revengeofeve

Big Things Are Happening

Life & Relationships, Mental Health & Recovery, Personal Growth & Goals, R.O.E. Need To Know

‘Ello Guys, Gals, & Critters

I must admit, I am experiencing feelings of guilt for enjoying my unintentional leave of absence from the blogosphere. Other than brief clicks on the app logo, from my phone, I have avoided the internet all together. I haven’t even scrolled here on WordPress in quite some time and if I had, it were only a few thumb pushes up, however, I was lucky enough to catch Ashley’s book launch (a few days late :/) long enough to comment on my admiration for the new Mental Health @ Home website. Ash is mov’n and shak’n 🙂 Make sure you check out her new digital store full of premium mental health content and purchase Making Sense of Psychiatric Diagnosis, her newest release.

“With the fusion of diagnostic information, clinical experience, and lived experience, this book offers a unique, well-rounded perspective on the reality of mental illness.

Ashley Peterson

Myself and other mental health bloggers contributed our personal experiences with mental illness diagnosis to coincide or collide with the information written as criteria in the DSM-5. A brilliant idea, if you ask me. Ashley is offering a digital version ( link above) from the MH@H store but a paperback version is available for purchase on Amazon. This post is in support of my blogging buddy but more so I am bragging on my friends continued growth and dedication to helping others understand their own diagnosis through translating medical terminology into digestible bits of information. Her doing so helps the mental health community with empowering information for one to be oneself advocate and if you ask me, that’s huge!!


In other news…

Speaking of huge… Google has launched a new website in support of those with substance abuse disorders called Recover Together!! The initiative promotes changing the terminology we use in accordance with substance abuse to further assist in destigmatizing. It doesn’t stop there, nooooo…Recover Together provides resources, community, and an interactive map highlighting recovery groups throughout each state in the United States. Among these resources, a link to Recovery Research Institute is provided to support the change in the way we speak. The website must employ a genius who has coined and provided an Addictionary; trademarked as an “addictionary” defining terms associated with addiction and recovery.

“If we want addiction destigmatized,
we need a language that’s unified.

The words we use matter. Caution needs to be taken, especially when the disorders concerned are heavily stigmatized as substance use disorders are”

Recovery Research Institute

How amazing is all of this, y’all???!!!!

An article written on The Verge claims that, “Even if the site is partially (or even mostly) meant as a PR move to make up for how badly it let itself get gamed by scammers in 2017, it still seems like a good starting point for people looking for help with addiction. It’s certainly more useful than a Google search for “rehab,” which as of this writing puts three or four ads at the top before the actual search results.”. The article writer also suggests, “Google’s new launch is in honor of the 30th annual National Recovery Month“.

Whatever the motivation, I am in full support of the initiative behind Google’s Recover Together website and I believe that targeting the way we speak as the perfect start toward monumental change.


In Local News

Many of you can attest that the exact conversation has been cycling through our very own WordPress mental health community for some time but to see the giant, that is Google, endorsing a similar campaign, gives me hope. Hope as a mother, who struggles daily with symptoms associated with co-occurring disorders, of a society equipped with knowledge. Not media headline grabbing misinformation. And with that, I bring this to a close but…not without getting to this posts’ purpose..!!… What’s that, you ask?

The purpose of this post is to acknowledge our the mental health community. Despite adversity, stigma, personal set backs, and media misinformation, WE show up, encourage and support one another using whatever means necessary. We expose ourselves and share our shortcomings. We share our darkest of thought and deepest of pain and we do so with ONE purpose …

So others know they are not alone.

We have emerged from the outskirts of normal to the front lines of battle and we have done so together. That my #fellowfighter deserves an explosive ball of gold glitter accompanied by annoying sound mechanisms and of course, cupcakes.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Because of us, individually and collectively, the march has begun. Give yourself a little credit and splurge on yourself today ~ from me to you, a virtual tight squeeze but not before I personally thank each of you for being strong during the storms life has thrown at you. Your resilience is motivating. But I say now its time to hold on tight because a #mentalmovement is underway and you my friend have contributed to laying the foundation. Thank You. Thank You for all of your efforts. They do not go unseen.

Please keep shining your light.

Candace Lynne - Revenge of Eve

Hey, pppsssstttt! Down here…use the hashtags #fellowfighter and #mentalmovement when you are sharing your story or daily experience with all that is associated with mental health, on all of your platforms. What does doing so do?…This allows us to reserve a nook in the spacious world-wide web where we can be found by simply entering the hashtag into Googles search engine. What began as a Twitter trend actually morphed into an pretty amazing tool. Let our army be found 🙂 #mentalmovement #fellowfighter #unitedwestandproud

Blooming at 40?? Yup! 🙂

Mental Health & Recovery, Personal Growth & Goals

Before I begin, can someone please tell me how to center the text on the mobile app with the new editor? I suppose I am just realizing how much I use my phone for blogging and not being able to center the text has nerved me to no end!! And has stopped me from posting on more than a few occasions.


