Revenge of Eve

Working on Us #4

Mental Health & Recovery

Working on Us

#4

After missing last weeks episode, I had to make sure to make good on this one. Life is a little busy and a little shitty right now but hey!!…that’s life πŸ™‚

Kid and I went out today and bought her some socks for school and a tea pot for her future stovetop. We prefer our tea boiled in a tea pot verses in the microwave. The aroma of tea makes me happy. My daughter is a sweet tea drinking fool so for her dorm/future apartment, a tea pot is essential πŸ˜‰ For Christmas I bought her a black strainer with silver handles and when we saw the tea pot with the colors reversed, she had to have it. Twenty dollars is worth the value of some good ole sweet tea.


I am choosing the first prompt which this week is a question that asks:

How do you deal with the stigma surrounding your mental illness(es)? The question was submitted by Carol Anne

I do not lend my focus toward the stigmas attached. I prefer speaking from personal experience and to anyone who brings the subject up. I also make sure to defend our lack of control on the matter and also do my best to provide educating material for others. In fact, I have pulled out Ashley’s book at work for a few girls who were questioning their medication. I do not have a resource library on hand but I do have some quick material bookmarked for easy access. I choose to put my energy in understanding my own situation without allowing others opinion to pollute my experience. I still grapple for the words to describe what it is I am dealing with. Some days are better than others.

letter143-Revenge of Eve

6.28.19

Mental Health & Recovery

*language warning*

I am finding this time of my life extremely difficult. Each time I feel as though I advance on a spiritual level, something material or childish, immature behavior on behalf of others, pulls me down. I want to run away. Sell my car and live on the streets. This race to maintain and all the glory given to the almighty dollar has my life in shambles. Do you know how it feels to say “I am unhappy. I want to quit my job” and to have your mother remind you that you have bills?? Because she “wants to mentor me”. Are you fucking kidding me? Mentor a 40-year-old?!! For crying out loud, it’s a little fuck’n late don’tcha think???

And life with a teen is pure bliss. If I see her. She’s in and out. When she’s in, she’s laid up in her room without a care in the world. The world spins for her and what else is there to do? Or that’s what I assume she thinks because hell, I have no clue what she thinks. Every time I think I do, I get it wrong.

Do you ever feel like there is always someone standing over your shoulder criticizing every step you take? That’s what life feels like for me and it fuck’n sucks!!! Because if we gonna do that, I got a list for them too…but I do not want to feed into that energy but…Did I mention it fuck’n sucks? No one wants to evaluate themselves. They’d rather point out everything you do “wrong”. I’m over it!!

I’d like to touch on gossiping and I mean barely skim over the subject: GROW SOME BALLS AND COMMUNICATE!!! And to the two-faced people out there…grow the fuck up. You think you are slick?? You are a waste of time. Stop trying to snake your way into friendships because who you truly are will soon surface.

I’m going to take a nap and try again. Let’s hope I feel better when I wake up because right now….

Hometown Chick: Part 1

Louisiana Love

318 Girl

Revenge of Eve

The Red River. In this photo, we are at flood stage. *interesting fact: the casino I work at sits on this river.

If you are familiar with southern rap music, you’ll know that any time they “claim their city” or “represent” their hometown; like saying ” 504 Boyz” ~ Lil Wayne ~…. 504 is New Orleans’ area code. Up in Northern Louisiana, we are 318 – also known as Ratchet City (πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚) I can’t make this shit up..! (I❀it!)

Anywayyyzzzzz

A surprise for you

Reminiscing on when my life was hectic – being a full-time time mom, girlfriend, active alcoholic, full-time employee, and whatever else I was doing – we were so active!!!! One of our favorite things to do was tour our city. We love the downtown area of the city across the bridge from where we currently reside.

The developments restoring the old, brick factory buildings, turning them into living space along with the plantation mansions getting two sometimes four apartments out of one – has been expanding further out and so, with y’all in mind, I present you the Central West End Tour – keep in mind this is my first time to explore this part of town. The pictures reflect when fresh eyes meet wonder. I find beauty in dilapidated buildings and dead trees (not pictured today) so not all pictured has been restored…but there is hope.

