When I Becomes We: Planning 2019

Let’s Plan & Smash Goals Together


In 2019

When I Becomes We-Planning 2019-Revenge of Eve

Whether we are ready or not 2018 is coming to an end….like in two weeks!!  Year after year people across the globe set New Year resolutions only for 80% to have failed by March.  Such alarming statistics suggest we aren’t doing something right!!

Personally, I do not set resolutions.  I tend to shy away from opportunities to fail.  Each year I set a word to focus my life around. This year is no different with the exception of setting goals and planning them out.  Yup, I am going to attempt planning 12 months in advance, kind of (commitment issues), and so are you!

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A blank slate can present opportunity or it can stir up fear.  Some writers struggle with the intimidating blank screen while the artist does so with a blank canvass.  Similar to them, staring at a blank 12-month calendar can be overwhelming! Honestly, it is unrealistic to think you can plan a whole year in advance.  Life doesn’t happen that way. Twists and turns are thrown in the mix, sports schedules are not available, and the dance recital is scheduled two months prior.

Having the tendency to complicate things, I figure we will go all out and keep it simple in 2019.  I hear this phrase often but have yet put action to it.  But..for 2019, it’s a plan! 😉

If you think to yourself “ I don’t have time to plan”, stop that negativity right now!!  Set aside an hour or two a week and set yourself up for success. I choose Monday as my day for planning.  It is my day off and the beginning of my week. Have you decided on yours? Decide already…

What goes into planning?

Planning, as a role in my life, can be described as no other than a pain in the ass.  It seems that something pops up that I hadn’t planned disrupting the flow of my day.  What I have come to realize is that in order for planning to work, it must be customized to your lifestyle.  Buying a planner meant for entrepreneurs does nothing for someone without a business.

Customizing a plan of how to plan may be a bit extraordinaire but we are going to do it anyway because we are … learning.  Starting at the beginning is intimidating for all of us especially if you have attempted before and consider it a fail. We will not look at it that way.  These suggestions will help us break our life into parts that we can easily manage by using a customized planning system. But before we dive into that, here are three important things to keep in mind while we plan to plan 🙂


3 Ways to Simplify Planning and Goal Setting

  1. Be realistic
  2. Be honest with yourself
  3. Keep it simple

Realistic planning

Setting realistic goals contributes to your success rate.  Unrealistic goal setting will stress you out or have you throwing in the towel altogether.   In order to set realistic goals, you must have a realistic plan. The two go hand in hand. My recommendation is to set your goals first so you can break them down into months and further break those down to segments.  I’ll explain.

Set  3 goals that you wish to achieve

Randomly, assign each goal four months

Now let’s do a little math.  By using the 12 months as our denominator we will divide by 3 and get 4.  What is the purpose in this? We have broken our goals into months. The months under a goal are the months you work toward that particular goal. Next break it down to segments. Segment will be mini monthly goals. Do not set more than four goals each month.

Were you able to follow along?  My explanation may not have been presented in a way that is understandable for you but hang tight.  If it does not make any sense by the end of this post, then we can do something different for you.


Be Honest with Yourself

This part is critical when planning.  Do not set aside three hours for exercise if you have never exercised a day in your life.  That is wasted space and when it isn’t accomplished you will feel the wrath of failure and quit.  We ain’t got time for that boo.

Since we are being honest, I lie to myself alllll the time.  This area will require the most work from me. I like to plan a 30 hour day.  See how that doesn’t work? I can hear it now, “ Candace, aren’t realistic and being honest with yourself the same?”, and to that I respond “no”.

The difference is that Amy’s customized plan is realistic for her but can you say, honestly, that it will work for you?  If you are still confused read on.


Keep it Simple

“Wow Candace this whole post has been anything but simple!!”,  well, I tried but I am learning as we go. The idea belongs to me but the concept requires “we”.  There will be a drawing of me trying to get what is in my head out on “paper”, wait until you see that. Lol

Keeping it simple will require us not to overthink our decisions and continue to work towards our achievable goals.  Implementing this process will take practice and the only thing that gives us room for practice is time.  We cannot rush ourselves. We try it one way and if that doesn’t work, we try something else. It may take us a year to find our individual planning system but the beauty of this is we have each other to bounce ideas and suggestions off of.

