It isn’t necessary for you to always be doing, nor is it healthy. If you do, at some point, nothing becomes.
You are trying to force something into existence that isn’t ready…and neither are you.
What is necessary is the rest
What goes up must come down and your insistent resistance proves you need a break more than anything. Take the damn break. Step away from your phone, laptop, and all forms of technology to reboot.
Nourish your mind, body, and soul before it is too late. Crisis isn’t a necessary state, remember.
Be you separate from the outside factors. Start today. Whatever you think needs to be done can wait. Change your thought process and evaluate where you stand. What is being accomplished from this feverishly, constant state of go? You will find. ..nothing.
Even God takes a break – famous words of advice from Beckie
A list of ideas:
Read a book
Give yourself a manicure/pedicure
Take a nap
Watch a movie
Play in the rain
Hang out with a friend
Binge watch Netflix
Listen to podcast
Use this time of rest to connect with yourself
You are a work in progress and that process cannot be rushed.
I love you, Candace Lynne
For no reason at all…
I am complete blah when it comes to anything blog related. Certainly, I’m not alone as I am sure this occurs from time to time. It’s possible that I have too much on my plate or because I am working two jobs again… But I can make any excuse. The reality is I am not feel’n it right now.
I know this is just a phase because my love of writing combined with my need for connection overrides any thoughts of stopping. In fact that never crossed my mind.
If you have followed me for any amount of time, I am sure you have noticed my lack of commitment recently. If you haven’t, it has been on a decline for at least a month. If I really think about it, I lost my momentum after making the decision to stop NYAC. I’ve briefly felt this way before and I hope to regain interest soon but for now, I am just coasting.
I didn’t even open my laptop until 1 a.m.!! I went for almost 24 hours without checking WordPress or reading any post. I believe that is a first since I began blogging. It is times like this that make the decision to go self-hosted difficult.
Some people will tell you that self-hosted is cheaper and way better but after your first year your hosting fee per month doubles if not triples, that does not include the good plug-ins that help operate the backend of your blog, or newer-up-to-date themes. I was told by another blogger that on average if you want to have a successful site, it costs around $500 a year.
If I invested that each year, there would be no breaks nor would I feel ok with taking a step back. You aren’t guaranteed any income and if you don’t get a lot of traffic, you won’t make money.
I’ve had so much going through my head. I have been manic, off and on, for about 4 months now and I fear a gigantic crash. For some reason, my depression happens more so in the summer months than the other times of the year. That’s odd because I love sunshine but maybe it is the heat that does it to me. Idk but I do know I do not want to fall too far from where I am. Such is my reality.
It is this blah-ness towards blogging that has me fearing a fall. I know many of you will suggest medication and I am not against medication, I’m just not ready to get back on ’em so basically, I get what I deserve…
Moving past that, work has been slow and money isn’t what it needs to be. Actually, I am sure that is contributing to why I feel this way and it bothers me that my emotions are attached to monetary gain. I wish I lived in a world where being a good person meant you had no worries.
Looking at my current status as a whole I come to the conclusion that something has to change. The podcasts I listen to are having an enormous impact on me and I know this discomfort has to do with something I am ignoring and until it gains my attention or I seek it, I will remain dissatisfied. It sucks knowing that all of my problems are me. Because of me. That’s it.
Instead of whining about it I will do as suggested and ground myself. Be present – which is so freak’n hard by the way. This human condition is for the birds!!
Much love from me to you!
If I had to give you a visual representation of what achieving my goals for February, looked like, this would be it…
There was absolutely zero structure to my month with the exception of a work schedule. I am in desperate need of an assistant or a life coach. I’ve come to this conclusion as I look about my studio and see millions (not literally) of unfinished projects.
It feels as though setting any goals for the month never happened but it did. Not as lofty as January goals and not any really achieved. I somewhat reminded myself to take a look at what goals I had set mid-month but apparently, I never looked back. Thankfully I only set one goal for the month and it was to move closer toward my ultimate goal of defining myself.
So…what did I do?
I refuse to beat myself up over maintaining a strict rule in regards to goal setting. But I will admit I have missed writing a gratitude list each morning and so I begin this again this morning. For no reason, in particular, I stopped writing one each morning.
I did, however, make an eye appointment. I will make do with a free pair of glasses that I am offered to receive each year. Usually, I opt to purchase using the $100 credit but this time I will not go over. I cannot afford too at the moment. The last pair I purchased was $300 over the allotted one hundred 😮 They are nice and still in tack.
Last minute I decided to honor my daughter by using the month of February to celebrate her. For all intent and purposes, it went well but I expect to be more prepared for next February. I will make this a tradition here on R.O.E. and each year I will add a creative touch to it so it isn’t just her life story repeated.
Surprisingly I struggled with finding the words for a months worth of posts but I made do with a few. She began her track season this month and has taken a break from soccer. I think she will benefit from the break.