I ❀ my Home

(It hasn’t always been this way)


Asian Gardens

Much to my surprise, my local town has developed an area dedicated to Asia, Asian Gardens. I find this interesting as my area isn’t one heavily influenced by Asian culture or the races of Asia, BUT the casinos generate a variety of cultures with Asian clientele topping the chart for feeding the gambling bug.

This area is located smack dab in the middle of our downtown area. I worked mere blocks from this dedication for a number of years and spent too many nights dancing until the sun came up, although, the Asian Gardens were not here at the time.

Here in Louisiana, the state is fueled and funded by the lovely alcohol tax. The laws that surround the sale of alcohol are determined parish to parish (we do not have county’s). You may be surprised to learn that our night clubs stay open until… Wait for it…. 6 am. Yes, that’s right! Outside of the downtown area and for the sale of alcohol in stores, it stops at 2 am but back in business at 7 am. There is a loophole that allows for drinking on casino property 24/7!!! Makes perfect sense that I am an alcoholic in recovery!


I present to you, Asian Gardens

Shreveport, Louisiana

These photos are of small statues that are each dedicated to areas of Asia.

There are mini gardens dedicated to specific parts of Asia scattered throughout a quarter mile radius. I am ashamed to say that I failed I record the details of this impromptu tour to coincide with its photography.

*note to self: take pics, jot notes*

Kid and I have already toured the next spot for Louisiana Love and I can’t wait to go back for the info!! Until next time,

❀ from Louisiana

Revenge of Eve

S.Y.K.

Life & Relationships

So You Know

S.Y.K.

Whaddup, y’all?


Not too much here. Crazy Pieces moon has my house an emotional rollercoaster!! But it’s a good ride because I am shedding my skin. I am growing and I’ll take that anyway I can get it. Kid too!!

I’ve spent the day doing as any empowered woman does by bleaching the shit out of my space. Sheets, comforter, bathroom…ya know, wiping away any reminiscence of those emotions, yeah, those. Then Kid and I sat outside and enjoyed the beautiful sunny skies with a breeze and minimal humidity – I am so grateful for those commodities in life. We forget that it is those details we take for granted.


Mine and Kid's feet propped up on our back porch wall-Revenge of Eve
Back porch life

*Us girls stick together through mess*


And on to the reason you stopped by!

This week’s questions will be a round of lighthearted questions because who really wants to think? Not this chick (Y’all should hear my chicken cawl – no really)!!

Never participated in S.Y.K? Alright then…here are the loose guidelines:

  1. Publish a post on your website/blog answering today’s questions OR drop your answers in the comment section below.
  2. Create a pingback to this weeks edition. Don’t know how? Hit me up through my Chat menu. I’ll tell ya how. It’s easy.
  3. Be honest.
Mirror reflection of myself-graphic design-Revenge of Eve

Simple, Easy, Fun, Supportive!

This week’s questions

  • Do you like creamer with your tea or coffee?
  • What year were you born?
  • What things would you never pair together (clothes, objects, colors..)?
  • Does color represent certain beliefs/ideas for you?
  • If someone is getting on your nerves, how do you handle it?


My answers to last week’s questions

Answering these are me being vulnerable. And I’m sure I will be vague. Js.

He said he respected me and didn't want to insult my intelligence.  Wow! Do you know how honest that is?  And how bad it hurt for the me that is dying.-R.O.E.

The me that is dying is the teen who accepted less because she thought that’s what she deserved. Rejection. My kryptonite. Except this time a broken one, like myself, valued me enough to compliment me so I can see my worth and send me on my way. That shit doesn’t happen everyday but I accepted it for what it’s worth. My value. My growth and my evolution.



