Relationship Curious-Revenge of Eve

Relationship Curious

Mental Health & Recovery, Personal Growth & Goals

Hardly Ever

It isn’t very often that I have something positive to say about the generation that surrounds my daughter and my only true complaint with them is their lack of work ethic. And to be honest, it isn’t every day that anyone of any age impresses me but today, a nineteen year impressed me.

She’s actually impressed me quite a bit over the last three months but I’d hate for her head to get big and so I stay silent. She also just found out my web address so I won’t go into too much detail 😂 here either. But I had to tell her tonight because what she did, I wish I had the courage to have done most of my life.

Choose you-Revenge of Eve

She chose herself. She saw a toxic person for exactly who he is. This is not to say that he is a bad person. He is, however, detrimental for her growth. This also isn’t to say she won’t give him another chance tomorrow and I would never judge her if she did because I am no judge…but…before I go any further…

A brief snapshot of the situation:

  • Young single mother meets an older guy (10-11 years older) who invites her and her 18-month old son to move in bills free {red flag number one} a month into dating.
  • He talks at her, not to her and his opinions are made known.
  • He shows no affection.
  • Dinner is expected.
  • He encourages her son to disobey her.
  • He claimed to be in recovery yet from a photo, I said otherwise.
  • Last night, it became apparent that he must’ve started using again. {She is familiar with addict behavior because her mother is in active recovery and her dad is an active user of the same drug he claimed to not be on}.

Today, we moved her and her son’s belongings out. At that age or perhaps even my current age, I would make excuses for his behavior or secretly consider it a rescue challenge. I would disregard my intuition and stay because I feel that is the type of treatment I deserve. It’s the same toxic pattern that I have repeated in every single relationship I have had – which isn’t many but nonetheless, toxic. From there a stronger attachment is formed (feeding my ego it’s favorite meal…power) because they need me and I must prove so by providing shelter and other luxury accommodations. The given moment my temper flares, I flex my muscles (not literally y’all), tell them to get out and continue to beat a dead horse until it’s decomposed. Fun, right?

If you are lost, I’ll spell it out: I peep his game because I am the club president.

“I’m not only a client, I’m tha play’a President”

Biggie Smalls

I used to think it was them but as I’ve grown, I’ve began to notice my participation in the dance of deceit. And believe me when I say the men in my life that have got the best of me, they were my karma – I strongly believe that and that would attribute to my staying at times. But the joke was on me because, once again with that thought, proves I believed I held the power.

I must also acknowledge myself for being able to confront the patterns and behaviors that aren’t the most glamourous. Now I must move on to the action part.

Awareness, first. Action, second.

Now that I have identified this despicable pattern of weaved yarn, I must take action to not repeat it anymore. 34 years is plenty. That would require leaving the house. Better yet, my studio and I’m not sure what I’d do next with a guy – like how to have a conversation, how to believe them, how to accept their flaws…ugh…definitely not relationship ready but what if I am approaching relationship curious ??

7 thoughts on “Relationship Curious

  1. I’m very impressed with your daughter, good for her to have the sense to break things off.
    Wow! You certainly have given a great deal of thought about relationships. Which is a very good thing to do.
    I find that after my ex-husband, I made a mistake or two with judgement when it came to relationships. Hell, I’m 53 now, and although I do think of relationships, I’m not willing to explore that route at the current time.
    I’m still, very much, working on me. There is still a lot of soul searching, and self-love I need to give myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Same for myself and the few times I’ve attempted to like someone, the old me resurfaced as though I never worked on it but how are we to work on relationships if we aren’t involved in them?? It’s a conundrum.

      The 19-year-old is my coworker, not Kid but I have taken her under my wing like my own. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

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