Brief

Maybe you have noticed, maybe not…but things have been the quietest they have ever been around here. There isn’t any particular reason but life has decided there are more things to confront, heal, and process than I had originally speculated. Will I allow it to break me? I’d prefer to let it shape me but that doesn’t go to say it’s easy. If there are two things I have learned about all of this self-improvement shit, it’s that hard realities must be faced with honesty and patience is required throughout all of it.

Patience

When 2019 arrived I made it my mission to forgive those who I felt have wronged me in a way that continues to impact my life. I don’t hold resentments over petty things so my list of those to forgive is short. So short in fact, I had moved through half of that list in the first month by forgiving one person!! Well, technically there is no half to three…there is but I should say there is no half of a person. Lol. However you want to look at it, my list consists of three people. One of those being myself.

Unbeknownst to me, the order I had planned to do the forgiving in, least impactful to most, didn’t go as planned. This is where patience plays a vital role. I’ve realized life unfolds on its own terms and if I encounter resistance its because that isn’t the time for things to unfold. At the beginning of all of this, I found myself trying to force one thing only for another to prevail. Instead of pushing back on my plan, I let go of the reigns and decided it would go much more smoothly if I invested myself in the things that were showing up, in no particular order. I’m not a fan of surprises but let’s just say it has been interesting.

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Hard realities and honesty

Being that I have a history with substance abuse, it is a given I will be reminded of things I did that hurt others. Of course, this was never my intention but so the story goes. Alcohol became the filter remover I thought I needed to heal and accept myself but the reality is I spewed some ugly, hurtful words to those who truly matter.

Many of you can attest that I have been at a standstill in my growth/recovery for quite some time. This was the most aggravating phase but it was because I had a vision of how I imagined things to go. I didn’t realize in order for the big things to surface, I had a million little things that lead up to them.

I kept searching and yet there it was, right under my fuck’n nose. I asked and would receive but the truth is…I wasn’t listening. But believe me, I hear it all clearly now. This has been the push I needed. Forcing me to connect with myself on a deeper level (is that even possible?). I’m here to say and as a witness we can always improve but instead of beating ourselves up over it, if we allow it, it comes and goes. The weight that is lifted is much greater than the pain.

The growth that has happened here was made apparent in the way the universe presented it. There’s no way I could’ve missed it. And if you wanna know the truth, it humbled me, shattered my heart, and taught me a huge message about judgment. I am still smoldering and so, I am still a bit sensitive. I am learning to do things different and I may fail but that’s ok. I will never know success until I’ve tasted failure.

Baby steps.

I’m taking baby steps.

And while I tiptoe my way through the last few months of the year, I am going to continue seeking what I desire from within. I’ve accepted this is life and with every step forward, there is the possibility of a step backward…but I think I’ll work on my perspective, and maybe, just maybe, I will find peace just from taking the next right step.

Last Day

Life & Relationships, Mental Health & Recovery

Trembling,
her toes grip
the edge of the cliff.

According to society,
as a mother,
she is unfit.

How about sick?

Burdened since birth,
life is her curse.
Punishment
and
Continuous
pain.

Not quite insane.

On the edge she hang.
Shattered pieces
held together
by a fragile frame.
Never again the
same.

Fingers pointed
and
opinions shared
yet not one solution.
She gets it.
They have no care.
Rather
they stare.

Exploit her.
Ostracize her.
Pity her.
Shame her.
Reject her.
Judge her.

and Berate her
until
she’s weak.

She kneels.
No longer can she stand.
Doubt lingers
while pointing fingers.
Control it
they say.

She pleads,
Let this be my last day.

revenge of eve-letter143

8.5.19

Mental Health & Recovery, Personal Growth & Goals

Today there was a breakthrough in your recovery. Isn’t it crazy how in one sitting, one conversation with your therapist, you were able to identify this trigger happening six days ago and your sophomore year in high school?

Unbeknownst to me yet came from me?! This is a big day for you and the future success of your healing. Don’t minimize it and don’t obsess looking for all the other times it’s shown up in your life. Just be proud of yourself for once. Although you didn’t realize the work that was being done, you were able to do it without strenuous effort or loss of sleep.

You make me proud Candace. Keep being honest and keep pushing for healing within. Things will fall into place when it is time. You don’t have to force yourself to heal. Just love yourself and you will.

Revenge of Eve

Working On Us Week 9

Mental Health & Recovery

As life would have it, I have missed a few weeks of my friends Working On Us series but not this week!!! Beckie from Beckies Mental Mess is one of the most supportive bloggers in the mental health community. She shows her support through comments and her words of encouragement have lifted the veil of gloom for myself many times! If you are not friends with her, I highly recommend finding a way to be!


