And I speak…*edited

Life & Relationships

What purpose does balance serve when others impact your life?

Just as things seem ideal, others insert strife.

They speak in terms of wrong and right yet act entitled that they choose to be in your life.

I ask for no favors and only give from the heart.

Shouldn’t that be where balance start?

I set no expectations and encourage with words of support.

Why is it myself I contort?

Not to fit in their box per se rather make room in a fragile heart. No one takes into consideration, that part.

It is suggested to come from a place of love and so I try and try again.

I accept the most bizarre of characteristics,

only to be blamed for the delusional thoughts others amass.

There I stand, made to look an ass.

Poor,

sad vultures,

there’s nothing left of me to expose.

And you,

I dispose.

Egoic intentions fuel your resentments,

for you,

I never mention.

You see, I am what you are to me.

Perceive that how you see.

Waste time on you?

I think not.

There is no competition when it comes to dissonance. Go-ahead and look that up.

Did you even know how to read?

That’s what my ego would say if it were allowed to speak freely.

There is one thing I must let be known. In this world, I stand alone.

There is only one spot on this throne.

My child, the only I choose.

You can’t push on a bruise and expect attention from a person who thrives on pain.

It’s obvious, from you, I stand nothing to gain.

My public service announcement will continue to grow louder until all of you fuckers silence your chatter

Entertain you?

I don’t dare flatter,

…especially

because to me,

you never mattered.


**I am ashamed at the first published version of this spewing of rage and so I edited it to free it from this cage

revengeofeve

Big Things Are Happening

Life & Relationships, Mental Health & Recovery, Personal Growth & Goals, R.O.E. Need To Know

‘Ello Guys, Gals, & Critters

I must admit, I am experiencing feelings of guilt for enjoying my unintentional leave of absence from the blogosphere. Other than brief clicks on the app logo, from my phone, I have avoided the internet all together. I haven’t even scrolled here on WordPress in quite some time and if I had, it were only a few thumb pushes up, however, I was lucky enough to catch Ashley’s book launch (a few days late :/) long enough to comment on my admiration for the new Mental Health @ Home website. Ash is mov’n and shak’n 🙂 Make sure you check out her new digital store full of premium mental health content and purchase Making Sense of Psychiatric Diagnosis, her newest release.

“With the fusion of diagnostic information, clinical experience, and lived experience, this book offers a unique, well-rounded perspective on the reality of mental illness.

Ashley Peterson

Myself and other mental health bloggers contributed our personal experiences with mental illness diagnosis to coincide or collide with the information written as criteria in the DSM-5. A brilliant idea, if you ask me. Ashley is offering a digital version ( link above) from the MH@H store but a paperback version is available for purchase on Amazon. This post is in support of my blogging buddy but more so I am bragging on my friends continued growth and dedication to helping others understand their own diagnosis through translating medical terminology into digestible bits of information. Her doing so helps the mental health community with empowering information for one to be oneself advocate and if you ask me, that’s huge!!


In other news…

Speaking of huge… Google has launched a new website in support of those with substance abuse disorders called Recover Together!! The initiative promotes changing the terminology we use in accordance with substance abuse to further assist in destigmatizing. It doesn’t stop there, nooooo…Recover Together provides resources, community, and an interactive map highlighting recovery groups throughout each state in the United States. Among these resources, a link to Recovery Research Institute is provided to support the change in the way we speak. The website must employ a genius who has coined and provided an Addictionary; trademarked as an “addictionary” defining terms associated with addiction and recovery.

“If we want addiction destigmatized,
we need a language that’s unified.

The words we use matter. Caution needs to be taken, especially when the disorders concerned are heavily stigmatized as substance use disorders are”

Recovery Research Institute

How amazing is all of this, y’all???!!!!

An article written on The Verge claims that, “Even if the site is partially (or even mostly) meant as a PR move to make up for how badly it let itself get gamed by scammers in 2017, it still seems like a good starting point for people looking for help with addiction. It’s certainly more useful than a Google search for “rehab,” which as of this writing puts three or four ads at the top before the actual search results.”. The article writer also suggests, “Google’s new launch is in honor of the 30th annual National Recovery Month“.