If you are on the outside looking in your perspective isn’t necessarily better than my own, it offers another way of approaching my situation.  Make any sense? Does any of this make sense??


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Here goes nothing.

  • If you are tired of winging life and would like to join along in an effort to become more organized, These post will be for you.
  • If you don’t mind that your fearless leader doesn’t know exactly what she is doing, you are encouraged to pipe in and help a sister out.
  • If you are interested in discovering the customized plan that works for you plus have the patience to develop it, you are the person we need.
  • If you want to watch us fail and get back up, getta’ life and get outta here!!!

Perhaps the word I have been feeling around for is accountability partner.  That sounds doable but of course that term would be tweaked a bit because more will go into it.  Like, exchanging emails, sharing ideas and embarrassing yourself by being completely 100% honest about falling flat on your face.

If all or any of this sounds interesting to you, comment I, and look for future posts titled When I Becomes We.

We aren’t meant to go at this thing called life alone and since we have the internet and none of us are having to physically get out of our comfort zones, we should take advantage of each others online presence, right?!  Makes sense to me but we all know by now my sense meter is a little off.

Just like with everything I am going to do in 2019, I am just putting it out there.  Eventually something will come of it.

Toodles ~ Candace


Don’t you dare laugh at my messy example. I normally would never post something as ugly as this but it is what it is, a rough sketch example. If this adds to your confusion, I am sorry. This isn’t an in-depth example, it is a brief example of how the idea began.

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Candace Lynne - Revenge of Eve
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2019 Challenge

A Challenge for Happiness, Inspiration & Balance


As it always happens when we put it out in the universe that we want or need something it will show up in many ways and it becomes our responsibility to act on it.  I don’t know about you but there have been times that I have silently begged for change and to my surprise hundreds of avenues open up for me to initiate the change.  Let me be honest, no matter how bad I may have wanted it, fear holds me back from taking advantage of the opportunities I pled for.

2019 Challenge-Revenge of Eve

This is the case 85% of the time for me, happening more than I’d like to admit.   But guess what?  It is this fear that I want to escape and I am taking things for what they are. This challenge was presented to me by the universe and it is something I vouch to complete.  There I said it!!  You are now given permission to stay on my ass and make sure I am consistent in posting each weeks challenges….I know, I know …. I am not holding you responsible nor do you have to adult-sit me but giving you such permission gives me something to be accountable to.  Ya see??  🙂

So, what is it already??  My mother and I were shopping (surprise) and I just so happened to find my way to the stationery aisle in TJ Maxx (another surprise).  Low and behold, after I over turn each and every notebook, journal, planner, calendar….you get the picture, appears a book titled “52 Lists for Happiness”.  WHAT??? and as I realize what this is, my sign, I pick it up and turn a few pages.  I rub my hand across a page to feel the texture, I admire the illustrations so carefully drawn, and then I check the price.  $10.00.  Not needing to spend any money on myself because I have spent my savings, Christmas is right around the corner, and I have bills due soooo I do what any adult-child would do…. I show it to my mom and with a pitiful pout I say, “I really shouldn’t get this but it is exactly what I need to accomplish my goals in 2019″.  Yes, really.  I am that 40-year old.  Pathetic, right?!  It was my birthday too but it wasn’t that I wanted or needed her to buy it, I just needed her to make it ok for me to spend the $10.00.  Honestly, I should view it as an investment because it is for the bettering, I hope.

2019-Challenge-R.O.E

Walking through the store, with it in hand, I do what any cheap, shopaholic would do, I look for it on Amazon.  🙂  I weigh my options,  I haven’t invested in Prime, (why? no excuse, no excuse)  with shipping it totals about the same price.  I read two reviews and then silently cuss myself out in my head.  “Seriously Candace?  Get it together!!  This has the possibility to lead you to yourself and omg isn’t that what you want?”.  I buy the book.