  1. Have you ever had a relationship with someone that you could not touch (Due to circumstance or distance)? Sort of. I was well on my way.
  2. If so, how did y’all meet? Our stories have been intertwined since childhood and then connected in a not-so-good loop of tragedy in our early twenties.
  3. Do you believe a relationship can survive without physical touch? I couldn’t.
  4. What types of relationships have surprised you (Close friend, brothers childhood friend, web friends)? My only best friend still by my side and most likely because he is man. My freshman year in high school two seniors with cowboy hats walk up to the truck I was in with two thugs and asked if I needed a ride home by some real men. Lmao. Naturally I stayed sat where I was. Soon after I arrived at home to the two of them sitting on the tailgate of a truck drinking beer in my driveway. I ended up dating one of them for a short period of time and the other….well, he’s been next to me ever since (pictured below).
  5. If you have ever had an experience that was not typical of traditional dating methods, what made it different and how long did it last? What I was recently involved in was far from typical and it lasted a month-ish. The rest of the details I’ll leave up to your imagination. πŸ™‚
Me and my best friend, Snotty-Revenge of Eve
Candace & Snotty (Matt)

Back on Track

Personal Growth & Goals

Distracted

We all know how easily I can be distracted and I have been so for a month. Squirrel. Lol. But no, really. And omg how huge this day is???!!! I can honestly see that I am growing.

I won’t fool you and say the decision was mine because it wasn’t but what I can say is, I felt the sadness of it, and let it go. No obsessing, no fighting it, no harassing, no embarrassment, no shame, no regret…just acceptance. Wow!! Fuck’n WOW!!!

Wow. It’s a beautiful thing. To be able to speak on the things you feel in the moment but to also let go of those things because they are now in the past…even if it was an hour ago, it’s gone. The sadness I feel is because I have to leave the broken behind to save myself. But I will never truly let go of those whom I wish to rescue from themselves and so I’ll improve myself in hopes of them seeing the potential presence has. The peace it offers. The pain it relieves. The love it has.

The pure essence of it is at its core is an amazing concept and one I find my soul grasping onto for its own survival. A warrior I am and a slave I have been but I’ve felt the release acceptance brings and I refuse to let that go. That belongs to me – within me. Embedded in my soul. It is my soul.

It is for everyone, not only me and if you embrace it, you will see. You too are worthy. Set yourself free and just BE.


If you are reading this know that you are witnessing its power. I am changing. It is changing me. I am allowing it and fuck is it scary but so fuck’n worth it!!!

(6.23.19)

* If you are reading this, thank you, Chris. Your respect and faith in me has given me strength. *

revenge of eve-letter143

6.23.19

Life & Relationships

Thank you for doing for me what I haven’t found the strength to do for myself

I will get there though

And I’ll have you to thank for this day

I will sit with this sadness instead of wishing it away

Because you do mean something to me

What that is, I’m not so sure

I want for you to accept your situation and for you to escape it but you choose your prison and that is something I cannot change

Although feelings were forming, I never forgot who you are but that’s what is so beautiful about acceptance

It just is

Breaking free from the roles others have placed on you is scary

Believe me, I know

From warrior to Queen hasn’t come without it’s challenges

But once you taste its freedom, you can’t go back

You deserve peace from a life of pain but as bad as I want that for you, I cannot force something on you that you do not know exists

Where you live breeds evilness and its power is stronger than me

But one day, you’ll see

And when you do

I hope you know

It’s me

Bye Sweets

July Journal Challenge

Creative & Collective

July – eek!


*transparency warning: In order to avoid failure, I dodge challenges.


Hey, Y’all!

I have been easing my way into more and more creative endeavors as far as making covers and combining papers but I have also been trying to focus my creativity on my personal journals. Without pressuring myself, I would like to make an insert for a few life categories and make them on a monthly basis. I am beginning to get a feel of what I go to most and which category’s I will actually utilize.

What’s an insert?

This creative journey has led to discovering the perfect system combining journaling, memory keeping, and planning..and you can add many more – sketch paper insert, watercolor insert… Whatever you can think of, you can dedicate an insert to. My preference leans towards using scrap papers from other projects that are cut to size for a smaller sized insert – passport-sized, however, I also enjoy the room that the standard size offers. In search of “planner peace”, I have opted to make my own inserts. This allows me to make both sizes and over time make the decision to switch up sizes dependant on space needed for each category.