Whatever the motivation, I am in full support of the initiative behind Google’s Recover Together website and I believe that targeting the way we speak as the perfect start toward monumental change.


In Local News

Many of you can attest that the exact conversation has been cycling through our very own WordPress mental health community for some time but to see the giant, that is Google, endorsing a similar campaign, gives me hope. Hope as a mother, who struggles daily with symptoms associated with co-occurring disorders, of a society equipped with knowledge. Not media headline grabbing misinformation. And with that, I bring this to a close but…not without getting to this posts’ purpose..!!… What’s that, you ask?

The purpose of this post is to acknowledge our the mental health community. Despite adversity, stigma, personal set backs, and media misinformation, WE show up, encourage and support one another using whatever means necessary. We expose ourselves and share our shortcomings. We share our darkest of thought and deepest of pain and we do so with ONE purpose …

So others know they are not alone.

We have emerged from the outskirts of normal to the front lines of battle and we have done so together. That my #fellowfighter deserves an explosive ball of gold glitter accompanied by annoying sound mechanisms and of course, cupcakes.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Because of us, individually and collectively, the march has begun. Give yourself a little credit and splurge on yourself today ~ from me to you, a virtual tight squeeze but not before I personally thank each of you for being strong during the storms life has thrown at you. Your resilience is motivating. But I say now its time to hold on tight because a #mentalmovement is underway and you my friend have contributed to laying the foundation. Thank You. Thank You for all of your efforts. They do not go unseen.

Please keep shining your light.

Candace Lynne - Revenge of Eve

Hey, pppsssstttt! Down here…use the hashtags #fellowfighter and #mentalmovement when you are sharing your story or daily experience with all that is associated with mental health, on all of your platforms. What does doing so do?…This allows us to reserve a nook in the spacious world-wide web where we can be found by simply entering the hashtag into Googles search engine. What began as a Twitter trend actually morphed into an pretty amazing tool. Let our army be found 🙂 #mentalmovement #fellowfighter #unitedwestandproud

Authors Who Made Me Smile and the Kindness Challenge…

Creative & Collective, Life & Relationships

Title Pun


There is an unspoken excitement when you await the arrival of something you have ordered online. It is almost like receiving a gift or a welcome in your mailbox. Multiply that times 100 when receiving mail by surprise!!! The days of receiving anything other than a bill in the mail have dramatically decreased with adulthood.

When I was a wee lad (Irish immigrant family), my “mommygee” mailed, us kids, each week, a Bible verse and if we could recite it at the end of the week, she would put money aside. I won’t claim to have a secret money account hidden but I distinctively recall how it felt to have something addressed to me. I felt so special. I can see her handwriting🙂

Combine nostalgia and my love of all things stationery and the result is a childlike squeal. Imagine my pitch when I received not one but TWO total surprise gifts from two kind hearted, generous, and thoughtful women. And they just so happen to be bloggers in the Word Press community🙂!!!

Candice from This Made Me Smile and Meg Kimball, her official author site, Advice Avengers. *see title* 🙂 I was taken back at the thought of them thinking of me. Meg won Day Two of Two Days of Giveaway last month and she added to my collection of blogger books. She has written a series of books and when she gave me the option to choose one, I left it up to her to decide. Seeing as I shipped the goodies on August 15, I didn’t expect to receive her book before then but…I did!!

Candice’s snail mail was a complete and total surprise. Awhile back I sent out postcards to a few inspirational bloggers with whom I’ve chatted with the outside of the blogosphere. I believe in total six bloggers received collaged goodness. One of the recipients was Candice.

Long ago, she had written a post about little libraries and how special they are to communities, in which I agree, and immediately I thought of how awesome it would be to receive a book from a Canadian free library. And so I said so in a comment to her. A book arrived sometime later and as a thank you, she was included in my list of postcard snail mail. Well, she upped the ante and shocked me with the cutest little origami journal!! Out of the blue and what a smile, it brought to my face.

I don’t know about you but when I get some new stationery, I thumb through the pages, feel the texture of the paper, look for defects, and try to decide which aspect of life I will use it for. Well, while doing so to the new addition, I found a handwritten piece of encouragement that said,

Those who wish to sing always find a song.