52 Lists for Happiness

By: Moorea Seal

Weekly journaling

Inspiration for Positivity,

Balance, and Joy

2019-Challenge-R.O.E

From what I gathered the author is a blogger, ok see…. you seeing the signs yet?, and she has formed a community of fans that participate in this challenge each year.  Amazing, right?  Yes, just agree.  In the preface of the journal/guided book she suggests using the  #52HappyLists hashtag on social media to find others who are working their way through the book.  Considering I am setting myself free from (most) social media, I will not be hashtagging publicly but I will use it on my blog!!  Brilliant!  My fellow bloggers that are unhappy, bored, and needing change can do this together!!  Sounds amazing and I hope you join.  Encourage other to join too but do not look for the hashtag elsewhere because it will not coincide with the edition we are doing.  Like we all know, I am notoriously late for the show and with this being no exception.  WE, tee-hee, will be doinggggggg  the 2016 version of #52HappyLists.  🙂  We are only three years behind.  Not bad.

Here is how it will go down.

Every Monday morning, like wicked early morning, the list of the week will be published by the handy scheduler.  How early?  Hmmmm, let’s say it will “go live” at 2:00 am every Monday morning, Central American time.  From there you can do whatever the hell you want with it.  You can keep it to yourself, you can blast it on your blog, you can email me, post it on your fridge, share with your co-workers…….WHATEVER makes you…… drum roll….. HAPPY!!  BUT, always a but, give credit where credit is due.  How so?

  1. First and foremost credit the author of the book:  Moorea Seal because legally, you have to and morally because you don’t wanna be a shitty person.  Her work is copyright
  2. Link to the beautiful post I publish each week 😉  Don’t know how?  Ask and I will explain.  Invite your friends.  Let’s have happy feeds in 2019.  Can you imagine the mental health community…happy?  It would be a beautiful thing.  Why?  because we fuck’n deserve it.
  3. Use the hashtag #52HappyLists and #achallengeforhappiness, please
  4. And last but not least…. enjoy this challenge.  Integrate it into your life.  Allow it to make small changes in your day, welcome it.  We are worth it ya’ll and that is what I have come to know in my heart.  Everyone of us is worthy, including me.  

I honestly haven’t even flipped through the book so I don’t know what will be presented each week but what I do know is I am full of hope and I would be so excited if you joined me in this challenge.  What could it hurt?  If you don’t enjoy it, stop at any time.


Chow!!!  This begins January 7, 2019 ……… subscribe using the pop-up to receive insider info 😉

Candace Lynne - Revenge of Eve

From Alcoholic to Bipolar to Blogger

From Alcoholic to Bipolar to Blogger

An Inspirational Life Story


Hey y’all!!  Welcome to Revenge of Eve, An Unconventional Lifestyle Blog.

It excites me that you have stumbled on my little slice of the internet and I hope you take your time to mosey around!  

But before you do,  allow me to share with you my story.

Presently

You may be wondering,  “what is an unconventional lifestyle blog?”.  Well….for starters if you are new to the wonderful world of the internet, the history of blogging can be found by clicking here.  If you are familiar with what a blog is, here’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!

During my research for beginning a blog, it became evident  that in order to have a successful blog you must choose a specific niche.  I found this information to be disappointing and almost tragic for my dreams.  I thought “How am I expected to be authentic discussing one particular subject when in fact I am a multifaceted woman with a range of interests?”.  Refusing to let go of my dream of connecting with others on a human level, I decided to do as I have always done….

I created my own damn niche!

An Unconventional Lifestyle niche was born.

Revenge of Eve

The word ‘unconventional’ was chosen in an effort to remain true to my character.  I have never fit the mold nor in a box. My thought process is a bit different than others, my fashion sense unique, and my humor, dry.  These are the qualities I am learning to embrace and at 40 years old, I am attempting life for the second time.

Before I go any further, I have a history and one that I am not proud of.  When reflecting on my life it isn’t shame I feel yet a deep sadness.

“A life lived in emotional turmoil results in unhealthy choices creating unhealthy habits.”

Candace Lynne

My personal account: 2012

After leading, 20 plus years, life as a bartender, I found myself attempting to stop drinking alcohol on a daily basis.  Unaware of the depths my alcohol use had plunged, imagine the surprise reality served me with withdrawal symptoms.

