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A New Chapter

There is something in my life that had to change and today, I initiated the change. My last shift at the casino is Saturday. I feel myself sinking further into a pit of despair, one that I promised to never allow myself to go back to.


If I am honest I feel like I could have an anxiety attack. How will I pay child support, rent, storage, my car note, and insurance? I am canceling Netflix today. I will have to let go of my premium Spotify account… We have a camping trip planned for the end of April and I will make that happen just like I will make all of the rest happen.

I have faith in myself… It is my Ma I worry about. She isn’t even talking to me right now and I don’t know why. But I can’t live for her anymore or in fear of her opinion.

I have to come up with a plan.

First, I am going to go through my storage unit. My best friend already said he would help me to do so. I will decide what goes, what will sell, and what I will keep.

Life is a series of difficult decisions and if I didn’t make this decision, I fear I would break again, mentally. And for those who have never experienced that, you can’t explain what it feels like to have absolutely no control over your mind. It is the scariest thing I’ve endured and for what? Because I wasn’t tending to my most basic needs: nurturing myself.

By default, I put myself last in line when it comes to managing what it is I need. I battle with decision making, I always worry about how my decision will affect others, so much so, I will be in misery just so someone else is comfortable.

Well, that stopped today.

Turn the Page-Revenge of Eve

I am also bothered by the fact the world revolves around money. It blows. I can’t change that so no need to be aggravated about it. Although the stress of paying my bills is there, I can’t help but feel like this is how it is supposed to be for me. Right now. And… That is all we have.

My Ma isn’t going to allow me to live here without paying rent so it is possible I will become homeless and if that is the case, I hope to travel.

If anyone wants to host me in their country or state, I am a hard worker. I cook (American food), I will help garden, clean, organize, cut and color hair, pet sit, house sit, and whatever else you can think of (NO sexual favors). I can also bartend if any local bars will have guest bartenders. That would be fun.

When my daughter was young it was a goal of mine to save for a small, motorhome like travel home and when she graduated high school, I wanted to travel from campground to campground, across America, and work as a groundskeeper. The money from that would buy my food for the time I was there and my gas to move on to the next site. Well...I got in my way-imagine that-and this time, I am following my heart.

I want badly to be around here for my daughters last year of school but that may not be the plan. I will watch her graduate. All I know is that there is more to life than what is happening in mine. I have gone without the material things before- no biggie. I do fear to be hungry. I won’t lie. There is so much I want to see. I want to give of myself to those who need help.

When I discussed this with my daughter, I asked her if I left if she would feel abandoned and she said no because I wouldn’t be leaving her, I would just be traveling. I told her I would make it home for Christmas and her graduation. We then decided if I do this, which I hope to do, I will come home every three months.

Is this a cause for concern?

(For accountability)

I’m not sure. Two things are happening as we speak. I am (should have already) about to begin my cycle, and it is a full moon.

  • Things that are positive in this situation:
  • I still have my job at the bar.
  • I may pick up more shifts there but I highly doubt it- I’d rather work at a different bar.
  • I already have a friend who offered me a room if I do have to leave my Ma’s. She hasn’t spoken a word to me yet again (making this day four). This is common. She gives the silent treatment but refuses to communicate why. It is extremely unhealthy for me.
  • One of my closest friends expressed her support and her faith in me.
  • I have my daughters approval. She is just ready for me to get out of my Mas house.
  • No matter what, I will have made the choice and if any consequences arise, I will face them.
  • It feels right…but it is a crazy day to make life-changing decisions.
  • It has been happening since Christmas. Could I have prepared better? Of course and always.

That list is enough for me and I hope when I wake, it all stands the same. I do not want to free load. This may turn into a crowdfunding event – who knows but what I do know is I feel significantly lighter and I look forward to Saturday being my last shift.

Have you ever done anything like this?

P.s. I made five journals tonight. They are not 100% complete but they will be by Monday evening. 🙂

Revenge of Eve

P.S.S… I will have a plan if I travel. If you would host me for a brief stay, not entertain me, I would love to chat! I am a very clean and respectful person 🙂

I Am Not Satisfied with the Lack of Suggestions (repost)

Time is running out!!!


Yo, Yo, Yo…

Quick Question. I know that I will donate a set percentage of my sales to a charity every month. Then I got to thinking that it would be better for me to reach out to ya’ll and ya’ll could give me your preference and help spread the word. There may be smaller, more personal to you charities that you would love to see a monthly donation go to and I would love to do so!!!

Here’s what needs to go down

The charity must benefit the mental health community.

The organizer of the charity cannot make any money off of the charity for personal gain or for employment (they cannot receive a check from the charity funds).

The charity can provide funding, assistance, therapy, education, or entertainment for those with mental illness, ie group gatherings/movie meetups, no matter the foundation reason, if the mental health community is involved in a positive manner, I will consider the charity.


Pretty simple qualifications if you ask me.

So here’s whatcha do next….