It is so special to me to have a quote handwritten by someone I’ve not had the opportunity to meet in person but admire from across the country. This adds the most special, personal touch; making it that much more cherishable.

The note Candice included with her sweet snail mail has already made its way into my journal.

Full Circle

You may have seen that Cyranny’s Cove is hosting a kindness challenge, all of which was prompted by her receiving a set of my art postcards (she too was one of the six). I had no idea my snail mail would have such an impact but because Cyranny enjoyed the uplifting message found on one of the postcards, she was inspired to spread the message of kindness through challenging her followers to participate once a month in mailing messages of kindness to others. You can find more detail at The Cove. Please do join us on the first of every month to see what the challenge for the month is.

This month was to find the address of an old friend we have not spoken to in some time and mail them a hello. Well, those in my past are there for a reason and without trying to ruminate on who would be the most surprised, I decided to add a twist to the challenge (of course I did).

My idea began with my niece and nephew and quickly multiplied to a total of seven lucky children. The oldest is my daughter’s stepsister who is nine and the youngest is 20 months old (actually Kid is the oldest and she will receive a letter at her dad’s so that she can participate with her stepsister and half brother).

In the photos I covered the cutest little mascot because I haven’t yet introduced her to y’all…she will be the face of my handmade journal shop…and she is the one hosting this particular idea of spreading kindness to kids. It will remain a secret that it is me.

I typed a cute message that explained what the kindness challenge is and on a second page, I included a list of objects for them to include in their artwork that will be returned to “her” each month. The idea came to me to add a prompt list to help give the kids and the parents helping, somewhat of a guide. In the challenge description, I mentioned spreading kindness by sending multiple mailed messages. I am also including a postcard with an image for coloring in hopes that will be sent to someone of their choice.


Coming Soon

Earlier in the week I sent out theGarden, my monthly newsletter that hasn’t been sent out in months. You may have noticed or maybe not but I haven’t been as active. The reason for this is because I am processing a lot of damage done to me as well as damage I’ve caused. Perhaps this is why I have been stuck for a few years because doing this shit is necessary.

In the newsletter, I mentioned an upcoming format change for R.O.E. It is my plan to start writing more posts that target my curiosities about mental health and life in general. These posts will require research and take more time than my average posts. The other aspect I would like to incorporate is an inspirational, creative aspect. Kinda of a gallery of sorts of my creative endeavors with hopes of video tutorials in the future.

I have not lost interest in blogging but as far as sharing my personal daily bits, you can subscribe to receive the newsletter if that what interests you. I am going to move away from sharing specific details although my informative posts will share personal snippets of my story.

Sooooo, basically, SUBSCRIBE SILLY 🙂

Last Day

Life & Relationships, Mental Health & Recovery

Trembling,
her toes grip
the edge of the cliff.

According to society,
as a mother,
she is unfit.

How about sick?

Burdened since birth,
life is her curse.
Punishment
and
Continuous
pain.

Not quite insane.

On the edge she hang.
Shattered pieces
held together
by a fragile frame.
Never again the
same.

Fingers pointed
and
opinions shared
yet not one solution.
She gets it.
They have no care.
Rather
they stare.

Exploit her.
Ostracize her.
Pity her.
Shame her.
Reject her.
Judge her.

and Berate her
until
she’s weak.

She kneels.
No longer can she stand.
Doubt lingers
while pointing fingers.
Control it
they say.

She pleads,
Let this be my last day.

Revenge of Eve

S.Y.K.

Life & Relationships

So You Know!

Well, hello folks and welcome back to R.O.E.’s question series. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve had one but we can just pick right on up where we left off🙂

If you are new to So You Know, I’ll give you a quick run down.

So You Know is a series of question intended to bring readers closer to the personal lives of their favorite bloggers. By following a few simple rules you to can give your reader insight into your life.

  • Create a post or answer the questions in the comments.
  • Create a pingback to this post. Don’t know how? Chat with me and I’ll explain how to do so. It’s easy!!
  • Answer the questions honestly

See? Easy, huh?