People drink to socialize, celebrate, and relax. Alcohol often has a strong effect on people—and throughout history, people have struggled to understand and manage alcohol’s power.  National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA).

How had I gotten so far beyond that my body was physically dependent on it?  How was it possible that me, a functional mother of one, that worked five sometimes six days a week, has to consider she may be an alcoholic?  Did others know? If so, why hadn’t they cared enough about me to express their worries? Was I not worth it?

“A variety of mental illnesses such as post-traumatic stress disorder, antisocial personality disorder [characterized by a lack of empathy toward other people], anxiety, sleep disorders, or depression, increase the risk of addiction. Those with the highest risk of addiction have bipolar disorder or schizophrenia — up to 50 percent [of people with these conditions] can have an addiction,” says Garbutt, researcher. everydayhealth.com

Thoughts continued swirling around in my head and at that moment, my only way to freedom was death.  Irrational thoughts consumed me and before I knew it I had dialed my sister and threatened suicide. Reaching me in record time my sister stood before me aiding my rescue.

The rest of the day is fuzzy.

Most of my days were fuzzy.

An untreated or undiagnosed mental disorder can wreak havoc on an individual who is suffering from a disorder as well as those around them. When a person is suffering from a mental health disorder, often, they are unaware that the disorder exists. While the individual will not understand their feelings or the mental problems that they are suffering from, they may experience feelings of hopelessness, depression, anger, or impulsiveness. Because of this, they find themselves feeling lost and at times can turn to unhealthy behaviors in an attempt to numb their psychological suffering. This process is known as self-medicating. One of the most frequently used substances for self-medicating is alcohol, although illegal drugs are also commonly abused by those with mental health disorders. Although the alcohol may temporarily numb the symptoms that the user is experiencing, self-medicating can lead to serious problems. Ouitalcohol.com

Waking at three a.m., on the mental ward floor of our local hospital, I come flying out of my room woken from a nightmare only for my surroundings to be more unfamiliar than the darkest corners of my dreams.  In the stillness, my haste drew the attention of a nurse. Meeting me in pure panic, she did as she knew and referred me back to my bed. “Hell no!!”, I demanded a coke. Somehow I remembered my sister bringing me my own personal bottles of coke, “I want a coke!”, I raised my voice with intention.

Weighing a hefty 200 pounds, standing five foot ten, it was evident my demands would be met out of sheer fear. As I drank my soda I stand in the hallway unaware of what was soon become the hardest years of my life.  At 33 years old I hadn’t been a day without a cigarette since I was 13 or a drink since I was 20.

Desperately ripping the nicotine patch from my arm I lick it trying to absorb as much nicotine as possible.  My clouded brain hears the muffled voice of the nurse informing me that caffeinated drinks are not allowed after set hours and that my nightmare was a side effect of the nicotine patch. In a dazed state , I remember being awakened after I had just fallen back to sleep.  I refused to budge. I lay there prepared to throw a tantrum or resort to whatever means necessary to go back to sleep.

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I slept.  

I do not recall the sequence in which the events of my first hospital stay occurred but there is one particular event that is ingrained forever. An elderly patient, who was clearly more mentally disabled than me, flipped a switch within me altering my opinion about the power our mind holds.  Today, I candidly tell the story but in the moments it occurred, it couldn’t have been more serious.

That day

In between group the other patients would gather in a small room with tables, a television, and the phones while I paced the halls, gnawing on a straw, I would swiftly pass by walking in gapping strides.  Somewhere around and about mile two or three of my anxious pacing I had a joiner. A woman in her 50’s who toted a life-sized baby doll would attempt to keep up with me. I smiled and was flattered that she had chosen me to become attached to… until I wasn’t.  Quickly I became annoyed with her presence. She would disrupt my course causing me to go off path. The path I had beaten down on the carpet for two consecutive days.

At this point, amidst the groups, paperwork, and pacing, it had been determined that I suffered from mdd, major depressive disorder, although the diagnosis was not discussed with me.

“Clinically speaking, you have to treat the addiction and the psychological symptoms at the same time. Misdiagnosis, and therefore under-treatment, is common, such as when an alcohol addiction is masking bipolar disorder,” says Garbutt.