I introduced a new series this month, Letter143, that I am excited to have launched. Anytime you see a post titled using the date, it belongs in the Letter143 category. I have wanted to do something like this for a while so I am excited for it to finally have its place.
The festivities of Mardi Gras are almost over and where I never wanted them to end before, I cannot wait for them to now. It is mass crowds full of drunks who are looking for a fight. This used to be my favorite time of year but with my newfound love of solitude, I could do without.
All in all, February was decent. I can’t complain. I have a roof over my head, a job; two actually, food in my belly and love in my heart. How about you? How was your second month of 2019?
Quick Recap of February 2019 Posts
There were more posts than I realized but hands down the most exciting thing to happen were being nominated for a big deal bloggers award. No one has claimed to have submitted my nomination but I think I may have a good idea who it is ❤
We changed our 2019 Challenge to something more along the lines in ROEland, S.Y.K. (so you know) with the idea to bring the reader closer to their favorite bloggers. It is simple to participate and never will there be more than 5 questions.
You can find all of the S.Y.K posts here:
Posts to my daughter:
I have already discussed Letter143 and those posts can be found here.
A few random post made their way onto the screen but that about wraps up February, 2019. Easy, Breezy…CoverGirl Easy…bahahahahaha
Peace Out ~
2019: Challenge Reeemixxx
Sorry I am posting this so late on this Monday but I woke with a terrible headache which made it difficult to look at a screen. 🙁
So You Know
Hey you fun, question-answering love bugs (don’t ask me..)
You’ve made it back!! I appreciate the participation and I hope your answers give your readers a little more insight into who you are from a non-blogging perspective. Last week we had a pretty good set of questions but not as deep as the first week. This week consists of only one question with two parts.
I like to keep it pretty simple around here and here are a few things to keep in mind while participating:
- There are no right or wrong answers… Your answers = Your opinion = Your life
- Answer a few or one, whatever you are comfortable with
- Pingback to any S.Y.K. post
- Use the hashtag #SYK to tag your post
- Be real. If you feel a certain type of way, say it. You were asked your opinion 😉 (double dog dare)
- A number of questions will be asked. At least 1, no more than 5.
- Questions will range in subject from cherries to prostitution.
- Participation will consist of you creating a post on your website, listing the questions and responding.
- Pingback to any SYK post
Think about this, if you will:
Who are you? And who are you not?
That’s it! I ask that you dig deep. Write a post detailing the things about yourself you would like to be said at your eulogy. Everyone wants to be remembered in a certain way. Are you living a life that you are proud of? And the second part would be the things that you know, wholeheartedly, that you are not.
My Answers to Last Weeks Questions
- Do you struggle with your mental health (ie. diagnosed)? Yes. I am diagnosed with occurring illnesses. I am in recovery from alcohol, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and OCD. My symptom is minimal, currently speaking. I went undiagnosed for over 20 years and suffered a great deal from my own decisions. I was diagnosed formally as bipolar in January of 2017 and began medication in September of 2017. You can read the full story here.
- What is the most aggravating misconception as it relates to your diagnosis? For me and all of my diagnosis, it would have to be that we look a certain way. I am told more often than not that I do not look like an alcoholic or someone who is bipolar. This confuses me but it does make sense because the media outlets and Hollywood have us portrayed as overdramatic, frantic characters who attack others while pulling our own teeth out (not exactly but pretty close).
- Is there a history of mental illness in your immediate family? I consider mother, father, siblings and grandparents immediate family and yes, my maternal grandmother and grandfather were alcoholics and I think my Ma could very well be bipolar and ocd. She hasn’t been formally diagnosed but boy does she has some mood swings! Maybe not bipolar but definitely ocd, in my non-professional opinion.
- If you could change the stigma surrounding your diagnosis, how would you go about so? I think the first step would be to stop allowing our media outlets to portray any disorder through visual or verbal description. Next would be on a legislative level and lastly on an educational level. If I knew how to implement it I would have already began so this is where my idea has began and ended.
- Do you believe that maintaining our mental wellness will ever rank in importance with maintaining our physical health? Why or why not? In the future, after I am gone, I believe so. The world is rapidly changing and the importance our our mental health has seen a significant increase already. I believe our future generations will implement change where it is necessary. I not only have hope, I have faith in our children to construct our society.
Use today to mentally structure your week. Be present and kind to yourself.
They will never define me.
Not the doctors.
Not my father.
Not my ex’es,
In Texas 😂 jk.
Not the psychiatrist.
Only I can.
And even that is questionable.
Don’t go numb to your ideas.
You will get there.
Look at how far you’ve come.
You are given new opportunities every 24 hours.
If a break is needed, relax for a day.
How are your habits?
Keep them in check.
Do not go into the darkness of what could’ve been and why you are not..
Stay in a frame that is conducive to boost your mental wellness.
The past is exactly that.
Its ok to have an off day.