashamed to be myself and that is the damage done by my father wanting me to be someone I’m not. These revelations are coming to me in waves. And guess what?? I’m not drowning. Maybe I’m floating but so what, I’m aware, learning, growing and giving. I don’t want to resort to being a cold-hearted bitch because that’s not me so I’ve decided to do for those who are unable to do for themselves. Help them to believe in themselves. Give those a chance that others dispose of. I will prevail from this darkness a stronger person than I went in and when I do, I will be ready to be used as the vessel I chose to be.


For the record, I didn’t feel like that was me speaking but with confidence I publish this post. Not as a warning but as a prediction.

revenge of eve-letter143

7.22.19

Mental Health & Recovery

Tonight I will lay my head for sleep in peace. I have shown acts of kindness that I once thought I was robbed of. I allowed someones emergency to be more important than mine and most importantly, I have been kind to myself. Nervous. But kind.

Coming into oneself isn’t done so without a battle. You have to fight for who you know you are or have the potential to be. Don’t allow someone to project their fears onto you. That is not you. That is them. And never shame yourself for the choices you have made. You made those because simply those were the best choice of your options.

Continue to be kind to yourself Candace Lynne. You have a lot to offer.