Psychosis: My First Experience

I would begin by asking her nicely to stop following me and she would nonchalantly respond, “ I’m finnnne”.  Agitated I would dodge off into my room closing the door. When the anxiety heightened I would return to pacing with Nancy in tow.  Over the next 24 hours, I pled with Nancy and I paced. Before exiting my room I would gather my composure and set off on my course.  Waking to my reality and a cigarette on my mind, I start the next day on the wrong foot. Unbenounced to me Nancy’s curiosity had been peaked from my exiting and entering my room.  She would take it upon herself to go in my room and borrow two of my gifted puzzle books… without my knowledge.  For what had become a part of my path, I entered my room and immediately notice something off.  Within seconds I figure out what it was. In this very instant, I would be shown that it isn’t me who is in control.  Regardless of the constant, silent coaching, I had been doing,  I snapped.  Screaming at the top of my lungs I run out of my room.  Before I grasp reality a nurse stops me in my tracks. Suddenly I am surrounded by all of the staff.

“ I have lost my mind.”

Alcohol hallucinosis: These hallucinations are typically auditory, but may manifest as visual or tactile. The condition is also characterized by mood disturbances, rapid mood swings, and delusions, and it may ultimately mimic schizophrenia in presentation. It is unlike delirium tremens and can appear in a person who otherwise had clear thinking and memory previously.

After a shot of Ativan, the nurse comes into my room with my books in hand.


That is the last thing I remember before passing out.

This was the beginning of a year in and out of inpatient rehabs, mental institutions and sober living homes where I would go on to experience two more episodes of psychosis.  These episodes of a distorted reality would later go on to be the determining factor in my changed diagnosis.  

April 20, 2015, I walked through the doors of our local government funded mental health clinic and haven’t  looked back. Willingness and honesty gave me the start I needed to pave a new path and I have not had a drink since that day.  The first year of my sobriety was spent adjusting to a world without blinders. Careful not to tempt myself I would stay cooped up at home and worked the graveyard shift at a restaurant that did not serve alcohol.

2015

Setting small goals of travel for my daughter and I motivated me to save money and go on trips that have produced some great memories for her and I.  My life started to gain momentum, I was humbled by the graveyard job, my anger was tested with another employer and because of this instead of responding I asked for my old job back at the casino.  I left this job to enter rehab and am grateful to still be employed there to today.

My diagnosis of mdd had not changed and I began taking an antidepressant with nonnarcotic anti-anxiety medication while being treated by a psychiatrist at the mental health clinic.  It was here I received counseling and completed an outpatient rehab program. After almost two years I decided it was time for me to seek a new psychiatrist because my anger was beginning to increase and there wasn’t much about life that excited me.

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2017

January 2017, with the switch in psychiatrist, I would be diagnosed with bipolar 1 mood disorder, anxiety, and mild ocd.  At this point I was severely depressed, pissed off and unstable. My moods became so unbearable that I turned to Google and typed in bipolar disorder.  Before my eyes 30 or 40 articles described my pain, my life, my illness.  

It was in July of 2017 that I began blogging to share my story of mental illness with others.  I had no idea the impact creating a blog would have on me. It forced me to want to be well so I were able to communicate what goes on within.  I promised myself to stick with blogging because I had not followed through with much in my life and I had fallen in love with the community. As an empath and introvert, it allowed me to connect in a way I had not ever been capable of.  For this reason alone, I agreed to take the antipsychotic my doctor recommended.

In September of 2017, I began a medication regime that has changed my life and perspective.  Currently I have found what I believe to be my calling and in order for me to achieve success I have a lot of work to do on myself.  From building a solid foundation to accepting life on life’s terms, implementing suggestions for growth and most importantly, learning to love myself and forgive myself.  The time I have been in recovery, thus far, has been spent adjusting to my surroundings and the time has come to take it a step further. There are sure to be challenges but I am ready to tackle them and keep moving forward.  My hope is that others are able to relate and for us to share the path on this journey.

Revenge of Eve dot com is live!

Will you please hang out and join me on this

              journey of self-discovery, self-love, and finding my inner strengths?

Candace Lynne - Revenge of Eve