Share!! Share this post on the platforms you interact on so hopefully someone you know can mention a charity close to their heart.

Next, drop your favorite charity in the comments and tell why you choose them with a brief description of their mission.

If you share on platforms outside of WordPress, make sure to have a link to this post or my website so I can receive their suggestions. This is not a ploy to gain more followers. I am 100% please with the amount of followers I have and I wouldn’t be upset if I never gained another. What this is, however, is a way to share the love among the community I was welcomed into just for being myself.

I am also thinking about speaking with whomever, within the charity, about displaying a link on my site where donations can be accepted anytime.

I haven’t yet determined the percentage but I will share that in theGarden, a bi-monthly newsletter, once I have made the decision. I will also be sharing some exciting news very soon so if you do not want to miss out, subscribe 🙂 (now that…that’s a shameless ploy to get you to subscribe – teehee)

How will I decide?

After narrowing it down by process of elimination, if a charity does not meet the qualifications, (I will do my research) then the remainder will be tossed into a hat and I will let my daughter draw the winner!!

I can’t wait to read everyone’s suggestion. In fact, the first donation will be made in your name! How about that? I will set a date to draw. Let’s say March 20th, the first day of spring. Sound good? I will donate to the winning charity for one year, each month, 12 donations. But I have to research the ones suggested, which will take some time depending on the number of suggestions… so I will not accept comments after 12:00 midnight on March 17th, St.Patrick’s day (central U.S. time).

I will contact the commenter who entered winning charity when the first donation is made.

Has Yours Arrived?

Exciting Stuff!!

While it is plenty to support others verbally, it is also validating to support the advancement efforts of our favorite bloggers… Especially if it only cost $7.00 to do so!!


Revenge of Eve

Get Yours Today!! Support Ashley like she does so many in our community!!

It’s a great book for bedside reference, easy to read and easier to comprehend. Ashley wrote this book for us because come on, she knows those medical terms and theories. She did that for us!! How awesome is that??

Then leave a review on Amazon

Or just purchase it. Help show the love

Take Five

Taking Care of Me!

I have decided to take care of me. It is something new to me and I will start by taking a well-needed break from blogging.


Revenge of Eve

I need to rejuvenate my mind, body, and soul. By default, I am a workaholic and my needs are often put on the back burner. I have come to learn the importance of self-care also being taught crisis doesn’t have to be the reason for me to do so….

Revenge of Eve

I always say that it is from our pain we learn lessons and for the first time in my life, I am going to stop before it reaches the point of pain. It has nothing directly to do with blogging. It is all me and the way I push and push until I break. I am tired of breaking. So…

It is. I will be available for contact but as far as producing content worthy of reading, I will be out of commission.


Revenge of Eve

Quick Question About Your Favorite Charity

Yo, Yo, Yo…

Quick Question. I know that I will donate a set percentage of my sales to a charity every month. Then I got to thinking that it would be better for me to reach out to ya’ll and ya’ll could give me your preference and help spread the word. There may be smaller, more personal to you charities that you would love to see a monthly donation go to and I would love to do so!!!

Here’s what needs to go down

The charity must benefit the mental health community.

The organizer of the charity cannot make any money off of the charity for personal gain or for employment (they cannot receive a check from the charity funds).

The charity can provide funding, assistance, therapy, education, or entertainment for those with mental illness, ie group gatherings/movie meetups, no matter the foundation reason, if the mental health community is involved in a positive manner, I will consider the charity.


Pretty simple qualifications if you ask me.

So here’s whatcha do next….

Share!! Share this post on the platforms you interact on so hopefully someone you know can mention a charity close to their heart.

Next, drop your favorite charity in the comments and tell why you choose them with a brief description of their mission.

If you share on platforms outside of WordPress, make sure to have a link to this post or my website so I can receive their suggestions. This is not a ploy to gain more followers. I am 100% please with the amount of followers I have and I wouldn’t be upset if I never gained another. What this is, however, is a way to share the love among the community I was welcomed into just for being myself.

I am also thinking about speaking with whomever, within the charity, about displaying a link on my site where donations can be accepted anytime.

I haven’t yet determined the percentage but I will share that in theGarden, a bi-monthly newsletter, once I have made the decision. I will also be sharing some exciting news very soon so if you do not want to miss out, subscribe 🙂 (now that…that’s a shameless ploy to get you to subscribe – teehee)

How will I decide?

After narrowing it down by process of elimination, if a charity does not meet the qualifications, (I will do my research) then the remainder will be tossed into a hat and I will let my daughter draw the winner!!

I can’t wait to read everyone’s suggestion. In fact, the first donation will be made in your name! How about that? I will set a date to draw. Let’s say March 20th, the first day of spring. Sound good? I will donate to the winning charity for one year, each month, 12 donations. But I have to research the ones suggested, which will take some time depending on the number of suggestions… so I will not accept comments after 12:00 midnight on March 17th, St.Patrick’s day (central U.S. time).