Prompt #1 Questions:

  • Have you ever received music therapy as part of your treatment? If so, what kind of music was introduced to you? Unfortunately, no.
  • Do you listen to music ( if/when) you meditate? If so, what kind of music do you listen to? I have not found a way to integrate music as a part of therapy as suggested by a professional. I do, however, listen to music all the time.
  • If you have never tried music therapy as a treatment, what types of music calm and/or mellow you? It really depends on what I am going through. Sometimes it is some heavy metal, sometimes it is Florenece and the Machine, others times, some good ole trap music 😂
  • Do you believe music helps everyone and there is really no use for therapy in this regard? I think music is the road that leads us back to our true selves.

Prompt #2 Music Selection:

Select 2 music video’s that help you and your mental stability when you listen to it. Also, describe how those songs make you feel?

Rules:

  • Write your own post and create a pingback to the original post here.
  • There are no right or wrong answers. Write in any format you see fit. (Answer’s, fiction, non-fiction, poetry, poem, short prose…anything).
  • You can do one or all prompts.
  • You have from July 31st. through to August 6th. to submit your entries.

  • Please reblog the original post in order to spread more awareness.
  • ( If you the blogger have a suggestion/question you want to ask in the future weeks, please submit them in the comment section of this post).
  • Let’s see if we can get some men involved in this weeks prompts, your viewpoint/feelings are validated here too!
  • Plus, as an added bonus, whoever responds to the following prompts will automatically be reblogged to promote your blog site!

The Same Lesson. Over, and Over, and…

Mental Health & Recovery, Personal Growth & Goals

Yesterday was departure day and…


The photography featured in this post is strictly prohibited from use.


For our last night we pulled together as a team and gathered most everything, separated things into individual piles so things found there way home with the correct owner and just like that, it was morning. I must say this time I realized a few things.

A photo of our campsite and a small inlet- Revenge of Eve

Our campsite set up

A. I prepare too much food.

B. There is a such thing as too many bags.

C. Teens are still cool without there heads tucked into phone screens.

D. If I come back to this location, which I won’t, request the site that’s at the bottom of the bathroom hill.

E. A three bedroom tent that pops up easy doesn’t make it easy to get back in it’s portable bag with wheels.

F. I am great with empowering speeches but the action that is supposed to follow the speech…what’s that?

G. It is impossible to make four people happy. You can accommodate in every way you imagine but being that we cannot be another, we will miss something.

H. I don’t know how to relax.

I. My full out camping days are over. I may venture on some solo trips but as far as preparing for, maintaining the campsite, setting up and breaking down – no more. It’s too much to be considered a vacation.

I learned a lot this trip and accept it for what it is. I will continue to do the things that once brought me immense joy as an experiment phase before I venture into more thrilling, new adventures.

Revenge of Eve- The beginning of our river float

Rental Tubes and my daughter and her best friend at the start of our 4 hour float

I found it impossible difficult to focus my attention on what it was I wanted to let go of but…I was able to work through other things. For the first time ever I actually saw myself as a worker ant. I am non-stop. When I would recognize my “grouping” of objects, I would verbally tell myself to sit and a few times I would be in a half-sitting position before I’d bounce up (never sitting) to put one last thing where the “kitchen” stuff goes. Yes, at a campsite.


Overall things within myself were hectic. I couldn’t shut down mom mode, I was organizing, preparing for…and, once again, trying force things in my life. My way. Force things to be done my way because it is the logical way BUT here’s the thing, my way isn’t necessarily the right way nor the only way. That is what I took away from this mini-vacay and so it goes, no vacay at all because I was still there trying to anticipate what may happen instead of just allowing things to be. Am I happy this happened? Joyed actually because it gives me a specific place to focus. The exact place I have said all year deserves my attention and that is the present. So I shall continue to just be…well, work to be anyways. I will get there. With persistence, I will arrive.

Photos of myself, my friend, and my child- Revenge of Eve

The back of my daughters head (lol) and myself (L) and my friend Dawn (R)

revenge of eve-letter143

7.22.19

Mental Health & Recovery

Tonight I will lay my head for sleep in peace. I have shown acts of kindness that I once thought I was robbed of. I allowed someones emergency to be more important than mine and most importantly, I have been kind to myself. Nervous. But kind.

Coming into oneself isn’t done so without a battle. You have to fight for who you know you are or have the potential to be. Don’t allow someone to project their fears onto you. That is not you. That is them. And never shame yourself for the choices you have made. You made those because simply those were the best choice of your options.

Continue to be kind to yourself Candace Lynne. You have a lot to offer.