Revenge of Eve personal travelers notebooks

Top: made by Recollections Bottom: Prima Marketing Inc.

What system do I speak of? The Midori traveler’s notebook.

Travelers insert size chart - Revenge of Eve

Standard Size Chart for Midori Travelers notebook covers and inserts


Want to learn more about paper? Check out Let’s Talk Paper!


That’s the beauty of it all – everything about it is customizable.

The Challenge?

I am challenging myself to make inserts for the following life aspects:

  • Creative
  • Calendar
  • Writing
  • Memory Keeping

Here’s where the challenge comes in…I have to use them πŸ˜‚ I want to have used each page in each insert. I will include seven sheets of paper which totals 15 pages. This will be my first time dividing my life up, creatively, but also assigning a set number of days to dedicate towards planning, memory keeping, journaling, and creative endeavors.

Surely I will be successful, right? To keep it interesting I have created 15 prompts to guide me. These will be chosen at random throughout the month. At the end of the month, I will share the results.

{Typing that heightened my anxiety. My fear of commitment is serious folks!!}

βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†βˆ†

Revenge of Eve-July Journal Challenge

Proper Invitation

If this challenge interests you in any way and you would like to join, I’d personally like to invite you to do so. Use the prompts and make time to dedicate to yourself. There are no guidelines or rules to follow. If you would like to follow the prompts do so in your own creative way. You can use it as a photo guide, art guide, collage, mixed media, poetry… It will be SO interesting to see how others interpret July’s Journal Challenge.

So now that it is official, let me get to making my inserts!!! I’ll keep ya posted on my progress. Have a great weekend y’all!

❀

Revenge of Eve

Revenge of Eve

So You Know + A Lil More Info..

Life & Relationships

First things first

A big congrats to Sneha’s Expression – For Women for taking home the 2019 Bloggers Bash Award for Personal Development Blog. You can check out all of the other winners on The Bloggers Bash Website. I would also like to say congratulations to all of those who were nominated. It takes a special person to go out of their way to nominate another blogger for an award and an equally as special blogger to be nominated.

Being nominated was the highlight of my 2019!!! Thank you all who nominated and or voted for R.O.E.


S.Y.K.

So You Know is a series that goes live each and every Monday (well 95% of the time). It’s a series intended to bring the reader closer to their favorite bloggers. To participate is simple.

  • Create a post on your site answering the week’s questions OR post your answers in the comment section below.
  • Create a pingback to this weeks version of S.Y.K. Don’t know how? Chat with me and I’ll walk you through it.
  • All that is asked: be honest πŸ™‚


    This Weeks Questions

    1. Have you ever had a relationship with someone that you could not touch (Due to circumstance or distance)?
    2. If so, how did y’all meet?
    3. Do you believe a relationship can survive without physical touch?
    4. What types of relationships have surprised you (Close friend, brothers childhood friend, web friends)?
    5. If you have ever had an experience with a relationship that was not typical of dating methods, what made it different and how long did y’all last?

    My answers to last weeks questions

    1. How often, if ever, do you feel ruled by your emotions? Everyday!! Not a good thing. I am working on my emotional maturity, one day at a time.
    2. Does your mood decide your productivity level? I would have to say more so yes than no but not necessarily. Lol. Sometimes I can be in the best mood and not accomplish a damn thing but if I’m in a bad mood, count me out.
    3. Are you bipolar or do you have another behavioral diagnosis? Actually, I was recently misdiagnosed bipolar. There is a thin line that determines so and my addictive qualities were showing themselves resulting in a misdiagnosis. I am ADHD which makes the most sense to me as far as I am concerned.
    4. How do you respond to having a not-so-good day? (Sleep, cry, nothing). Depending on the severity. I can sleep for days or cry.
    5. If you could give your moods names, what would they be?

    -Anger: Ruth

    -Sadness: Sally

    -Joyful: Holly

    -Blah: Bertha

    -Excited: Candace ❀