  1. Do you feel confident in expressing how you feel about particular things? Example: sharing your opinion or protecting your boundaries
  2. Do you have someone who holds all of your life’s secrets or do you keep everything to yourself?
  3. What is the one quality you look for in a friend?
  4. What is the one quality you possess that you are most fond of in others?
  5. List five words you would use to describe yourself. Only five words.
Revenge of Eve

My answers to the last S.Y.K.

  1. Do you take a vacation during the summer months? If so, what amount of time do you travel (days, weeks)? My daughter and I make a point to attend a music festival each year. The length of stay varies but up to one week.
  2. Do you meet up with family or friends at the destination? Each year in September the women of my family vacation in Florida for a week but I haven’t attended in a few years.
  3. What has been your favorite destination spot? I enjoy Florida but I love Arkansas.
  4. What has been your worst traveling experience? When I was four months pregnant I was flying to Utah and before loading on the plane I needed something to eat but my debt card would not process the transaction. I was sick the whole plane trip.
  5. If you do not travel each summer, what do you do to escape your reality? What’s reality? Lol
revenge of eve-letter143

7.26.19

Life & Relationships

Sigh

Literally.

As of this moment, I am in mini vacay mode and omg, does it feel…like, a panicky-calm. I know. I know.

Revenge of Eve

But it’s true. I panic because I am waiting for the day I just say, “I’m not going back”. The day where I give into my dream of camping through life. Living rugged. Earthy. Outside. Weathered.

But inspired everyday from what my senses feel around me.

While I am a fiery force to deal with I am a country girl at heart. Not a cow girl. I am a nature lover. I could ditch every form of communication and live like a frontier person. Yeah, it’d take some getting used too but I know I’d be more fulfilled than I am currently.

It seems when things become instant, gratitude goes out the window.

Revenge of Eve

S.Y.K.

Life & Relationships

So You Know

S.Y.K.

Whaddup, y’all?


Not too much here. Crazy Pieces moon has my house an emotional rollercoaster!! But it’s a good ride because I am shedding my skin. I am growing and I’ll take that anyway I can get it. Kid too!!

I’ve spent the day doing as any empowered woman does by bleaching the shit out of my space. Sheets, comforter, bathroom…ya know, wiping away any reminiscence of those emotions, yeah, those. Then Kid and I sat outside and enjoyed the beautiful sunny skies with a breeze and minimal humidity – I am so grateful for those commodities in life. We forget that it is those details we take for granted.


Mine and Kid's feet propped up on our back porch wall-Revenge of Eve
Back porch life

*Us girls stick together through mess*


And on to the reason you stopped by!

This week’s questions will be a round of lighthearted questions because who really wants to think? Not this chick (Y’all should hear my chicken cawl – no really)!!

Never participated in S.Y.K? Alright then…here are the loose guidelines:

  1. Publish a post on your website/blog answering today’s questions OR drop your answers in the comment section below.
  2. Create a pingback to this weeks edition. Don’t know how? Hit me up through my Chat menu. I’ll tell ya how. It’s easy.
  3. Be honest.
Mirror reflection of myself-graphic design-Revenge of Eve

Simple, Easy, Fun, Supportive!

This week’s questions

  • Do you like creamer with your tea or coffee?
  • What year were you born?
  • What things would you never pair together (clothes, objects, colors..)?
  • Does color represent certain beliefs/ideas for you?
  • If someone is getting on your nerves, how do you handle it?


My answers to last week’s questions

Answering these are me being vulnerable. And I’m sure I will be vague. Js.

He said he respected me and didn't want to insult my intelligence.  Wow! Do you know how honest that is?  And how bad it hurt for the me that is dying.-R.O.E.

The me that is dying is the teen who accepted less because she thought that’s what she deserved. Rejection. My kryptonite. Except this time a broken one, like myself, valued me enough to compliment me so I can see my worth and send me on my way. That shit doesn’t happen everyday but I accepted it for what it’s worth. My value. My growth and my evolution.