I will contact the commenter who entered winning charity when the first donation is made.

Support

Revenge of Eve

Operations:

As you may be aware, blogging can cost money. Dedicating myself to operating a blog has increased my life’s value. At least I believe so. I now spend my free time researching and creating instead of floating around. If you like what I bring to you, you can support my efforts in a variety of ways.

Revenge of Eve

Donate

You can donate $5.00 by using the donation button. This button has been set for a donation in a five dollar increment. Easy peasy. It is secured through PayPal.

Support-Revenge of Eve

Donate

$5.00

Supplies

Another way of donating would be through purchasing craft supplies or gift cards with a balance of your choice. You can contact me and I will give you my address. I accept any vintage papers, lace, glitter, cardboard material, cardstock, patterned paper, glue, double-sided tape, watercolor paint, acrylic paint, vintage books… The list is pretty limitless.

I have had a blogger donate using her Amazon credit and because she lives in Canada and I in the United States, doing it this way was genius.

Support-Revenge of Eve

Handmade Purchases

I offer handmade memory keeping journals, inserts for traveler’s notebooks (any size) with vintage paper, tiny bottles of glitter or with a scroll (to hang from a necklace or a charm bracelet), flip books, server books (coming soon), postcards with collaging, and collaged pieces. Each varies in price.

Support Revenge of Eve

Old Keys

Any keys that you may not know the lock that it goes too, ship ’em my way. I am wanting to use them as a kind of trademark to ship with order packages. Old, chipped, ugly, skeleton keys, any key you have and no longer use, I would appreciate them tremendously.

Contact me via chat and I will give you my shipping address. I will pay postage if need be.

An Introduction

Heyyy Youuu Guys!!

Welcome back to the second edition of An Introduction. As categories are added to Revenge of Eve, I like to take the time to detail them although most of them are self-explanatory.

If you are new to these parts, welcome.

You have stumbled upon An Unconventional Lifestyle blog where we discuss a variety of topics. The first edition of An Introduction listed six categories. My initial goal was to have only four total… I have since extended it to max, 10. Definitely no more than that, preferably 8 but ya know, 10 is a possibility.

Let’s catch up on the newest categories/subjects that will be discussed here on R.O.E.

Life & Relationships

These post will discuss my many curiosities about life and… ahem, relationships. I will also share my personal life in this category. Oh, wait. I do that in every post. Haha.

Perhaps these post will be more intimate. I’ve not ever been married, I have one child and a relatively small family.

My fam will be referred to as:

Ma– my mother

The Others– brother and sister

SIL-sister in law

Kid– my daughter

and The Littles– my niece and nephew.

We spend a lot of time together but as with all families, we have our fair share of disagreements.

Ma & Me

Ma & Me will be a category that describes life as an adult, living with mental illness and… You guessed it, with my Ma.

Life as an adult child isn’t for the faint of heart. It is truly a struggle because you are aware that you are an adult yet you are not only treated as a child, your emotions are not regulated. Its fun (meh) but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I have a feeling a lot of funny, entertaining, and real will come from this category. We need something to lighten things up around here (it’s ok to agree), I apologize.

What’s even better, my Ma doesn’t read my blog (I am bitter about it but, whatever) and so I can talk shit about her…!! Bahahahahaha. Keyword, I. There are a lot of things that make living with your parent, as an adult, challenging.

Stay tuned.

Letter143

I have always wanted to have a dialogue type series here on R.O.E. but never really knew how I wanted to present it. Well, here it is… Letter143. These are letters to myself, family and friends in real time. I will write what comes to mind, when it comes to mind and publish them immediately.

I created a page that can be found as a drop down from the home directory button, basically explaining what Letter143 is. I would like each post to be found there so if you know how to do that, HELP. 🙂 Would I set it as a parent page and then each post that is a Letter143 set as a what? These post will be simply be titled the date in which it were written. I will consider this aspect of my blog as my online diary, of sorts.


Oh yeah…

Posting hasn’t been at the forefront of my mind as of late. I’m not burned out or remotely considering quitting, I have shifted my energy toward creating. My projects are built upon and require things to be decorated before assembly and again as a whole piece.

I have quite a few things ready to sell, I just haven’t found made the time to take photos. Previously I created a page that displayed a few items but I realized I wasn’t impressed with how the photos turned out. So… I deleted the page and made the decision to wait until I could make them visually appealing (graphically) before posting them again.

I have props. I have the products. So all we are waiting on is me.

Imagine that.


If you are not subscribed to receive my newsletter, JUST DO IT already! 🙂

P.S. I have lots of ideas floating around in this head of mine. They are only ideas at the moment but as, if, or when something becomes of them, subscribers are the first to know. Don’t be left out and keep up with the happenings here on R.O.E. No spamming… No sales gimmicks. Just little insiders… You know you wanna!! Where do you do so? 5 seconds after you are on this site, a slider pops out from the right side of your screen. To receive the newsletter, you enter your email address in the box provided. Easy peasy.