  1. Have you ever had a relationship with someone that you could not touch (Due to circumstance or distance)? Sort of. I was well on my way.
  2. If so, how did y’all meet? Our stories have been intertwined since childhood and then connected in a not-so-good loop of tragedy in our early twenties.
  3. Do you believe a relationship can survive without physical touch? I couldn’t.
  4. What types of relationships have surprised you (Close friend, brothers childhood friend, web friends)? My only best friend still by my side and most likely because he is man. My freshman year in high school two seniors with cowboy hats walk up to the truck I was in with two thugs and asked if I needed a ride home by some real men. Lmao. Naturally I stayed sat where I was. Soon after I arrived at home to the two of them sitting on the tailgate of a truck drinking beer in my driveway. I ended up dating one of them for a short period of time and the other….well, he’s been next to me ever since (pictured below).
  5. If you have ever had an experience that was not typical of traditional dating methods, what made it different and how long did it last? What I was recently involved in was far from typical and it lasted a month-ish. The rest of the details I’ll leave up to your imagination. 🙂
Me and my best friend, Snotty-Revenge of Eve
Candace & Snotty (Matt)
revenge of eve-letter143

6.23.19

Life & Relationships

Thank you for doing for me what I haven’t found the strength to do for myself

I will get there though

And I’ll have you to thank for this day

I will sit with this sadness instead of wishing it away

Because you do mean something to me

What that is, I’m not so sure

I want for you to accept your situation and for you to escape it but you choose your prison and that is something I cannot change

Although feelings were forming, I never forgot who you are but that’s what is so beautiful about acceptance

It just is

Breaking free from the roles others have placed on you is scary

Believe me, I know

From warrior to Queen hasn’t come without it’s challenges

But once you taste its freedom, you can’t go back

You deserve peace from a life of pain but as bad as I want that for you, I cannot force something on you that you do not know exists

Where you live breeds evilness and its power is stronger than me

But one day, you’ll see

And when you do

I hope you know

It’s me

Bye Sweets

Revenge of Eve

So You Know + A Lil More Info..

Life & Relationships

First things first

A big congrats to Sneha’s Expression – For Women for taking home the 2019 Bloggers Bash Award for Personal Development Blog. You can check out all of the other winners on The Bloggers Bash Website. I would also like to say congratulations to all of those who were nominated. It takes a special person to go out of their way to nominate another blogger for an award and an equally as special blogger to be nominated.

Being nominated was the highlight of my 2019!!! Thank you all who nominated and or voted for R.O.E.


S.Y.K.

So You Know is a series that goes live each and every Monday (well 95% of the time). It’s a series intended to bring the reader closer to their favorite bloggers. To participate is simple.

  • Create a post on your site answering the week’s questions OR post your answers in the comment section below.
  • Create a pingback to this weeks version of S.Y.K. Don’t know how? Chat with me and I’ll walk you through it.
  • All that is asked: be honest 🙂


    This Weeks Questions

    1. Have you ever had a relationship with someone that you could not touch (Due to circumstance or distance)?
    2. If so, how did y’all meet?
    3. Do you believe a relationship can survive without physical touch?
    4. What types of relationships have surprised you (Close friend, brothers childhood friend, web friends)?
    5. If you have ever had an experience with a relationship that was not typical of dating methods, what made it different and how long did y’all last?

    My answers to last weeks questions

    1. How often, if ever, do you feel ruled by your emotions? Everyday!! Not a good thing. I am working on my emotional maturity, one day at a time.
    2. Does your mood decide your productivity level? I would have to say more so yes than no but not necessarily. Lol. Sometimes I can be in the best mood and not accomplish a damn thing but if I’m in a bad mood, count me out.
    3. Are you bipolar or do you have another behavioral diagnosis? Actually, I was recently misdiagnosed bipolar. There is a thin line that determines so and my addictive qualities were showing themselves resulting in a misdiagnosis. I am ADHD which makes the most sense to me as far as I am concerned.
    4. How do you respond to having a not-so-good day? (Sleep, cry, nothing). Depending on the severity. I can sleep for days or cry.
    5. If you could give your moods names, what would they be?

    -Anger: Ruth

    -Sadness: Sally

    -Joyful: Holly

    -Blah: Bertha

    -Excited: Candace ❤